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Predictions in the World of Sport for the 2006


Alphabet Man

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yeh why not.....

-Socceroos to defeat England in World Cup final, somehow we beat everyone and get there! nah seriously, we'll go down to Italy in the Round of 16

-Melbourne Commonwelath Games to be a massive multi million dollar flop

-The Saints to finally win the AFL flag

-The Sonics to make it to the Western Cofnerence finals in the NBA (yeh well i know they suck but its predictions)

-Australia to reclaim our Ashes urn (well that will be Nov to Jan 07 but we'd have won it by 2006 is out)

-The Patriots to win the SuperBowl...again

-LA Dodgers to make it late into the playoffs

-ABA will expand to a whopping 100 teams, all will fall apart less than half way through there season (whenever there season is)

-Jamaica will win a Gold Medal in the Bobsleigh at the Winter Olympics! (ok i been watching Cool Runnings)

-Grant Hackett wil lreturn from injury better than ever and develope the greatest swimming rivalry with US Michael Phelps

-Only 2 of these predictions will come true, the second and third!

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 - AFC Championship Game

Peyton Manning throws for five touchdowns in a 57-2 beatdown of the New England Patriots. His only blemish is a safety in the first quarter.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Peyton Manning breaks his leg in the shower.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Peyton Manning vows to play in the Superbowl, despite his broken leg.

Sunday, February 5, 2006

With his leg dangling by broken bones, Peyton Manning delivers a heroic 3 touchdown, 398 yard performance. He rushes for 100 yards as well, which is so amazing that John Madden incohernet ramblings become even more incoherent than usual.

Still, the Giants win by 30. As a consolation, Manning gets a kiss from Kenny Chesney.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Eastern Conference beats the Western Conference 198-93 in the NBA All-Star Game. Kobe beats the crap out of Steve Nash in the locker room.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Tony Stewart and Jeff Gordon get into a fight after the Daytona 500. It ends with tears from them both.

Monday, March 27, 2006

During a live edition of SportsCenter, Chris Berman's head explodes. Courageously, he continues on with the episode, delivering material via telekenesis.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

SportsCenter debuts in England. The first feature is "Bloody Good Performance of the Week", which is sponsored by Tampax.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Reggie Bush is selected 32nd overall by the Indianapolis Colts. George W. Bush is selected number 1 overall by the Houston Texans. The mistake is devestating.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Kobe Bryant beats the hell out of Phil Jackson.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

Kobe Bryant attempts to beat the hell out of Shaquille O'Neal, but only succeeds in severely injuring himself.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Johnny Damon hits a walk-off grandslam against the Red Sox. The Pawtucket Red Sox.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Trev Alberts crawls into ESPN's Bristol studios, sobbing and drooling, begging for forgiveness. Managment orders Mark May to put Alberts to sleep.

Sometime in June.

The Stanley Cup Finals register a 56.1 Nielsen rating in the US. Unfortunately ratings are down 87 percent in Canada. The NBA Finals are a huge hit North of the Border, however, as 99.99999 percent of the population watches.

Sometime in October.

The Giants win the World Series, led by Barry Bonds, who led the majors in 2006 with 7 home runs. 461 players were tied for second, with 1.

Sometime in December.

After a long battle with crappiness, the BCS dies at its Brentwood, CA home. Michael Brown is put in charge of creating a new system.

New Years Eve, 2006

Oprah overtakes control of the US government in a bloody coup.

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The World Baseball Classic will be a failure.

Tank it's called predictions, not state what has already happened. :D

Ouch I can see the egg already dripping on Bud Seligs face

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NFL

AFC Championship: Pittsburgh over Jacksonville

NFC Championship: Seattle over New York

SUPER BOWL: Pittsburgh over Seattle

NBA

Western Conference Finals: San Antonio over Los Angeles

Eastern Conference Finals: Detroit over Miami

NBA FINALS: San Antonio over Detroit

NHL

Western Finals: Calgary over Los Angeles

Eastern Finals: Philadelphia over Buffalo

STANLEY CUP FINALS: Calgary over Philadelphia

World Baseball League:

Semi Final 1: USA over Dominican Republic

Semi Final 2: Venezuela over Japan

Final: USA over Venezuela

Winter Olympics:

Medal rankings: 1. Germany, 2. USA, 3. Russia, 4. Norway, 5. Canada

World Soccer Leagues and Cup Competitions

English Premier League: Chelsea takes the title. Sunderland, Birmingham City and Portsmouth are relegated while Reading, Sheffield United and Norwich City are promoted.

German Bundesliga: Surprise...Bayern Munich edges out Hamburg for the points title.

French Ligue 1: Lyon takes it easy

Spanish Primera League: Barcelona edges out Osasuna

Italy Serie A: Juventus wins easy

Argentina: La Plata beats out Boca Juniors

Brazil: Corinthians separates from the pack to win it

Mexican League: Club America wins easy

MLS: In it's first season, Houston wins the west but loses to DC United in the finals.

UEFA Cup: Hamburg defeats AZ

Champions League: Barcelona defeats Juventus

Copa Libertadores: Corinthians beats La Plata

CONCACAF Champions Cup: Deportivo Saprissa over Club America

World Cup

Semi Final 1: Brazil over Portugal

Semi Final 2: England over Argentina

FINAL: Brazil over England

MLB:

NL West Champion: Los Angeles

NL Central Champion: St Louis

NL East Champion: Atlanta

NL Wild Card: New York

AL West Champion: Los Angeles

AL Central Champion: Chicago

AL East Champion: New York

AL Wild Card: Toronto

NLDS1: Los Angeles over Atlanta

NLDS2: St Louis over New York

NLCS: St Louis over Los Angeles

ALDS1: Chicago over Toronto

ALDS2: New York over Los Angeles

ALCS: New York over Chicago

WORLD SERIES: St Louis over New York

really, who knows at this point?

