No Becks for his first MLS game...?

[Saturn]

Fred can have his MLS, Infrared can have his MLB, and I'll take college football. Deal?

The NFL, NBA, NHL, college basketball, college baseball, Junior hockey, etc. are still available...

I'll take college basketball then. YEAH BABY GO TERPS. But seriously, this thread is about Becks and MLS not why soccer sux. If you can't handle a thread about soccer on the boards (OMG) just walk away from the keyboard. And if it still bothers you go change your tampon and suck it up.

[HedleyLamarr]

Fred can have his MLS, Infrared can have his MLB, and I'll take college football. Deal?

The NFL, NBA, NHL, college basketball, college baseball, Junior hockey, etc. are still available...

Hey buddy, I like my College Football too.

For the record, Florida's batting, what, .889 in the last 18 Cocktail Parties?*

*Also for the record, I put the Gators' chances of repeating at about -13%. Too many losses on the defencive side of the ball. And as long as they beat Tennessee, and most importantly, the Louisiana Agricultural Institute, I'll be just peachy.

This could be one crazy year for the SEC....

But there's no way Tebow nor Beckham survives the defenses of Tennessee, Auburn, LSU, and Georgia during a six-week stretch by running around.....

[FiddySicks]

And as long as they beat Tennessee, and most importantly, the Louisiana Agricultural Institute, I'll be just peachy.

Not even gonna happen.

[infrared41]

First, I posted in this thread because of the swooning you boys are doing over Beckham not because I just wanted to bash soccer. But since you asked, I bash the sport because it sucks. Plain and simple. If that makes me clueless when it comes to soccer then I am in the overwhelming majority of Americans and I am glad to be there. So there were scores that were 2-1 or whatever. That doesn't take away the fact that the game sucks.

(1) Mind showing me where folks were "swooning" in this thread? After a cursory glance, the following sub-threads are at work in this thread:

(i) Discussion over whether Beckham was "washed-up" or not.

(ii) Discussion over the revival of the San Jose Earthquakes.

(iii) Discussion over whether the NASL was the greatest American soccer league in history.

(iv) Some bloke using big words like "hegemons" without anyone noticing.

(v) You bashing soccer.

Nope. No swooning here.

"2-1 or whatever?" Glad you looked at the links.

I didn't just decide that I didn't like soccer. I've watched it in person and as a camera man more times than I care to mention. I've seen enough games to "give it a chance." I went into it with an open mind and after all that I came to the same conclusion... Yup this game truly does suck. Sorry if my "clueless" opinion on the game bothers you so but it's an opinion that was formed out of actually giving the game a chance. It's boring, people try to kill each other over it, and 11 guys can't manage to kick a ball past one guy into an opening the size of a double garage door.

Why of course, what was I thinking? How better to weigh the merits of a sport than to do so whilst watching its minor leagues rather than the best the sport has to offer!

Of course, the classic "HO HO HO, THEY DON"T SCORE IN SOCK-ER! LOLZ!" argument is quite a riot, for various reasons.

(1) The Top 8 Leagues in Europe (England, France, Germany, Holland, Italy, Portugal, Scotland, and Spain) all average out to around 2.55 goals per game, with Holland (2.99) and Germany (2.74) banging on the door of 3.00 goals per game quite hard. (In fact, the Dutch Eerste Divisie weighs in at 3.04 goals per game. Scoring droughts indeed.)

(2) With that said, it is quite rich for a baseball fan to criticize soccer for its lack of scoring when the Nirvana of baseball fans seems to be the 1968 season and accompanying obscenely small ERAs, not to mention the epileptic fits baseball fans go into to describe the joy of seeing a 1-0 baseball game or a No-hitter/ Perfect games, all of which are characterised by their lack of scoring. You can't have your Sugar Busters cookies and eat them too.

Finally, the fans killing each other part has only a minuscule part in the game itself. It has much more to do with the agitative forces of tribalism based on locality (Everton-Liverpool), economic class (AC Milan-Inter Milan), governmental support (Real Madrid-FC Barcelona), religious belief (Celtic-Rangers), or common sense and utter stupidity (The rest of Germany-Bayern Munich) that pervade European and Latin societies. I guess it's just easier to broad brush something rather than actually give a thought about the forces at work.

