CS85's NFL Helmet Countdown

[CS85]

I have a few hours to kill, so I've decided to rank the NFL's current helmets from 32 to 1 in order of how interesting, aesthetically pleasing, and generally "that's football right there" the helmets are.  Here are my qualifications:

 

• I have eyes
• and opinions
• and a stable internet connection
• permission to start threads on this forum
• I can type and find images

 

Let's begin.

 

 

32.  NEW YORK JETS:  WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING EITHER

 

For a franchise that's as old as the Jets are, you'd think they would have a few legs to stand on helmet-wise.  Quite the contrary.  This franchise likely spent millions of dollars on research and hiring out design firms only to come to the conclusion that putting a football in front of the word JETS with a black facemask and nothing else was an aesthetics triumph.  In other years, this helmet may have been higher on the list, but this year?  Bad, boring, and lifeless - fits the team perfectly.

 

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31.  ARIZONA CARDINALS:  WE'RE A TWICE-RELOCATED MODERN TRADITIONAL FRANCHISE OR SOMETHING

 

After languishing for years with a timeless Cardinals logo that made the same face I do when filling out my taxes, the Chicago-St. Louis-Arizona Cardinals finally gave their "is that a parking ticket on my windshield?" logo a thicker stroke and proper scowl.  They kept the gray facemasks because, well, they're an old-ass franchise.  Modernizing in every other facet, from uniforms to stadium, they kept the gray facemask and integrated a lot of black because God forbid any other colors but red and white get involved.  This helmet has all the pop and sizzle of a toilet paper streaked with rectal blood.

 

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30.  DETROIT LIONS:  DOES THIS DESIGN MAKE US TIMELESS?  NO?  HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?  NO?  OKAY, WELL

 

It's hard as hell to take a color scheme like silver and royal blue, match it perfectly with the city it represents, and take as generic a sports mascot as a lion and screw it up, but this is the Detroit Lions we're talking about.  They get close, but they keep fiddling.  Black here, stroke changes there, add a stripe, drop a stripe.  The logo continues to be stuck in the middle of "Roaring Angry Lion" and "Mufasa Tiredly Climbs Stairs."  Someday the Lions will get themselves together and at least the helmet will fall into place, but until then they'll have to rely on the bedrock of their color scheme.

 

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29.  TENNESSEE TITANS:  OUR SUPER BOWL ERA IS BEST FORGOTTEN, EMBRACE THE DARKNESS

 

In the wake of inheriting a solid, if not generic, Oilers brand, the Titans revamped things enough to where the helmet, while unfortunately adopting the combover streaks of the era, was otherwise

a tidy white helmet with a solid fiery marble logo.  For whatever reason, they decided against doing anything original with the helmet, using the paint bucket tool to make it "Steve McNair Put His Dick In Crazy" navy, and throwing their artsy energies into doing some weird junk with the shoulders and numerals.  The early 2000's Bills come to mind, in all the worst possible respects.

 

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28.  BALTIMORE RAVENS:  TRAPPED BY SUCCESS IN A PRISON OF FART

 

The Ravens gave up real damn fast on a winged shield which, I confess, sucks, replaced quickly by a bird that appears to be in great haste to find a restroom.  The bird design is wonky enough, but then to slap a B in there graduates it from "what?" to "Jesus."  Throw in yet another 90's combover streak set and you get the helmet design that could've been done in a Madden Custom Team Editor on a 13 year old's PlayStation.  The color scheme is great, but due to two titles, they may be stuck with this for a long time, and for that they must tumble to this lowly place.

 

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27.  CAROLINA PANTHERS:  WE ARE INDEED AN NFL FRANCHISE

 

The Panthers are really the only team in the league that owns the combover streaks, elongating them a bit and giving them a unique taper that stands apart from the pack.  The logo is fine, the color scheme is good, the colors all work.  The name is entirely uninspired, contrived by ownership using buzzwords pulled from car ads torn out of magazines.  It's fine. 

 

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26.  NEW YORK GIANTS:  BIG NAME, TINY LOGO

 

You can't call yourselves the New York Giants, then make your helmet logo an undersized, lowercase pair of initials.  Helmet, colors, facemask, all fine.  Logo?  Not so much.

