JerseyJimmy

2022 was the first time in the 140-year history of the San Francisco Giants organization that they finished with a .500 record. how.

at a certain point, crying to the umps about the possibility of Musgrove using sticky stuff is just pointless bitching. you got one-hit in an elimination game and let something called a Trent Grisham dogwalk you. the Phillies, who fell ass-backward into the playoffs, progressed farther than you. you led the season series against Atlanta 8-4, lost the tiebreaker, and then finished with an identical record. 10.5. there's a difference between an underdog and a loser. the Padres and Mariners are underdogs because despite all the losing, they're actually likeable. the Mets are genuinely the most pathetic franchise in baseball. really, Tank is a perfect embodiment of them. except considering Tank is also a Devils fan he's seen way more winning in his life than we give him credit for lmao I'd love to see the Padres win it all if they can get past LA. San Diego deserves a winner.

oh this ROCKS. only thing I'd change is the jersey wordmark being "seattle" instead, but other than that, this is one of the best takes on '00s pipingspam I've seen.

I would much rather watch the Phillies make a deep run than the Braves. like I said before, Philly is a city I actually respect. yeah idk if you noticed this but a lot of my feelings on some teams are dictated by what city/region they represent

I sure do love being a fan of, without question, the worst 6-0 team in the nation. : )

Mariners I love you. I know you probably won't but please beat Houston, it'd be the funniest sh-t in the world. also J-Rod's a lock for AL ROTY, right?

will we be a cup contender? will we be a basement-dwelling tire fire? nobody knows! experience the glory of Islanders Hockey™!

hey, you get to be the answer to the "who was the worst 100-win team in major league history" trivia question! that's something! honestly, I think I'm done. if nobody on this team is going to even bother trying, then I really don't care. you wasted five or six months of my life I could've spent... I don't know, playing all those video games I've been meaning to get to or something, and all we're getting out of it is a Michael Bay-directed reboot of 2007. except this time instead of the beneficiaries being Philadelphians, who I actually like, instead it's a bunch of petulant white-flighters with a victim complex almost as large as their number of division titles. I don't know what I'll do after this season. maybe I'll go back to being a Yankees fan like when I was a kid, before I decided to be a contrarian asshat about everything. maybe I'll jump on the Seattle bandwagon. but for my own sake, I don't think it's safe for me to continue down this road. I feel like I'll just end up as Tank without the Barstool money.

at the very least, don't lose to san diego. and especially do not lose to atlanta in the NLC- why am I even putting it out there.

I am proud to announce CJ Beasley has unlocked the moon gravity cheat

>Arlington Renegades - nothing was wrong with using dallas, I assure you. anybody here from DFW, especially fort worth, please tell me if this actually matters to you >Orlando Guardians - ha ha ha this sucks man >San Antonio Brahmas - now THIS one's good. thanks dwayne. >Seattle Sea Dragons - it's alright, imo it works better than just dragons on its own did, but I really feel like you could do something better here >Vegas Vipers - works significantly better for a vegas team than a tampa team

oh, good, the ACC status quo is back. eat an entire ass.

PUJOLS FVCKIN DID IT

except ads in NASCAR aren't a problem for two reasons: A.) sponsorships actually are the main financial lifeline for almost all race teams B.) unsponsored stock cars look weird as hell; a lot of the time, a sponsor's branding can give a good basis for a memorable car design sports teams both don't need the little boost of revenue a garish corpo stamp on their jerseys gives and have fully-formed, sometimes legendary visual identities of their own. ads on a jersey are far, far more heinous than ads on a race car.

oh wow I didn't expect the jets to win a game until at least mid-october. sweet.

oh, cool, so I'm actually never seeing the mets win a world series am I.

yeah, it's pretty much the perfect alternate. as their regular home set? way too much. a few times a year, though, great way to spice things up. I still think the Hasselbeck/Alexander era was they best they ever looked, though.

it is objectively hilarious that he immediately fixed his interception issues the moment he got LASIK

putting a mismatching ad patch on the Canadiens' sweaters is my 9/11

oh my god the falcons did it again.

can't wait for alabama to do that four more times, worm their way into the playoffs anyway, and win the natty.

only three of the surviving North American pro sports franchises that were active at the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II - the Cleveland Indians/Guardians, Chicago/St. Louis/Phoenix/Arizona Cardinals, and Rochester/Cincinnati/Kansas City-Omaha/Kansas City/Sacramento Royals/Kings - failed to win a single championship during her entire reign. all three, of course, came agonizingly close - the Indians lost two World Series Game 7s in extra innings (and blew a 3-1 lead in the 2007 ALCS), the Cardinals held a lead in Super Bowl XLIII with less than a minute left, and the Kings most likely would've won the 2002 Finals in a just world.

my god, it's actually back.