Green Bay Gamblers viciously assault defenseless bat

[Viper]

Just throw a towel at the thing. It'll fall to the ice and be immobolized. Then you can wrap the bat up in the towel and you can bring it outside where the bat can fly away. No need to butcher the poor thing with a hockey stick. That's pretty barbaric.

What was the temperature in Green Bay on Tuesday night? If it was below zero Fahrenheit like it was 250 miles to the west in the Twin Cities, releasing the bat outdoors wouldn't have done it very much good.

[BigMac12]

I think the most obvious question is "How did a bat get inside the arena?" I though bats were nocternal creatures and try to avoid light.

[infrared41]

I guess you could say they scored a bat trick!

Mark it down. On December 16th at 5:24 local time The Admiral wrote a post that finally won him the praise and recognition he's been looking for.

Congrats Admiral. You have won the "Worst attempt at humor" post of the decade.

[FiddySicks]

That's just sad and wrong. I hope Peta gets on the Gambler's case not just about the attack about the arena's condition and age.

It's just sickening

PUNCTUATION. LEARN IT.

These are KIDS, who REACTED to a :censored:ing BAT flying around the rink. Did they do it right? Probably not, but for you to get on your stepladder to assume your position on that moral high horse over this is pretty silly.

Tell you what, go home tonight and see what you do if a bat starts flying around your living room. If you do anything but swat at it, even as you're trying to have a calm, heartfelt, deliberate conversation with it about its motives about its current location, I'll give you a medal.

I've had bats in my house several times, and the key to actually catching them is to NOT run around flailing at it and screaming like a little girl. All that's gonna do is scare it even more and make it that much harder to catch. Throw a towel on it, get it off the ice, and call animal control. It may be a bit more time-consuming, but we wouldn't have a video of hockey players attempting to slash a small, scared creature harder than they would most other players. Overall, it is just barbaric and kind of hurts your image. Plus, if Randy Johnson can face scrutiny for this then there's no doubt that this team is gonna have to face at least some type of negative reaction.

[The_Admiral]

The medium is the message: by manipulating various aspects of my posts, like attention to punctuation, or font size, or color, or what have you, I try (and evidently fail) to bring my messageboarding to another level. By posting in big can't-miss letters, I purposely drew attention to my stupid sub-Quadivalian pun, as if to convey a grossly misguided sense of pride in my wit. Just as capital letters are read as shouting, 24-point type is similarly loud (though easier to parse than all caps), as if I'm shouting to ascertain that my joke is heard by all. Of course, anyone who was so stupid as to think that the "bat trick" wordplay was intrinsically hilarious without the layers of self-awareness would be too stupid to figure out how bulletin board tags work, so it wouldn't have been Lameless Writ Large in the first place had it been a wholly earnest attempt at humor. Another instance of recent vintage, like today I guess it was, was when I said something about Chris Henry not being dead till it was on Wikipedia, which is not only a fallacious means of verification given the nature of Wikipedia, but also written without capitalization/period, momentarily taking on the guise of someone who didn't know how to render a basic complete sentence, likely the same type of mook who would proudly rely on Wikipedia for current events. I'm not a complete idiot. I'm actually kind of smart. There's more to classclowning and attentionwhoring than the most basic face-value rabblerousing if you're any damn good at your craft; God knows I've been doing it enough through middle school/high school/(college hiatus)/life to have some sort of idea of what I'm going for. It's a kick in the nuts to have to spell it all out like this. Maybe I should take sports logo discussion seriously after all.

[STL FANATIC]

Don't care about all that, but that spoiler function's pretty rad.

[SenatorJake]

What was the temperature in Green Bay on Tuesday night? If it was below zero Fahrenheit like it was 250 miles to the west in the Twin Cities, releasing the bat outdoors wouldn't have done it very much good.

At the end of the day, it's just a bat. If it dies from exposure, big deal, that's nature's way of thinning out the bat population. However, a bunch of kids brutally butchering a bat with sharp sticks is not cool... it's totally uncalled for. I say, let the bat fend for itslef in the frozen tundra. I'm sure the poor bat would find an abandoned cheese warehouse or something. Bats do have fur and should be able to fly around for short periods of time in the winter. If the bat can't find a quiet place to spend the winter, it won't last too long in Wisconsin.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it wouldn't be the first bat to survive the winter.

I guess you could say they scored a rat trick!

You stole John Vanbiesbrouck's joke. Apologize at once!