 

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25.  KANSAS CITY CHIEFS:  NO SIR, THIS IS NOT A UNIVERSITY

 

The KC logo inside the arrowhead drains the color from my cheeks whenever I start to think, "Man, the Chiefs have such a great look."  The iconic arrowhead is ruined by these weirdly-shadowed initials in a font that doesn't show up anywhere else in their brand at all.  It looks like it could be a helmet for a nice high school or low-level college football team.  If it was just a slightly more detailed arrowhead or the KC was done in a black, simple font style, this would be above many on this list.  It's a damn shame.

 

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24.  INDIANAPOLIS COLTS:  GRAY FACEMASKS FOR EVERYONE

Counting on Andrew Luck's pain tolerance didn't work out.  Neither did the woeful decision to employ a gray facemask.  Nowhere else in their brand is gray employed.  They have the perfect logo and a simple, single stripe across the top.  It's so close to being an iconic helmet, all screwed up because they didn't go with a white or blue facemask.  Don't go with a scheme of SOLID COLOR/WHITE if you're just going to throw in a gray facemask because some old half-dead oafs from Baltimore want their tradition respected or something.

 

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23:  TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS:  CTRL+++++, OK LOOKS GREAT

 

This is so frustrating.  The pewter helmet got shinied up a bit and the drab black facemask finally given new life with a steely makeover.  Then they put the logo on there.  And honestly, if the flag was just on one side, this helmet would be a lot higher up my list, but the two obscenely huge swordflags creating a weird horn shape makes this thing a hot damn mess.  Such a unique set of colors, solid logos, and ack, so close.  Fix yourselves, Bucs.  Greatness beckons.

 

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22.  ATLANTA FALCONS:  MOVING ON IS SCARY, MOMMY

 

The Falcons are the class of all-black helmets, and when they bust out their throwbacks, it really shows.  Their current stubbornness to linger in 2004 is baffling, especially considering the man behind the re-energized rebrand of that era went to prison for dogfighting, and they wore those same rags in the most embarrassing Super Bowl loss of all time.  They'll soon become known as the uniform that Matt Ryan squandered his career wearing.  Remember simpler times, and don't you dare bust out the red helmet. 

 

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21.  DENVER BRONCOS:  NAY, NAAAAYY

 

There's no doubt that this helmet, in practice, looks pretty good.  There's also no doubt that this Broncos look is in need of a cleanup.  The pointy, Panthers-esque horse head is for whatever reason trailed by these orange rounded mane globs.  The horse's expression looks exactly like me when I find out how much an ambulance ride costs in the United States.  For as long as this design has lasted, 3 championships to their credit, they could heartily stand to gently reshape the helmet logo to better carve out a rock-solid legacy that will remind people a lot less of the late 90's.

 

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20.  MIAMI DOLPHINS:  MISTAKES WERE MADE

 

You know you've screwed up horribly when you bust out your throwbacks and fans, media, and uniform pundits alike all gasp aloud, like a tar pit survivor's first breath after endless hours of struggling to escape an oily, dark demise.  The "toothpaste" logo and needlessly modified color scheme accompanied a rebrand that will now be remembered exclusively for Ryan Tannehill's weird thumb.  They walked back the color changes and reshaped the font a bit to improve their look, but the helmet is a sad shell of what used to be.  The dolphin's general shape and the sunburst remind us all of better times, and how I desperately want to have the Dolphins take their rightful place higher on this list, but until they put a helmet back onto a cartoon mascot and return to a manner of dignified fun, they'll be mired here in helmet purgatory. 

 

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19.  SEATTLE SEAHAWKS:  WE'LL GET THERE EVENTUALLY

 

Say what you will about the uniforms, loud and Nike-ravaged though they are, but the Seahawks helmet is one of a kind.  The thatched carbon-fiber stripe across the top, however, immediately plummets this helmet from what assuredly would've been top 12 down to 20. 

 

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18.  JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS:  FINALLY OFF THE SAUCE

 

The Jags new logo has grown on me a lot now that they mercy-killed the two-toned helmets that are and always will be an affront to all that is good and right.  We of the uniform republic welcome you back to halls of dignity, Jacksonville.

