Baseball Returns to Montreal in 2006

[Cujo]

U.S. INVADES CANADA!

In a move that took the entire world by surprise, American President George W. Bush has ordered the invasion of Canada in an effort to secure what military officials are calling potential weapons of mass destruction in Montreal.

"Our available intelligence tells us that there may still be a large number of baseball bats in Olympic Stadium," said Vice President Dick Cheney while speaking to the National Society for the Inane and Stupid.  "These bats could be used by people crossing the border, invading our nation and beating Americans senseless.  This must not be allowed to happen."  Cheney then followed the statement by implying that Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin had a serious flatulence problem...

Upon securing the country, government sources have revealed their plans, among them the relocation of the Ottawa Lynx to Montreal in an effort to put the secured bats to use.  "We intend to impose American traditions such as baseball on the French Canadian population, and as such moving the Ottawa Lynx is a primary goal of what will eventually be our occupation force," explained Lieutenant General Gary "Bat" Guano, who has been put in charge of what is being referred to as the "Canadian Expeditionary Force."

Meanwhile, Canadian patriots are fighting the American military infiltration as best they can...

Democratic party leadership was quick to issue an immediate condemnation of the American action...

When asked for comment, American President George W. Bush gave the following statement to Canadians and Democrats alike...

And in an unrelated story, during a parade today in upstate New York, former U.S. Vice President and parade grand marshal Dan Quayle amuses himself by giving New York Senator Hilary Clinton an impromptu rectal exam.

*sigh*

[slapshot]

I still cannot understand why they would give a team to a city thats lost their franchise twice.

Ironically, isn't that what happened with Washington, D.C.?

[The Green Meanie]

Ironically, isn't that what happened with Washington, D.C.?

Thats who I'm talking about.

[DEAD!]

Ironically, isn't that what happened with Washington, D.C.?

Thats who I'm talking about.

I thought they have lost it THREE times.....

[winghaz]

I just think ther should be seperate leagues for seperate countries, like for Canada it could be CMLB Canadian Major League Baseball. U.S. hockey shoul be AHL American Hockey League and Canada Should be CHL Canadian Hockey League.

[winghaz]

Oops.

In regard to that quote, I sense a way people in this room can come up with Canadian Major League Baseball (for lack of a different name) teams, team name, logos and uniforms.

[Gordie]

U.S. INVADES CANADA!

In a move that took the entire world by surprise, American President George W. Bush has ordered the invasion of Canada in an effort to secure what military officials are calling potential weapons of mass destruction in Montreal.

"Our available intelligence tells us that there may still be a large number of baseball bats in Olympic Stadium," said Vice President Dick Cheney while speaking to the National Society for the Inane and Stupid.  "These bats could be used by people crossing the border, invading our nation and beating Americans senseless.  This must not be allowed to happen."  Cheney then followed the statement by implying that Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin had a serious flatulence problem...

Upon securing the country, government sources have revealed their plans, among them the relocation of the Ottawa Lynx to Montreal in an effort to put the secured bats to use.  "We intend to impose American traditions such as baseball on the French Canadian population, and as such moving the Ottawa Lynx is a primary goal of what will eventually be our occupation force," explained Lieutenant General Gary "Bat" Guano, who has been put in charge of what is being referred to as the "Canadian Expeditionary Force."

Meanwhile, Canadian patriots are fighting the American military infiltration as best they can...

Democratic party leadership was quick to issue an immediate condemnation of the American action...

When asked for comment, American President George W. Bush gave the following statement to Canadians and Democrats alike...

And in an unrelated story, during a parade today in upstate New York, former U.S. Vice President and parade grand marshal Dan Quayle amuses himself by giving New York Senator Hilary Clinton an impromptu rectal exam.

Newsflash : No bats Found in Montreal

They were there last year when our inspection agency, ESPN, last checked, insists Condoleeza Rice

In a non-related story, Canadian Government officials celebrated the acceleration of bat production in Ottawa.

Sam Holman's maple 'Sambats' are being issued to militia groups patrolling the U.S. border in an effort to prevent Americans from crossing the border and stocking up on cheap prescription medicines. Donald McNaughton, leader of the 'Loyalist Project', proclaims "If it comes to blows, we'll crack their weaker ash bats to splinters. They might get more broken-bat singles, but when it comes to hitting dingers, nothing packs the power of maple, and we expect the scoreboard will reflect that in the end."

Tank's right, we have a modern 10,000 seat stadium in Ottawa.

However, not enough of those seats have been occupied lately, so it's entirely possible that we'll lose our AAA baseball team in the near future.

On a side note, those maple bats are very popular among professional baseball players because they're denser than ash and more durable. The dark bat in the picture was made for Barry Bonds.

[Sabrejeff]

Every year since I can remember, I hear about the Ottawa Lynx "definitely moving before next season." Then next season comes along and lo and behold the Lynx are still in Ottawa.

[-Helix-]

Wow, Washington lost their team back in 1971. They'll never be able to support a team ever again.

I find it kind of funny that the Canadians use every arguement in the book to fight hockey in the south, yet use the opposite arguements to keep Baseball in the north.

Nationalists piss me off. (No offense to the smarter Canadians, though)

[BaltimoreFan]

I haven't heard that the Lynx are moving to Montreal. I have heard rumors though that they will move closer to the Orioles. Places like Richmond, is where I've heard.

[NJTank]

Richmond has a AAA team for the Braves.

[BaltimoreFan]

Richmond has a AAA team for the Braves.

Ok, I didn't realize that, but I did here a rumor about Richmond. Whenever I hear about the Lynx moving it always somewhere within, VA or WV.

[Brian in Boston]

Actually, the talk has been that the Triple-A Lynx would be moved to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, with the current Double-A Senators moving to an undetermined location. There's been some speculation that the Senators could be moved to Allentown... if that city's ballpark plans ever come to fruition.

[CC97]

I find it kind of funny that the Canadians use every arguement in the book to fight hockey in the south, yet use the opposite arguements to keep Baseball in the north.

Nationalists piss me off. (No offense to the smarter Canadians, though)

The situation is nowhere near the same -- we have what? 1 baseball team left in Canada, compared to 29 american franchises.

There are more southern US hockey teams than Canadian hockey teams -- that's what's frusterating

[BaltimoreFan]

There are more southern US hockey teams than Canadian hockey teams -- that's what's frusterating

Yeah, I'm not a huge hockey fan but it always bothered me when a team moved to a warm weather city. I'd prefer if all the teams were in Canand or Northern USA. Places were it actually gets cold.

[GeorgesL]

I heard some rumors that the Ottowa Lynx, the one time AAA farm team to the Expos, will move to Montreal for the 2006 season and be renamed the Royales.

Any truth to the rumor?

As a Montreal fan, I'll take them!