CS85 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 32. Colorado Avalanche: These bottom few teams are saddled with what can be classified as Gas Station Promotional Logos. The Avalanche's puck seen tumbling down the mountainside doesn't instill a sense of heritage, artistic merit, or crafy design. It does, however, encourage me to get a Casey's Pizza and wash it down with a 480 oz. styrofoam cup full of Mountain Dew Icee. ------------------ 31. Carolina Hurricanes: Joining the Avs here in hell, the Bunch of Jerks have the unfortunate duty to wear a red version of Sonic the Hedgehog's spin attack every time they lace up. Knuckles the Echidna likely has a few Canes sweaters hanging up in his basement. ------------------ 30. Columbus Blue Jackets: Stuck somewhere between an All Star Game logo and car wash coupon, there's no salvaging this strange design. Perhaps one day the Beej will adorn themselves in something more dignified, but until then their logo would fit right in being printed on some 4th of July-themed circus tickets. ------------------ 29. Nashville Predators: Woebetide the extinct Sabertooth Tiger, whose likeness has been bent and molested into a bottle opener with a streak of urine splashed across its semi-robotic profile. While an improvement over previous Pred looks, one cannot look at the yawning tiger head and think it's about to ask for a prehistoric manager. ------------------ 28. Dallas Stars: It looks like Staryu. I cannot take a team that wears a pokemon as its crest seriously. ------------------ 27. San Jose Sharks: My poor Sharks. Their initial crest treatment may have been a bit weird on paper, but it looked amazing in execution. Their re-design made their crest into a Fox Kidz Cartoon, and I count down the days until they come to their senses and restore their original look. ------------------ 26. Tampa Bay Lightning: It is the most boring possible look for the thrilling miracle of nature that is a bolt of lightning. Even Skeeter of "Doug" wouldn't be caught dead wearing a Bolts sweater. ------------------ 25. New York Islanders: They paid some guy in the 70's to come up with two letters stirring a streak of vomit with a hockey stick, and it took the franchise over 20 years to come up with a replacement - the toothpaste fisherman goalie - who was so awful that they immediately went back to the puke roundel. ------------------ 24. Seattle Kraken: Minor league look that got fellated for satisfying the unspoken desire of hundreds who secretly lust for the oily tentacle-face of Cthulu to encoil them in an erotic death embrace. ------------------ 23. Anaheim Ducks: While the duckfoot-D is a boring crest, the Ducks get extra points for letting it be a proper size. It's infinitely inferior to the original crossed-sticks Duck mask crest, but they didn't overcook this sucker. ------------------ 22. Washington Capitals: It's not even a crest, so I'll plop it here in the pergatory where it belongs. ------------------ 21. New York Rangers: Also not a crest, but it harkens back to, well, something old. I can't willingly put the Rangers or Caps lower than this, so they can hang out here in the realm of crestless fog. ------------------ 20. Florida Panthers: A franchise that is still trying to figure itself out after many years, they've at least procured a foothold into the realm of okay-ness. ------------------ 19. Vancouver Canucks: The poor Canucks. They have some fairly solid logos afloat in their catalog, and they proudly ride the frozen orca. ------------------ 18. Montreal Canadiens: I get that there's a mountain of history behind this famous crest, but it looks like a horseshoe is pinching a blimp. ------------------ 17. Minnesota Wild: Conceptually the Wild's crest is pretty interesting to look at. There's a fair amount of detail to take in, but in execution it's rather small-ish on their uniforms. There's potential there for this to become more someday, but it hasn't quite translated into a proper crest just yet. ------------------ 16. Los Angeles Kings: Fear the stubby pencil. ------------------ 15. Arizona Coyotes: While the Coyote definitely looks like he just stubbed his toe and is screaming in pain, the crest is absolutely massive on this sucker. There's a few too many elements in play, but on the whole it's a solid, hefty crest. ------------------ 14. Vegas Golden Knights: I like that they didn't go nuts shading the helmet, even if it reminds me a little of the Shredder. ------------------ 13. Winnipeg Jets: A few too many things going on for my liking, but the guts are great. If they drop/simplify the shading on the leaf and jet, this one would be higher (on my list, anyway). ------------------ 12. St. Louis Blues: The winged note is a great logo, but the straight 'feathers' are ruined by some scraggy bits at the bottom that don't make sense. Otherwise this is a fairly timeless crest. ------------------ 11. Calgary Flames: Richard Pryor's least favorite NHL crest, I think the fiery C is well-placed just outside the top 10. Making the fire any longer risks the C becoming smaller, and it's only italicized enough to give it some edge, which makes sense for a team called the Flames. Whatever. I like this crest. ------------------ 10. Ottawa Senators: Before anyone doxxes me to mail bags of feces to my house, this ranking is based on the return of their flat logo. While there are issues, this crest looks right at home on a hockey sweater. They screwed up by making the cape outline gold, but that's an easy fix. There's a great sense of detail here that is visually interesting without having the tang of being over-milleniumed. ------------------ 9. Edmonton Oilers: Roundels are the cats meow, and the Oilers crest has held its post for years now without needless meddling. Changing the cowboy font and oil streaks would somehow feel wrong. It's the blobfish of the NHL crest kingdom - it's odd to behold, but I wouldn't change a thing, as a world without blobfish isn't one I want to live in. ------------------ 8. Boston Bruins: The Bruins crest no doubt is one of the most well-known looks in hockey, if not the Big Four, but I can't put it higher. The story behind it is awesome, with Boston as the 'hub' of the solar system, but in the end it's just a B in front of some lines. Timeless, simple, and elite. ------------------ 7. Buffalo Sabres: While they could make changes in the coming days/weeks that plummets them into the abyss, as it stands the cross-swords narrowly scissoring a charging bison is one of my personal favorites in the league. ------------------ 6. Toronto Maple Leafs: Thanks to a nifty clean up, the Leafs are renewed as one of the league's best, most iconic crests. Their franchise still routinely chokes, but at least they look damn good doing it. ------------------ 5. Philadelphia Flyers: There's something special about the Flyers crest. It's a logo that harkens to an older era of design, but not in a way that's painfully dated. It's simple, it's fun, it's hockey. ------------------ 4. Detroit Red Wings: One of the best logos maybe in all of pro sports, the Red Wings crest deserves no less than a top 5 appearance. If Detroit ever fudged around with making this into a cartoony hack job, we've lost our way as a society and as a species. As a crest I do wish it was a hair larger, but all in all, legendary stuff. ------------------ 3. Pittsburgh Penguins: This crest is absolutely massive, wonderfully cartoonish, and yet ungodly appropriate. It took Pittsburgh way too long to sort out their voyages into the dystopian future before bringing the look back to somewhere comfortable for all. It paid off. ------------------ 2. New Jersey Devils: The Devils logo is, in my mind, one of the most "hockey" emblems I can think of. The rest of the uniform is debatable, but from a crest perspective, the NJ with the horns and tail is hockey. ------------------ 1. Chicago Blackhawks: Commence eye rolls if you must, but there's no better crest in the NHL. The neon Blackhawk is a work of sports logo art that is rivaled by few, if any. Quote "You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke." twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBTV Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 6 hours ago, CherryMX said: 11. Calgary Flames: Richard Pryor's least favorite NHL crest, I think the fiery C is well-placed in the top 10. Making the fire any longer risks the C becoming smaller, and it's only italicized enough to give it some edge, which makes sense for a team called the Flames. Whatever. I like this crest. Top 10 starts at 11 - OITGDNHL. I had no idea how big some of those crests are. I wonder if that's the result of in-arena testing and is legitimately necessary for full legibility, or if it's just that more logo = more "The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnPheitseog Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 I love the list. I especially love lists that I dont know if it is a good thing or a bad thing to be ranked so highly. Formerly known as DiePerske Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CS85 Posted August 11, 2020 Author Share Posted August 11, 2020 1 hour ago, BringBackTheVet said: Top 10 starts at 11 - OITGDNHL. I had no idea how big some of those crests are. I wonder if that's the result of in-arena testing and is legitimately necessary for full legibility, or if it's just that more logo = more Bah, result of re-arranging after second looks. 8 minutes ago, _J_ said: I love the list. I especially love lists that I dont know if it is a good thing or a bad thing to be ranked so highly. Thanks! Quote "You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke." twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan33 Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 I appreciate you having the spaldings to put the overrated Habs logo in its proper place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost316 Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 While I don't agree with all the rankings (NJ & Pitt ahead of Wings??), this is one of the more entertaining and creative critiques that I've read lately. I got a chuckle out of the "blobfish of the NHL" line. Just curious- If the Whalers were still around, where would you hang their hat? This was a good read, Cherry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CS85 Posted August 11, 2020 Author Share Posted August 11, 2020 48 minutes ago, ghost316 said: While I don't agree with all the rankings (NJ & Pitt ahead of Wings??), this is one of the more entertaining and creative critiques that I've read lately. I got a chuckle out of the "blobfish of the NHL" line. Just curious- If the Whalers were still around, where would you hang their hat? This was a good read, Cherry. The Whalers crest would easily be top 10, probably between Philly and Detroit. 1 hour ago, Morgan33 said: I appreciate you having the spaldings to put the overrated Habs logo in its proper place. You bet. I've never been the biggest fan. Quote "You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke." twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YYCB Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 LOVE your descriptions for the bottom feeders. What a fun read and I found myself agreeing with most of your opinions. I hope you do the other major sports next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ridleylash Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 How would you rank the Kachina Coyote if it were the primary? Same with the Nordiques' logo if it were still in use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CS85 Posted August 11, 2020 Author Share Posted August 11, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ridleylash said: Same with the Nordiques' logo if it were still in use. Eh. Never been much of a Nordiques fan. I'd say it'd be between the Islanders and Kraken. 5 minutes ago, Ridleylash said: How would you rank the Kachina Coyote if it were the primary? Probably down a peg or two from their current crest, around the Kings and Wild. Kachina crest is lesser than the sum of its parts, and without all the elements of the Kachina sweater, it doesn't have as much of an impact. Quote "You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke." twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
infrared41 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 The Kings and Knights ranked higher than the Rangers and Habs? Sorry, I can't do a podcast with you any more. That being said, I enjoy your lists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBTV Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 What the hell is the yellow stuff in the chief's hair? "The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CS85 Posted August 13, 2020 Author Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 8:51 PM, BringBackTheVet said: What the hell is the yellow stuff in the chief's hair? Hairpins and product, babay. Quote "You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke." twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlayGloria Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 Blues, Canadians, Rangers are too low. Penguins, Senators, and Sabres too high. Just my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnPheitseog Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 so @CherryMX, how does the new sabres logo change in the rankings? Formerly known as DiePerske Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CS85 Posted August 20, 2020 Author Share Posted August 20, 2020 12 minutes ago, _J_ said: so @CherryMX, how does the new sabres logo change in the rankings? I'd move it up a spot, ahead of the Leafs. 3 hours ago, PlayGloria said: Blues, Canadians, Rangers are too low. Penguins, Senators, and Sabres too high. Just my two cents. Quote "You are nothing more than a small cancer on this message board. You are not entertaining, you are a complete joke." twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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