 

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17.  HOUSTON TEXANS:  GOOD ENOUGH

 

Compared to the clunky uniform starts of expansions in Jacksonville, Carolina, and Baltimore, Houston's brand only made one mistake:  Having a white helmet for a few weeks.  Their logo isn't all that marvelous, as it's angled weirdly ("momentum!").  Would've been better off channeling something static (re:  Chicago Bulls), but at least it's the perfect size for a decal on a helmet that features no other clutter.  Aim for timelessness with the logo, Houston, and we'll get you up the rankings.

 

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16.  CLEVELAND BROWNS:  JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL

While virtually nobody outside of this message board cares about the Browns helmet, facemask, or shades of color, by even mentioning "Cleveland Browns Helmet," I'm guaranteeing this thread 10 pages of frenzied anger-masturbation.  So why is this #17?  I don't like the matte finish, the brown is too dark, the helmet stripe pattern is stupid as hell, and arguably (deep breath), I think a dark gray facemask would vastly improve the helmet's overall look. 

 

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15.  OAKLAND RAIDERS:  THE AUTUMN WIND IS STILL COMING OUT OF RANDOLPH SCOTT'S ASS

 

Randolph Scott? 

*removes cap and sings*  ♫RAN-DOLPH SCOTT!!♪

 

The NFL's informal theme, "Autumn Wind," video game mascot, John Madden, and many a legendary player have come courtesy of the Oakland Raiders, all while they wore the NFL's most notorious and roughshod colors - silver and black.  The helmet and uniform is a lesson in simplicity, but yet....not perfected.  "Just win, baby" has become synonymous with years of losing while drafting fast guys and Jamarcus Russell in the 1st round, and between trading Khalil Mack, dumping Amari Cooper, hiring Jon Gruden for $100 over 10 years, wasting Derek Carr's career, being completely pant-shod over the Antonio Brown saga, and having a GM that looks like Donald Trump's penis.  They're planning on moving to Las Vegas, which is equal parts sensible and stupid, but the helmet has been through all of this, steely and iconic, simple and strong.  Yet at the end of the day it's a shield surrounding a dead actor's winking/farting face, resplendent in a weird hat/helmet thing, with two tiny swords crossed in the background and Stanley Kubrick font saying the name above it all.  It's one of those logos that somehow has endured for so long, inexplicably long, with only a sliver remaining of any success that may have been tied to its utilization in the glory days.  There's something about it, though.  So damned football-y.  Just can't let it go lower than this.  It's important to the sport.  I guess.

 

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14.  BUFFALO BILLS:  MY HUMPS, MY HUMPS, MY LOVELY BISON LUMPS

 

In a similar capacity to the Raiders, there's just something about the Bills uniform and logos that is a vital ingredient to making my NFL season feel fleshed out.  Except for the early 2000s Bills uniform era.  We don't speak of that.  Mercifully a few years ago they came to their senses and re-embraced the white helmet and gray facemask, but unlike the Lions stairmaster mascot, the Bill is arching gloriously around the helmet's side, trailing a red slash that OJ himself would be proud to make.  While indeed the Bison is reaching up on to sniff something on the table or look out the window to see if the mail has arrived, the little thorns of fur give it some direction, some movement.  If the Bills still used their old plain red buffalo silhouette and simplified the center stripe, this sucker would be much higher up the list.

 

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13.  WASHINGTON REDSKINS:  I'M NOT UNCOMFORTABLE, YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE

 

I get that this is a touchy subject, so I'll attempt to be looking at this simply from an aesthetics perspective.  The Redskins colors are amazing as hell, and if their logo and name were less explicitly LOOK WE HAVE AN INDIAN IN OUR NAME AND BRANDING HAHA WE WON'T CHANGE GET TRIGGERED LIBS, I'd outwardly declare myself a pocket supporter of Washington.  While the racial insensitivity of the team's name and logo is hotly debated, most could probably agree that this helmet is a real pleasure to behold (from the eyes of a white cornfed oaf such as myself, anyway).  Go back to the wrapping arrow, you dopes!