I'm a sports fan so I am not going to just dismiss the "most popular sport in the world" out of hand. Soccer may be popular worldwide but the reality in America is that people enjoy watching rednecks pummel each other in the UFC, watching bad actors in tights pretend to wrestle, watching cars turn left for three hours, as well as the Big 4 in American sports, more than they like soccer. Twas ever thus...Deal with it.

Getting defencive now aren't we? What, are you scared soccer may bully its way into the sports landscape despite your nebulous objections? As I've stated already in this thread, MLS is in prime position to barge into the American sports consciousness as it is already well-entrenched in the middle class, the portion of the American population professional sports are most concerned with. The Big Three-and-One-Half already know they have the working class pretty much sealed up, but discard them as they provide little financially in comparison to middle class folks, the ones most likely to buy season tickets (Joe Sixpack may go to 1-2 game a year on average), spend hundreds of dollars on fan gear yearly (Joe Sixpack buys a jersey once every 3-4 seasons on average according to sales research), buy premium sports programming (NFL Sunday Ticket subscriber's average salary, according to a 2005 survey? $53,000), and get their company to get the all-important luxury boxes (Something Joe Sixpack's boss only wishes he could afford) teams are looking for.

In addition, whether you like it or not, more and more Americans are dragging themselves out of bed on weekend mornings to their couch or to the local British Isles-themed pub for Ale and Eggs and the Premiership match on Fox Soccer and Setanta than ever before. It's also squarely in ESPN's sights, even as far as broadcasting Euro 2008, putting out feelers for broadcasting the 2011 Copa America instead of GolTV, and the ever-present rumour of ESPN dropping a nearly 1-billion dollar bid for US broadcast rights for the English Premiership when they come up for bid in 2009 (as per rumour section in Sports Business Weekly in February 2007). Yeah, Americans don't like soccer. They're dealing with it as we can see.

Second, I edited that 99.4% line because I had put the word F*%K in the post and it wasn't censored so I thought I'd error on the side of caution and dropped the line. That and I felt there was no need to start a pissing match with a bunch of soccer fans. For the record I pulled the 99.4% number out of thin air. It's called sarcasm. So if you figure out how I came to that number you'll have put more thought into it than I did when I wrote it. Good luck with it and I am glad to see your confident in reaching the conclusion that anyone else would have reached the first time they read the post.

Gordon Bombay: Do you kids know what sarcasm is?

Dave Karp: Nooooooooo.

Gordon Bombay: Thought so.

Finally, yeah all Australians hate baseball. It must be why they play the game there and there are Australians in the major leagues.

Australian baseball players are generally pitchers because of the general similarity between bowling and pitching. However, they get into baseball after failing to be of any use in club-level cricket because of their poor bowling skills. Australian pitchers tend to be fast bowlers who could never get their placement down. Medium-pace bowlers generally do not have the speed to pitch in pro baseball, and don't have the mastery of off-speed pitches to compensate, and Spin bowlers simply lose their advantage in the fact that the ball does not strike the ground before reaching their target.

Oh and for the record, you can in fact drink yourself silly at a baseball game. You should try it sometime...just remember your not at a soccer game so don't start chucking bags of urine and trying to start a riot because your team didn't accidentally score a goal and win the game.

(1) I don't drink.

(2) Why would I spend hard-earned money to a sporting event, and then engage in a drinking binge in which the memory of attending said sporting event is fuzzy at best? If I was only so wealthy as to have money to do such things...

"Baseball is dull only to dull minds." -- Red Barber

Franklin [D. Roosevelt], I am still at a loss as to why you Americans are enthralled with this game named baseball. After all, it is only a several-hour long game of pitch and catch in which batsmen repeatedly fail to interrupt with their bats, much to the bemusement of the throngs of humanity packed in to witness the proceedings.-- Winston Churchill, 1940.