[IceCap]

Never mind PETA, those players had better hope they don't get paid a visit by the bat's buddies from Transylvania and/or the Twilight saga. Or by Bruce Wayne. ("I don't wear hockey pads!" --Batman, from The Dark Knight)

Joe Chill, equipment manager for Gotham's hockey team.

[Lee.]

Again, you guys are all reacting to this bat thing with the benefit of hindsight and the Google. While you're all sitting around looking up websites and calling Bay Area Animal Control Specialists to see how to handle a bat, these kids just know it's a bat, and are trying to get rid of the damned thing. I'm fairly certain that as soon as one of them delivered that cold, callous, fatal blow to poor little Batty there, the backup goalie didn't come running out of the dressing room with a printout yelling "HAY GUYS JUST THROW A TOWEL ON IT AND IT'LL ST oh hey."

[DelayedPenalty]

My link button doesn't seem to be working...anywho, Puck Daddy just posted another article, and surprise surprise, PETA is upset!

[crashcarson15]

Just throw a towel at the thing. It'll fall to the ice and be immobolized. Then you can wrap the bat up in the towel and you can bring it outside where the bat can fly away. No need to butcher the poor thing with a hockey stick. That's pretty barbaric.

What was the temperature in Green Bay on Tuesday night? If it was below zero Fahrenheit like it was 250 miles to the west in the Twin Cities, releasing the bat outdoors wouldn't have done it very much good.

Well, considering how on the newscast it said it was one degree... I'd say it was pretty cold.

[rams80]

Again, you guys are all reacting to this bat thing with the benefit of hindsight and the Google. While you're all sitting around looking up websites and calling Bay Area Animal Control Specialists to see how to handle a bat, these kids just know it's a bat, and are trying to get rid of the damned thing. I'm fairly certain that as soon as one of them delivered that cold, callous, fatal blow to poor little Batty there, the backup goalie didn't come running out of the dressing room with a printout yelling "HAY GUYS JUST THROW A TOWEL ON IT AND IT'LL ST oh hey."

Quiet, we'll have none of your context or plausible explanations here.

[infrared41]

The medium is the message: by manipulating various aspects of my posts, like attention to punctuation, or font size, or color, or what have you, I try (and evidently fail) to bring my messageboarding to another level. By posting in big can't-miss letters, I purposely drew attention to my stupid sub-Quadivalian pun, as if to convey a grossly misguided sense of pride in my wit. Just as capital letters are read as shouting, 24-point type is similarly loud (though easier to parse than all caps), as if I'm shouting to ascertain that my joke is heard by all. Of course, anyone who was so stupid as to think that the "bat trick" wordplay was intrinsically hilarious without the layers of self-awareness would be too stupid to figure out how bulletin board tags work, so it wouldn't have been Lameless Writ Large in the first place had it been a wholly earnest attempt at humor. Another instance of recent vintage, like today I guess it was, was when I said something about Chris Henry not being dead till it was on Wikipedia, which is not only a fallacious means of verification given the nature of Wikipedia, but also written without capitalization/period, momentarily taking on the guise of someone who didn't know how to render a basic complete sentence, likely the same type of mook who would proudly rely on Wikipedia for current events. I'm not a complete idiot. I'm actually kind of smart. There's more to classclowning and attentionwhoring than the most basic face-value rabblerousing if you're any damn good at your craft; God knows I've been doing it enough through middle school/high school/(college hiatus)/life to have some sort of idea of what I'm going for. It's a kick in the nuts to have to spell it all out like this. Maybe I should take sports logo discussion seriously after all.

The wikipedia thing was very funny. At least I thought it was. I knew you weren't actually trying to be funny with the "bat trick." The point, which apparently escaped you, was to reference the Tiger Woods thread where you had said you were, and I'm paraphrasing here, "trying to draw attention to what you thought was your better work" or something to that effect.

Whatever on the rest.

[infrared41]

Don't care about all that, but that spoiler function's pretty rad.

Indeed.

[illwauk]

I can't believe people are seriously getting upset about this... it's just a friggin' bat!!! What were they supposed to do... just let it fly around the arena and potentially harm someone?

[infrared41]

I can't believe people are seriously getting upset about this... it's just a friggin' bat!!! What were they supposed to do... just let it fly around the arena and potentially harm someone?

Not that I care that they killed the bat, but as far as I know bats aren't really that dangerous to people. Only 1% of them actually carry rabies which would be about the worst thing that a bat could do to a person. So the odds of the bat "harming someone" were pretty slim.