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12.  PITTSBURGH STEELERS:  FOOTBALLY AS ALL GETOUT

 

This helmet's logo would be infinitely better if they simply cut out the tiny "Steelers" lettering within the logo, but I get why they keep it.  I love that the logo only adorns one side of the helmet, but this franchise is in desperate need of a return to a gray facemask, if only to match the silver around the logo. 

 

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11.  PHILADELPHIA EAGLES - UNFORTUNATELY MY CLEVER LINE HERE WAS RUINED BY R.KELLY BEING A SERIAL SEX SLAVER

 

So annoying close to being among the untouchable helmets of the NFL.  Black facemask and slightly overcartooned wings tarnish what is one of the all-time great helmets in NFL history.  The shade of green is fantastic (don't throw things at me), but they could stand to refine their helmet wings to be more ornate.  White or silver facemask would help that cause immensely as well. 

 

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10.  SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS:  SAVED BY THE SHELL

 

This helmet is only, and I mean only this far up the list because the metallic gold and red/white center stripe is etched into the annals of NFL legend.  The logo, should you want to call it that, is a nothingburger that has zero identity and serves no purpose beyond reminding everyone where the team used to play.  The golden shell, gray mask, red and bits of black...to me that's football.  Even with that pointless shart splatter on the side, I'd be proud to wear this helmet as a pro NFLer. 

 

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9.  NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS:  #SORRYNOTSORRY

 

Flying Elvis is a much-discussed helmet logo, and I don't necessarily love it, but I...I think it looks cool.  The red flange coming weirdly out of the tail of the tricorn works with the facemask beautifully.  There's no other junk on the helmet, stripes, etc.  Silver, metallic finish, red mask, big flowing ghostly decal, boom.  You've got an excellent, excellent helmet. 

 

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8.  DALLAS COWBOYS:  HOW 'BOUT THEM HELMETS?

 

There's something wonderfully YEAH FOOTBAW about the Cowboys helmets.  It's stupid simple, their logo is a straightup big-ass star, and there's a couple stripes.  No fuss.  The shell's blue-ish tinge is one of a kind, and when you look at the Cowboys helmet, you think of a ton of players, some who you love, most who you hate.  They may be America's .500 franchise, but the helmet is batting 1.000.

 

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7.  NEW ORLEANS SAINTS:  COWBOYS - GOLD EDITION

 

I love this helmet, like the Cowboys, in that there's no obvious indication as to what the team is that wears the dome, but if you know anything about New Orleans, the fleur-de-lis and "Saints" nickname is an homage to the French heritage of the region and jazz heartbeat that made New Orleans New Orleans.  It has aged like a fine wine.

 

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6.  LOS ANGELES CHARGERS:  YOU GOT ZAPPED

 

That gold facemask literally moved the Bolts up several spots out of boldness alone.  The helmet logo is basically perfect....except that I like other ones more.

 

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05.  CINCINNATI BENGALS:  PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT THE REST OF OUR UNIFORM

The Bengals were one of the first teams in football that I was actively drawn to, because nobody else in the league really looks like them.  Iconic to the league, I want the Bengals helmet to be higher on this list, because it's clever, neat, and unique, but all I see when I look at the Bengals helmet is Carson Palmer crumpling into a pile, Marvin Lewis burrowing into the franchise like a tick, and clown-ass uniforms that have not once been worthy of the cool helmet they get to wear.  This helmet already looks amazing, but association with the last 30 years or so has dragged it down a bit.

 

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4.  CHICAGO BEARS:  ASYMMETRICAL AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN GET OUT

 

My dear, dear Bears helmet.  Whether it's in orange bordered by white, a solid wishbone C, or bare-bald-ass with a gray facemask, it's a pretty thing to behold.  It's crooked wishbone is ugly to some, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  It's as old as the game itself, and needs no improvement or modification.

 

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3.  GREEN BAY PACKERS:  BEATING THE BEARS, EVEN ON A BEARS FANS HELMET LIST

 

As much as I hate Aaron Rodgers and the blowhard self-congratulating Packer fandom, their helmet is NFL royalty, and while it pains me to say so, it is a beautiful damned look.

