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Blood Alcohol Content and Uniform Numbers


MarkAtnip

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Posted

My friends,

Part of me hates to burden you with this, however a friend of mine and I had a discussion about athletes and their drug/alcohol habits after hearing that Good Ol Mr. Williams has been suspended for a year by the NFL. During the discussion we were attempting to come up with ways to punish athletes for thier misdeeds and we came up with:

Make any athlete that is convicted of DUI wear his Blood Alcohol Content % on his uniform for one year.

That's right, take his BAC and round it off then remove the decimal point. (we thought that leaving the decimal point would just be TOO brutal) I know this would cause some players to be out of thier "uniform number window" for certain leagues, but it would be a subtle but very public way of reminding people to think twice.

Imagine :

Jeff Garcia wearing #24 (after blowing a .237)

Former Bears QB Jim McMahon wearing number 26

Jets Lineman John Abaraham wearing 26 (that number would stand out on a lineman)

The lucky man would be Charles Woodson who would be allowed to keep his current number - 24

And the champion... Former RedWings and Blackhawks right wing Bob Probert wearing number 31!

By the way, does the NFL allow you to get current players names with different numbers? In other words could you order a Steve McNair Titans jersey with number 17 or 18? (depending on which test you think was most accurate) They banned the Falcons "MEXICO" jerseys, so I was just curious. By the way, for McNair I think I would keep the decimal point. Neither one of us can stand Err McNair

Oh, and no we were not intoxicated when thinking about this :)

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Posted

How the hell is Probert still alive after blowing a .31? :blink: Hell, Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham died at .40 when he couldn't wake up while choking on vomit...not his own vomit. (sorry, lame Spinal Tap joke)

I think a better idea would be to put stickers on a player's helmet, like what they do in the NCAA...only instead of team stickers, they would have a sticker of a whiskey bottle for every DUI, a pot leaf for every drug arrest, and a handcuffs sticker for every domestic abuse arrest.

Ricky Williams' helmet would be covered in pot stickers! B)

NorthernColFightingWhites4.GIF
Posted

I'm just trying to fathom how you know what alcohol percent they blew/why you would even research that. And whether that makes you a unique fan of sports with a crazy memory, or a total weirdo. ^_^

But it is pretty clever.

Posted

I remember seeing a Steve Belisari jersey (the OSU QB before Krenzel) around Columbus that had been altered to read ".8" rather than his usual "8" back when he got picked up for DUI.

Posted

I always thought those buckeye stickers on the Ohio State helmets looked a lot like pot. Maybe the 'Fins could order some in green for the 2007 season. :D

pissinonbobsmall.jpg

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

P. J. O'Rourke

Posted

Well this is indeed fun for those that have taken it in the spirit that it was intended. : )

The idea of helmet sticker for each offense is great! Should have thought of that one. For the record, I myself love potstickers lol

The "hall of shame" for this topic was researched (if you want to call it that) on Badjocks.com. It's an interesting visit about once every 6 months or so.

Just a quick note... not only was Bob Probert alive when he blew a .31, but he was DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE.

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Posted
Just a quick note... not only was Bob Probert alive when he blew a .31, but he was DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE.

You know you're a college student when....

The first thought that comes to your mind is "Wow, that's really stupid of him" and thought #1A is "...but man, he is a CHAMP!"

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