But as Lee already stated, most people don't know that much about bats. I live in the country and bats are everywhere so I learned a little about them. They're mostly harmless but it's easy to forget that when you have one flying around your head. One night this past summer I had one follow me around for like 10 minutes. Even though I knew I was in no danger I couldn't help but get a little freaked out by it. He could see (more like sense) me better than I could see him and he kept flying around getting a few feet from my head. It was pretty unnerving.

So they killed this bat. So what. There are plenty more.

I think if people are actually "upset" over it, it's probably got more to do with the overreaction to the bat than the actual incident itself. I guess now people will learn a little about them. The next time the bat may have better luck.

[FiddySicks]

Again, you guys are all reacting to this bat thing with the benefit of hindsight and the Google. While you're all sitting around looking up websites and calling Bay Area Animal Control Specialists to see how to handle a bat, these kids just know it's a bat, and are trying to get rid of the damned thing. I'm fairly certain that as soon as one of them delivered that cold, callous, fatal blow to poor little Batty there, the backup goalie didn't come running out of the dressing room with a printout yelling "HAY GUYS JUST THROW A TOWEL ON IT AND IT'LL ST oh hey."

You shouldn't need an "internet printout" to tell you not to thrash an innocent creature in front of thousands of fans and AND the media, it should just be common sense.

[IceCap]

Again, you guys are all reacting to this bat thing with the benefit of hindsight and the Google. While you're all sitting around looking up websites and calling Bay Area Animal Control Specialists to see how to handle a bat, these kids just know it's a bat, and are trying to get rid of the damned thing. I'm fairly certain that as soon as one of them delivered that cold, callous, fatal blow to poor little Batty there, the backup goalie didn't come running out of the dressing room with a printout yelling "HAY GUYS JUST THROW A TOWEL ON IT AND IT'LL ST oh hey."

Pretty much. It's a bat. They're kind of off-putting, and playing hockey in a rink one of the last places you would expect to see one. So yeah, they were justified.

[illwauk]

I can't believe people are seriously getting upset about this... it's just a friggin' bat!!! What were they supposed to do... just let it fly around the arena and potentially harm someone?

Not that I care that they killed the bat, but as far as I know bats aren't really that dangerous to people. Only 1% of them actually carry rabies which would be about the worst thing that a bat could do to a person. So the odds of the bat "harming someone" were pretty slim.

But as Lee already stated, most people don't know that much about bats. I live in the country and bats are everywhere so I learned a little about them. They're mostly harmless but it's easy to forget that when you have one flying around your head. One night this past summer I had one follow me around for like 10 minutes. Even though I knew I was in no danger I couldn't help but get a little freaked out by it. He could see (more like sense) me better than I could see him and he kept flying around getting a few feet from my head. It was pretty unnerving.

So they killed this bat. So what. There are plenty more.

I think if people are actually "upset" over it, it's probably got more to do with the overreaction to the bat than the actual incident itself. I guess now people will learn a little about them. The next time the bat may have better luck.

That helps me understand a little. I grew up and live in the city (although my extended fam is straight up country) and all I'd ever heard about bats is that they're supposedly "rats with wings." If I'd been on the ice and the only thing I knew to reference it to is something that is definitely harmful to humans AND had the ability to fly, my instinct would've been to hack & slash too. I don't see why people can't at least understand THAT.

And as its been pointed out, its odds of survival in the frozen tundra weren't much better. Not only was it 1 degree outside, but the area around the Resch isn't exactly full of hidie-holes for bats. It's pretty much the Resch Center, the old arena/expo hall, Lambeau, and a whole lot of parking spaces.

[rams80]

Again, you guys are all reacting to this bat thing with the benefit of hindsight and the Google. While you're all sitting around looking up websites and calling Bay Area Animal Control Specialists to see how to handle a bat, these kids just know it's a bat, and are trying to get rid of the damned thing. I'm fairly certain that as soon as one of them delivered that cold, callous, fatal blow to poor little Batty there, the backup goalie didn't come running out of the dressing room with a printout yelling "HAY GUYS JUST THROW A TOWEL ON IT AND IT'LL ST oh hey."

You shouldn't need an "internet printout" to tell you not to thrash an innocent creature in front of thousands of fans and AND the media, it should just be common sense.

Let's remember the age of the people in question. They are all clearly members of "Team Jacob."