 

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2.  MINNESOTA VIKINGS:  FINALLY GETTING IT RIGHT AND IT WAS WORTH IT

 

The Vikings helmets have been mismatching colors, weirdly facemasked, oddly logoed, and mistreated in tiny ways here and there for a long, long time.  The matte finish on the rich, vibrant purple helmet along with the slightly refined horns is an incredibly pleasure to see fulfilled.  The black facemask is a slight thumbs down, but I feel like it serves the shading on the horns enough to cancel out any itchiness it creates.

 

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1.  LOS ANGELES RAMS - OH ME SO HORNY

 

Their helmet was great with the yellow, but with the white facemask and white horns over a dark navy shell?  You've reached the pinnacle.  It won't get any better than this.   Celebrate accordingly, Rams fans, as who knows what 2020 will bring.

 

 

 

 

[The_Admiral]

Cannot, will not get on board with the white-horned Rams helmet being better than the yellow horns. 

The Bengals, Rams (yellow), and Eagles are my top three. The new Jets helmet is right where it belongs at 32.

[CS85]

Even the previous Jets helmet was ass.  Just not quite as blatantly ass.  Their look was cohesive, however dull.  Now it’s all garbage.  

 

 

[The_Admiral]

The oval with just the NY was the way to go for the Jets. The old logo was a mess. What the new helmet reminds me of is the old conjecture that the new Cardinals helmet would just be the entire bird head with the eyes and mouth as details. Do you remember that? It was ill-advised but kind of interesting. This is that, but not interesting.

 

The Redskins should go back to the spear helmets, which looked really cool. I don't see anything special about their logo and I don't think it's very well done. It's an 1) Indian head, 2) in a circle, 3) in another circle, 4) with a feather hanging from it. It's like a problematic matryoshka. From a distance, it's a splotch. The spear is simple and abstract. It'd be top five if they did.

[sky1324]

Bold move putting the Bucs' dumpster fire above the Panthers. I agree with most of this, but I can't agree with white over yellow for the Rams. Gold/Royal is the pinnacle of color schemes that team will reach, and it should never change. Agree with wanting the Redskins to go back to the spear.

[DG_ThenNowForever]

I enjoyed reading this!

 

My top three:

 

3. Vikings

2. Rams (either is good!)

1. Bears

[LMU]

Outstanding.  Just, outstanding.

 

 

EDIT: The Majestic XII have spoken. 

[CS85]

1 hour ago, the admiral said:

The oval with just the NY was the way to go for the Jets. The old logo was a mess. What the new helmet reminds me of is the old conjecture that the new Cardinals helmet would just be the entire bird head with the eyes and mouth as details. Do you remember that? It was ill-advised but kind of interesting. This is that, but not interesting.

 

The Redskins should go back to the spear helmets, which looked really cool. I don't see anything special about their logo and I don't think it's very well done. It's an 1) Indian head, 2) in a circle, 3) in another circle, 4) with a feather hanging from it. It's like a problematic matryoshka. From a distance, it's a splotch. The spear is simple and abstract. It'd be top five if they did.

 

The spear/arrow/whatever pointy weapon is such an objectively superior helmet.  It's 100% top 5.  I debated the redundancy of their feathers/circle crisis, but the gold facemask swung my votes.

 

1 hour ago, QueenCitySwarm said:

Bold move putting the Bucs' dumpster fire above the Panthers. I agree with most of this, but I can't agree with white over yellow for the Rams. Gold/Royal is the pinnacle of color schemes that team will reach, and it should never change. Agree with wanting the Redskins to go back to the spear.

 

If the Rams go with a yellow horn, I still would've kept 'em top 5 or so.  Just depends on the final product.  The Warner era Vegas gold ram curls, for example, came off as terribly uninteresting IMHO. 

 

The Bucs are so damn close to being incredibly unique.  Pewterish-silver and vivid red look wondrous together, it just needs a sane person to oversee the final product.  The Panthers hurt to put so low, as I've always generally liked their look, but the more I think about them and their real disinterest in forging a unique path for themselves, the more the helmet feels shallow to behold.