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Eastern Conference beats the Western Conference 198-93 in the NBA All-Star Game. Kobe beats the crap out of Steve Nash in the locker room.

The rate Kobe's "IDIOT METRE" is going up, even though that seems totally unbelievable, and even though Steve Nash is the LAST person you would see to get in a fight, who knows with Kobe "I'm way better than my team" Bryant.

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NFL- Seahawks over Patriots. Seahawks become hated for beating "America's favorite team"

NBA- Sonics make a run near the end of the regular season to win the Northwest division title again. But lose in the 2nd round of the playoffs, again to the Spurs, but this time in 7 games.

MLB- Mariners continue to suck, finishing fourth in the AL West and winning 5 more games than the 2005 season.

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NFL-

With Reggie Bush drafted as the #1 overall pick by the Texans, the management decides that there's only one person who can control a push...that's right. Dick Cheney, the new coach for the Houston Texans! With Karl Rove as the general manager!

The Saints end up with Matt Leinart, yet he suffers not from an injury or youth, rather the sudden shock of going from a Beverly Hills lifestyle to...well...

T.O. joins up with the Dallas Cowboys, where him and Parcells develop the most bi-polar love-hate relationship in sports history. They'll constantly scream and rant at each other, yet T.O. will have a record season and Dallas ends up with the conference. It's like a couple that argues a lot, yet have fantastic...make-up.

Extremely early Dark Horse pick, which I got this year with the Giants...the Tennessee Titans! Trust me, they're probably be the only team left by the start of next season that no one will expect anything good or bad out of them...then bam! A #5 seed and an upset of the NFC East champion Miami.

Super Bowl XLI = Dallas against Cinncinati

NBA-

Tim Duncan barely squuezes into the starting lineup in the All-Star Game, leading to Garnett injuring himself when he punches the team bus...tipping it over.

The very existence of the universe will be threatened, as right before the end of the regular season, Larry Brown and the Knicks are actually *GASPS* eligible for the playoffs. This phenomenom actually causes the earth to enter into a multi-dimensional catastrophe in a fashion like the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Yet all turns out well when Marbury "accidentally" punches Brown, he's ejected and the Knicks lose the game that would've brought them into the playoffs by 50 points. There was much rejoice.

NBA Finals = Spurs against Detroit

Olympics-

...Despite your medals, Canadia, I still feel pity.

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The New York Yankees, victims of their futile tactics of throwing money at mid 30s players while depleting the farm system quicker than Paris Hilton spends money on clothing, will once again fail to win the World Series.

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Gonzaga Bulldogs win the NCAA Championship for Men's basketball. Morrison wins Tournament MVP and National Player of the Year.

The Blazers will make the playoffs being the 8th seed. The seeding will come down to the last game of the season.

Adam Morrison stays for his seniors season.

Texas wins the Rose Bowl. Then they get a bid to play in the national championship after being undefeated again next year.

Vince Young will win what is rightfully his, the Heisman.

Kobe Bryant wil win MVP of the NBA.

WSU will win over half their football games. Seriously, they will.

Reggie Bush will be drafted by the Texans. Matt Leinart will be drafted by the Saints. D'Angelo Williams will be drafted by the 49ers. Seattle will waste another first round pick.

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NFL Playoofs

AFC: Colts over Broncos

NFC: Bears over Seahawks

SB XL: Colts 31, Bears 16

NHL Playoofs

Eastern Conference: Senators over Flyers

Western Conference: Flames over (D)Re(A)d Wings

Stanley Cup Finals: Senators beat flames 4 games to 2

NBA Playoofs

Eastern Conference: Pistons over Cavaliers

Western Conference: Spurs over Clippers

NBA Finals: Spurs sweep Pistons in 4 straight

WBC Championship: United States 7, Puerto Rico 3

MLB Playoofs

ALCS: White Sox over Blue Jays

NLCS: Dodgers over Cardinals

World Series: White Sox beat Dodgers 4 games to 2

NCAA Hoops

Men's Final Four: Gonzaga, Illinois, Memphis, UConn

Championship: UConn 77, Memphis 76

Women's Final Four: Duke, LSU, Ohio State, Tennessee

Championship: Duke 84, Tennessee 79

MLS

Eastern Conference: DC United over Fire...(Not gonna start it.)

Western Conference: Galaxy over Houston What'sTheirNames

MLS Cup: Galaxy 2, DC United nil

World Cup

USA Result: 3rd Place in group E

World Cup Final: Germany 2, Italy nil (Italy though upsets Brazil in Quarters)

Motor Sport

Daytona 500: Jimmie Johnson

Indy 500: Dario Franchitti

24 Hours of LeMans: Audi

Nextel Cup Champion: Carl Edwards

IndyCar Champion: Dan Wheldon

Formula 1 World Driving Champion: Juan Montoya

PGA Tour

Masters: Tiger Woods

US Open: Phil Mickelson

The Open Championship: Adam Scott

PGA Championship: Sergio Garcia

Tennis

Roger Federer wins Grand Slam

Winter Olympics

USA takes Women's Hockey Gold

Slovakia takes Men's Hockey Gold

Germany wins most medals

Boxing

Still overrated

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