tulanebc Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 While browsing bleacherreport.com, I came across this gem of an article. If there were any more sports-related truths in this world, I haven't read them yet. When I worked for KETK-TV here in Tyler 2 years ago, our sportscaster Danny Elsner used to keep a rubber band around his wrist and snap it on himself whenever he started using cliches in writing his scripts. That takes some doing to not become another ESPN related sports drone. Take a gander at this page, you might get a chuckle like I did. CLick here for the truth. If you inherit Randy Johnson's facial genes, he owes you $97,000 at the very least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jigga Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Since all we're supposed to talk about is Brat Favre, these two fit really well:4) ?This QB is a real gunslinger.?I?m pretty sure that?s illegal. Billy Blanks tried that in the beginning of The Last Boy Scout, and even though he scored I?m pretty sure there was a flag or two on the play. Unless, of course, the game was played at Auburn.1) ?That guy?s a throwback.?Usually referred to when talking about slow white guys who try really hard. You know, the kind of guy that ?brings his lunch pail? to work every day. I promise you, this guy is not a throwback unless he plays without a facemask, protective padding, and with a half-torn ACL. If this guy makes it to the NFL and accepts a 1970s NFL salary, then fine, that guy can be a throwback. On January 16, 2013 at 3:49 PM, NJTank said: Btw this is old hat for Notre Dame. Knits Rockne made up George Tip's death bed speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infrared41 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 This game was closer (not as close) as the score would indicate.In other words, we tried to keep you interested in a blowout or an error filled snoozefest that ended with a score of 17-7.(Insert QB here) job is to manage the game etc. In other words, this QB is the best they could come up with. He sucks so the coaches won't let him do much.They're playing with a lot of (without much) emotion.In other words, those guys are really hamming it up after every play or those guys aren't hamming it up much after every play (insert player here) is very athletic. You think? He's only playing NFL Football. My guess is he needed to be fairly "athletic" just to get here. I'm going to stop there. Football announcing is nothing but a bunch of overstatements and bad cliches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeytonManningRocks Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Here's one cliche that annoys me...(Player X) is "just a winner" - just an excuse for a bad player (usually a QB) that gets carried by a good team. See Young, Vince.(Team X) "just knows how to win". - I think every team "knows how to win", but not every team is equal in talent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulanebc Posted August 7, 2008 Author Share Posted August 7, 2008 (Insert player here) cannot be stopped, he can only hope to be contained!- Is said player a virus that needs to be quarantined? Some type of e-bola or hepatitis?(Insert player here) shows up every game ready to play!- As opposed to those players that aren't ready to play. The whole week of film study and preparation and practice and pep talks and game planning was only for the players that were ready to play. The others weren't even paying attention. How stupid is this? every player from the 1st team to the practice squad is READY TO PLAY. THAT'S WHY YOU PRACTICE! THAT'S WHY YOU LIFT ALL THOSE WEIGHTS! THAT'S WHY YOU GO THROUGH ALL THIS S**T!Parcells was at least good for quotes. If you inherit Randy Johnson's facial genes, he owes you $97,000 at the very least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sc49erfan15 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 1) ?That guy?s a throwback.?Usually referred to when talking about slow white guys who try really hard. You know, the kind of guy that ?brings his lunch pail? to work every day. I promise you, this guy is not a throwback unless he plays without a facemask, protective padding, and with a half-torn ACL. If this guy makes it to the NFL and accepts a 1970s NFL salary, then fine, that guy can be a throwback.Man. At my 9th grade basketball awards banquet (read: participation trophy pick-up) my coach, in his 2-3 sentences about each player, described me as a "real throwback player" and "someone who really puts forth a lot of effort."Now I know what he really meant. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy B Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 (Insert player here) shows up every game ready to play!- As opposed to those players that aren't ready to play. The whole week of film study and preparation and practice and pep talks and game planning was only for the players that were ready to play. The others weren't even paying attention. How stupid is this? every player from the 1st team to the practice squad is READY TO PLAY. THAT'S WHY YOU PRACTICE! THAT'S WHY YOU LIFT ALL THOSE WEIGHTS! THAT'S WHY YOU GO THROUGH ALL THIS S**T!This paragraph is entirely true, for everyone except Rex Grossman on New Year's Eve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still MIGHTY Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Football is a game of inches...yes... 3600 inches... or 100 yards... because that's whats on the field | ANA | LAA | LAR | LAL | ASU | CSULB | USMNT | USWNT | LAFC | OCSC | MAN UTD | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winters in buffalo Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 "XX yards to paydirt." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infrared41 Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 (Insert player here) shows up every game ready to play!And of course the other version...They came to play today. As opposed to what? Did they show expecting to debate philosophy but ended up stuck playing football instead? He has "game speed." In other words, he just out ran someone who you had spent the whole game telling us was really fast. In short, the fundamental guy may have just out run the athletic guy. (For an explanation read on)It's decision time for (insert coach here.)Because every other play up to this point had been pulled from a hat? Or were the coaches simply saying what the let's just flip to a random page in the playbook and see what happens.And finally...(in case you have never picked up on this)He's very athletic...That means he's black.He is a very fundamentally sound player...That means he's white. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee. Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Team X didn't win this game, Team Y lost it.You're talking in circles, Yoda. One team wins, one team loses. We're not kids, and not everybody is getting a ribbon. Quit making fans of bad teams feel better about their pointless existences and fancies. Welcome to DrunjFlix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEAD! Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Here's one that annoys me:18) ?The other team just wanted it more.?It?s a shame that we practice football skills. We should practice ?wanting? skills if that?s what determines the outcome of a game. I think the height of my ?wanting? career was back when I was about 11 and wanted an ice cream sandwich three days before the Schwan?s guy was supposed to come by. That was a long three days?but I assure you, I wanted it more than most.In fact, now is a great time to pay homage to the best ?wanter? of all time?Little Ralphie Parker back in the 1940s. That dude wanted a Red Rider BB Gun really bad. If there was a Hall of Fame for wanting, Ralphie would be the very first inductee despite shooting his eye out.Yeah... well, I wanted Adriana Lima, but I guess Marko Jarić wanted her more.... I saw, I came, I left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infrared41 Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Here's one that annoys me:18) ?The other team just wanted it more.?It?s a shame that we practice football skills. We should practice ?wanting? skills if that?s what determines the outcome of a game. I think the height of my ?wanting? career was back when I was about 11 and wanted an ice cream sandwich three days before the Schwan?s guy was supposed to come by. That was a long three days?but I assure you, I wanted it more than most.In fact, now is a great time to pay homage to the best ?wanter? of all time?Little Ralphie Parker back in the 1940s. That dude wanted a Red Rider BB Gun really bad. If there was a Hall of Fame for wanting, Ralphie would be the very first inductee despite shooting his eye out.Yeah... well, I wanted Adriana Lima, but I guess Marko Jarić wanted her more....Thanks. I've never seen that movie and now it's ruined for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckymack Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 '(X Player)'s got half-a-step on (Y Player).'What the hell does that even mean?! Isn't every step a human makes, no matter how small, a complete and whole step?!'(Z Player) has got great hands.'As opposed to bad hands? I can't catch very well, but my hands have all five phelanges and I consider them to be very good hands. Best I've ever had, in fact. They really come in handy whenever I want to grab something or type this very statement. Sigs are for sissies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMMF Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 '(X Player)'s got half-a-step on (Y Player).'What the hell does that even mean?! Isn't every step a human makes, no matter how small, a complete and whole step?!'(Z Player) has got great hands.'As opposed to bad hands? I can't catch very well, but my hands have all five phelanges and I consider them to be very good hands. Best I've ever had, in fact. They really come in handy whenever I want to grab something or type this very statement.But not spelling, apparently. Phalanges.And there are 14 per hand. Otherwise, way to be with the reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckymack Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 ...And that's why you're a tool... Sigs are for sissies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamdawg1 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 To me, the most annoying phrase (to the point of being offensive.) is use of the word "Warrior" when describing a player. I'm sorry; but to me, it cheapens the word. My definition of a Warrior is someone who is/was in the Military. I've always felt that "Gladiator" was more accurate. George Ashburn - My Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mania Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 He's very athletic...That means he's black.He is a very fundamentally sound player...That means he's white.The sport's announcer's other favorite word for white players..."scrappy".Every player who has ever been called scrappy by a play by play announcer or analyst is white. Off The Top Rope: A Pro Wrestling Podcast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Admiral Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Jose Reyes is kinda scrappy, though. ♫ oh yeah, board goes on, long after the thrill of postin' is gone ♫ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TFoA Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 He's very athletic...That means he's black.He is a very fundamentally sound player...That means he's white.The sport's announcer's other favorite word for white players..."scrappy".Every player who has ever been called scrappy by a play by play announcer or analyst is white.Relevent to the discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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