 

49 minutes ago, DG_Now said:

I enjoyed reading this!

 

My top three:

 

3. Vikings

2. Rams (either is good!)

1. Bears

 

 

Thanks a ton.  It took way too long (I spent most of the time writing this while waiting in line at Walgreens' pharmacy and on hold with vendors at my job). 

[DC in Da House w/o a Doubt]

Solid rankings -- and I chuckled numerous times.  The taglines are great

[-Akronite-]

Well made post with some opinions I hate. 

 

The Jets new helmet is beautiful. Disliking it I can understand. Anyone putting it at #32 is out of their minds.

 

Keeping the Colts and to a lesser extent the Chiefs that low while the Pats and Rams (much better with either gold IMO) get so high is baffling to me but it's all subjective.

[CS85]

35 minutes ago, -Akronite- said:

The Jets new helmet is beautiful. Disliking it I can understand. Anyone putting it at #32 is out of their minds.

 

[infrared41]

20 hours ago, CS85 said:

 

1.  LOS ANGELES RAMS - OH ME SO HORNY

 

Their helmet was great with the yellow, but with the white facemask and white horns over a dark navy shell?  You've reached the pinnacle.  It won't get any better than this.   Celebrate accordingly, Rams fans, as who knows what 2020 will bring.

 

Preach it, brother! Nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

Also, I strongly second the POTD nod. Outstanding post. It was a joy to read. I should hire you to write my Best and Worst list every week.  I'm not going to get into what I agree or disagree with because, to borrow a quote my esteemed BASS colleague and I used a lot on the show in his tenure,  you, that's why.  (It felt like the right thing to say. Reminded me of what we'd have said on the show if we were discussing this.)

 

Excellent work, Andy. 

[infrared41]

17 hours ago, CS85 said:

The Bucs are so damn close to being incredibly unique. 

 

For whatever it's worth, my friend, something can't be "incredibly unique." It's either unique or it isn't. Hate to use you to go off on one of my biggest nitpicks of late, but I figured better to do so with a friend than start some flame war with a rookie. Lately, it seems like every time I listen to a podcast or watch a sports show, I hear things like "really unique" or "amazingly unique" or (sorry) "incredibly unique." I also see it in a lot of posts around here. Unique is like pregnant, either you are or you're not. 

 

Sorry, man. Had to finally say something to someone about this. 

 

EDIT: A discussion with my better half now has me wondering if I'm right or if it's OK and it's just something that bugs me. Calling @the admiral for a replay review call on this. 

[SFGiants58]

Honestly, the white horns and white mask makes it way worse. They're competing for attention. Gray would be better, as would navy. I'd drop it to the bottom ten for that reason.

 

My top five would be:

 

1. Packers

2. Vikings

3. Patriots

4. Bears

5. Broncos

 

My bottom five are:

 

28. Dolphins

29. Panthers

30. Falcons (red helmets would be better)

31. Buccaneers

32. Washington

[OnWis97]

Like you, I have eyes, opinions, internet, typing ability, and time...

 

 

I am not fond of your choices in the bottom 3.  The Jets is servicable, the Cardinals are middle-of-the-pack, and the Lions are top-10 (in my opinion, of course).  The Lions helmet was definitely better in the Barry Sanders era, but I still love that logo (just needs more white).  Then you get more on track with the Titans, Ravens, and Panthers.

 

On the top, the Rams deserve credit for inventing concept of designing a helmet, but I can't even think to put them near the top until that horn turns yellow.

 

Great commentary and sub-titles (or whatever those are)

 

 

 

My top 5:

1. Bengals.  Used to be "out there" and now it's THE modern classic.

2. Cowboys. Simple and classic.

3. Saints.  Perfect color balance and I'm always drawn to the three-striped look.

4. Lions.  A few tweaks from being #2.Thank goodness their change a few years back did not go to some lame "ferocious" cat head.

5. Packers.  My most hated team.  But the yellow shell, green trim, and traditional striping are just too pretty.  I think they're average below the neck, but the helmets are terrific.

 

 

Notes in the middle.

