just my 3rd original logo

[leggman01]

there is a new high school opening in 2006 just up the road, and they revealed colors and mascot the other day...purple and vegas gold colors, golden hawks as the mascot - i wanted to play around and see what i could come up with - i have very limited talent and inferior equipment (psp8) - i really just "logo-ized" a photo i found on google images - i like the way it is looking initially, but i really struggle with getting any depth in my images...i'd like some help from the experts because i think this has some potential - anyway, here is the image

and here is the reference photo that i used/"logo-ized"

feel free to play around with the logo and post any changes - i am going to email the athletic director and see if he has any interest - if he does, i wouldn't charge the school for my "work" (although i'd ask for some gear if they did, by any chance, use it), so it won't hurt my feelings if someone wants to make improvements

thanks in advance for any c&c and advice

edit: adjusted gold color

[lilgump]

I think that maybe you can go without the tongue. And maybe even try to sleek it up a little, think seahawks redo or cardinals new logo.

[Avenger]

You could probably stand to make the lines a little bolder, and add a little more stylization to it, as opposed to drawing a realistic diagram of a hawk. I agree that losing the tongue would be in the right direction.

It's a great start, though.

[leggman01]

thanks for the early c&c - i took the tongue out very quickly, but i'm not sure i like it better - one of the things i like about the tongue is that it makes it very unique - i agree the lines, especially the outlines, need to be a bit bolder and i'll work on that when i get a chance

here is the image sans tongue

what is the consesus...better or worse without the tongue?

[creativelysain]

That version is better without the tongue.

Although, the overall design can be much better, and be very good once fine tuned. Try this; Go back, and redraw the entire image, BUT, do it using the least amount of points that you can. For instance, instead of creating a curve with 2-3 points, do it only using 1.

Take some artisitic liscense with the logo, and give it some movement. Like Avenger said, make the lines considerably bolder, and stylize it some.

This comes with practice, as many of us start out simply tracing images, and adding outlines, but there are tricks that everyone comes up on their own.

[AHcreative]

I like it. I would add a little detail to it though maybe add some lines around the neck and towards the top of the haed. It's a good start, with some fixing up it could look really good.

[leggman01]

ok...i've taken some of the suggestions and tweaked this a bit - i lost the tuft of feathers on the back of the head to give it a "sleeker" look, and i like this direction - i made the outline much bolder, and i think that's a huge improvement, as well - i reduced the points in some areas (specifically the bottom curve), but i just can't get the curve from the base of the neck to the beak to do what i want in psp without adding 3 or 4 points...i'll continue to work on that - i tweaked the purple color a bit to make it more of a royal purple - i left the tongue because i like it...IF the high school wants to explore this logo (which is VERY unlikely, although i have emailed it to them with the caveat that it's still VERY MUCH a work in progress), i would lose the tongue if they wanted to - i like it mostly because i think it makes this hawk stand out from every other hawk logo i've ever seen...please, keep the comments and critiques coming, and thanks for the good input so far

[andrewharrington]

Definitely go without the tongue, first of all. Second, the only problem you're running into is realism. You're simply following the constraints placed upon your mind by your reference photo. Grab a pencil, and sketch something fresh, with long, bold strokes and lots of defined lines that don't necessarily mirror those in the photo, but let the viewer know exactly what they represent. A big thing I'm not liking about this is that big, round eye you have there. Check your photo and look at that mean brow over the eye. The simple inclusion of that, for starters, could break this thing wide open. It's such a powerful line that's really unique to a bird of prey like a hawk or eagle. That one line could tell the story and pull a lot of weight in this logo if executed right. A big reason is lacks depth is the uniform outline around the top and left side of the image. Some feather texture, some shadow, whatever it is, you need some more purple to balance out the gold. The image is very gold-heavy right now, and your problem area is the vast expanse of gold on the head, which is brought center stage by that uniform outline. Just find a way to vary that a little bit and get some more purple in that area to balance the gold.

PS. Do you have any more info on the progress down there at Methodist College? I'd like to put together a presentation and send it down if your athletic department is still looking for some graphic work. If you could give me a few names to whom I should send material, that would be great. Feel free to send me a PM. Thanks a bunch.

[leggman01]

tempest...as i said in the pm, i really like your suggestions and will try my best to implement the changes...i've lost the tongue per all the suggestions, and i'm adding some southern miss style "feathers" at the back - i've got to admit that i really like the idea of including the brow, but i've been working all night trying to make it happen...i just can't seem to draw it and make it look right...i need to come back to it later...thanks for the suggestions, though

[leggman01]

here is my latest version...i'm almost there - i have to confess to cheating a little bit on the eye...i used the "sunburst" effect in psp to give it some depth because i just couldn't get it right otherwise - i had to add a 3rd color to get that brow to work, and i think it added some depth all the way around, as well - thanks for all the c&c and keep it coming - this is easily my best logo (not saying much) and much better than it was to start out

let me know what you think!

[Shumway]

I think it could do without the shiny eye. Otherwise, it's looking pretty good. A huge improvement from the first version. I'd suggest maybe a different color(not purple) for the brow color, maybe even black? Great work.

[Moser316]

here is my latest version...i'm almost there - i have to confess to cheating a little bit on the eye...i used the "sunburst" effect in psp to give it some depth because i just couldn't get it right otherwise - i had to add a 3rd color to get that brow to work, and i think it added some depth all the way around, as well - thanks for all the c&c and keep it coming - this is easily my best logo (not saying much) and much better than it was to start out

let me know what you think!

Instead of using the sunburst effect, why don't you try to make the lighting effect as abstract as possible? Sort of like how the rest of your logo developed.

[nwtrailtrekker]

ditch the tounge, keep the original colors and youre good.

[leggman01]

here it is with some black added instead of the light purple - i'm not a big black fan, but this looks pretty good

i tried to simply replace the light purple with black, and that doesn't work at all for me

i also replaced it with white...not bad

then i flipped it all around...just ok

if this were something the high school decided to do (a longshot), the original color scheme would probably work best as it could be screen printed as a 2 color logo with the light purple a % of the dark, which would make it more practical

i'm going to work on the eye some more...it was better on my original sketch, but just didn't translate when i started working on it in psp

[Ben5]

I like the first of those last 3. I think maybe making the eye a little more stylized would make it mesh better. But it is looking much better now than it did to start with.

[unl22]

I really like the one with the added white. You said you wanted to keep with the two color scheme. Yet, I think just the added white isn't like adding a third color. Just an accent. I mean home basketball uniforms are white, then you add the school's colors. So a little white on the logo is fine.

[unl22]

I was going to also say that I dont think black is the way to go in whatever way you rework the colors in the logo.

[leggman01]

i'm liking the new eye and i think i've settled on this color scheme

here's a helmet possibility

[leggman01]

with wordmark - i chose this font (masque) because i thought the marks on the letters mirrored the "feathers" on the back of the head

[Cola]

Your black options look really cool and would work for the Baltimore Ravens nicely I think. Someone did a uniform concept recently that looked REALLY good with the addition of gold to their color scheme...it would be a great match with this.