Colts could make my top 5 with a blue facemask.  Browns brown facemask is miles ahead of white or gray.  Dolphins better now than before.

 

My bottom five 5:

28. Chargers.  Curved bolts...

29. Jags.  Boring.

30. Panthers. Oh good, another cat head logo.

31. Ravens. Take the two-different-shaped B's out of the logo, and this might escape my bottom-5.

32. Bucs.  College.

 

[CS85]

1 hour ago, infrared41 said:

 

Preach it, brother! Nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

Also, I strongly second the POTD nod. Outstanding post. It was a joy to read. I should hire you to write my Best and Worst list every week.  I'm not going to get into what I agree or disagree with because, to borrow a quote my esteemed BASS colleague and I used a lot on the show in his tenure,  you, that's why.  (It felt like the right thing to say. Reminded me of what we'd have said on the show if we were discussing this.)

 

Excellent work, Andy. 

 

Thank you sir!  Your Best and Worst posts inspired my ramblings, so take some credit.  I think there is definitely some room for a BASS reunion show to exclusively hash out a few uniform Top/Bottom 3's or whathaveyou. 

 

56 minutes ago, infrared41 said:

 

For whatever it's worth, my friend, something can't be "incredibly unique." It's either unique or it isn't. Hate to use you to go off on one of my biggest nitpicks of late, but I figured better to do so with a friend than start some flame war with a rookie. Lately, it seems like every time I listen to a podcast or watch a sports show, I hear things like "really unique" or "amazingly unique" or (sorry) "incredibly unique." I also see it in a lot of posts around here. Unique is like pregnant, either you are or you're not. 

 

Sorry, man. Had to finally say something to someone about this. 

 

EDIT: A discussion with my better half now has me wondering if I'm right or if it's OK and it's just something that bugs me. Calling @the admiral for a replay review call on this. 

 

That is grammatically correct, but there's a good handful of other typos and poorly constructed sentences in my original post.  I'lll cite brain rot.

 

52 minutes ago, SFGiants58 said:

30. Falcons (red helmets would be better)

 

 

11 minutes ago, OnWis97 said:

My top 5:

 

2. Cowboys. Simple and classic.

3. Saints.  Perfect color balance and I'm always drawn to the three-striped look.

4. Lions.  A few tweaks from being #2.Thank goodness their change a few years back did not go to some lame "ferocious" cat head.

5. Packers.  My most hated team.  But the yellow shell, green trim, and traditional striping are just too pretty.  I think they're average below the neck, but the helmets are terrific.

 

My bottom five 5:

28. Chargers.  Curved bolts...

29. Jags.  Boring.

 

 

I'd be curious to see your whole ranking.  Part of my frustration while making the OP evident in many of the numbers in each description being mislabeled, was due to how often I re-thought and re-shuffled my ranking based on applying what I liked/disliked from one helmet to the next.  The Chargers I never had in my top 10 until I saw the new helmet with yellow mask and was like, "ya know, this helmet is basically finished," in a positive way.  It just kept moving on up.  Whereas the Eagles, who were much higher, dropped down as I looked closer and closer to the wings on the helmet.  It kept rubbing me the wrong way, and thus tumbled. 

 

 

[SFGiants58]

Come now, this is a fantastic look:

 

 

It's an example of contrasting helmets and jerseys working with white pants. I much prefer the classy red to the "ashes of Andre Rison's home" black/"mourning our QB's victims" black/"28-3" black. They haven't had the same massive chokes and scandals in scarlet shells.

[DC in Da House w/o a Doubt]

Quote

"ashes of Andre Rison's home" black

 

pretty good 

[infrared41]

4 hours ago, SFGiants58 said:

Come now, this is a fantastic look:

 

 

It's an example of contrasting helmets and jerseys working with white pants. I much prefer the classy red to the "ashes of Andre Rison's home" black/"mourning our QB's victims" black/"28-3" black. They haven't had the same massive chokes and scandals in scarlet shells.

 

This, folks, is the only uniform Atlanta should go to when the inevitable change takes place. 

[The_Admiral]

Definitely. Red numbers on the whites, or black? And black pants with white or red socks, or white pants and black socks?