You win Fred. Soccer is great. I can't wait to watch the next match. Thank God there are people like you to save me from myself. And to think I was ready to walk away believing that Soccer fans were a nothing but long winded self-important blow hards who will waste untold hours trying to convince a non fan how great the game is by droning on and on about how soccer is right on the verge of becoming huge in the U.S. Good thing you cleared it up for me. At least you didn't go into some spiel about how Australians only play baseball because of their poor bowling skills. That might have been overkill. So when is the next Real Madrid game?

PS: You really should try a drink. It might fix whatever made your so tight. Take some Midol and relax.

[Fred T. Jane]

Not even gonna happen.

Dunno, the game *is* in Gainesville, after all. Under the Urbal Renewal Plan (tee hee!), the Gators haven't lost at home.

You win Fred. Soccer is great. I can't wait to watch the next match. Thank God there are people like you to save me from myself. And to think I was ready to walk away believing that Soccer fans were a nothing but long winded self-important blow hards who will waste untold hours trying to convince a non fan how great the game is by droning on and on about how soccer is right on the verge of becoming huge in the U.S. Good thing you cleared it up for me. At least you didn't go into some spiel about how Australians only play baseball because of their poor bowling skills. That might have been overkill. So when is the next Real Madrid game?

Oh dear, I've been slayed by your Shinai-like wit and clever use of ceaseless stereotypes. What to do? Oh, and Real open their title defence on 26 August vs. Atlético Madrid, for the record.

PS: You really should try a drink. It might fix whatever made your so tight.

Nah, I don't need a crutch.

Take some Midol and relax.

Sorry, not my time of the month. Besides, it doesn't help with cut down the bloating, obviously...

[infrared41]

Fred can have his MLS, Infrared can have his MLB, and I'll take college football. Deal?

The NFL, NBA, NHL, college basketball, college baseball, Junior hockey, etc. are still available...

I'd take them all over soccer. College Football is actually my favorite sport. Baseball is second. And a bad game in either one is still infinitely better than the finals in the World Riot...errr...I mean World Cup.

[FiddySicks]

First, I posted in this thread because of the swooning you boys are doing over Beckham not because I just wanted to bash soccer. But since you asked, I bash the sport because it sucks. Plain and simple. If that makes me clueless when it comes to soccer then I am in the overwhelming majority of Americans and I am glad to be there. So there were scores that were 2-1 or whatever. That doesn't take away the fact that the game sucks.

(1) Mind showing me where folks were "swooning" in this thread? After a cursory glance, the following sub-threads are at work in this thread:

(i) Discussion over whether Beckham was "washed-up" or not.

(ii) Discussion over the revival of the San Jose Earthquakes.

(iii) Discussion over whether the NASL was the greatest American soccer league in history.

(iv) Some bloke using big words like "hegemons" without anyone noticing.

(v) You bashing soccer.

Nope. No swooning here.

"2-1 or whatever?" Glad you looked at the links.

I didn't just decide that I didn't like soccer. I've watched it in person and as a camera man more times than I care to mention. I've seen enough games to "give it a chance." I went into it with an open mind and after all that I came to the same conclusion... Yup this game truly does suck. Sorry if my "clueless" opinion on the game bothers you so but it's an opinion that was formed out of actually giving the game a chance. It's boring, people try to kill each other over it, and 11 guys can't manage to kick a ball past one guy into an opening the size of a double garage door.

Why of course, what was I thinking? How better to weigh the merits of a sport than to do so whilst watching its minor leagues rather than the best the sport has to offer!

Of course, the classic "HO HO HO, THEY DON"T SCORE IN SOCK-ER! LOLZ!" argument is quite a riot, for various reasons.

(1) The Top 8 Leagues in Europe (England, France, Germany, Holland, Italy, Portugal, Scotland, and Spain) all average out to around 2.55 goals per game, with Holland (2.99) and Germany (2.74) banging on the door of 3.00 goals per game quite hard. (In fact, the Dutch Eerste Divisie weighs in at 3.04 goals per game. Scoring droughts indeed.)

(2) With that said, it is quite rich for a baseball fan to criticize soccer for its lack of scoring when the Nirvana of baseball fans seems to be the 1968 season and accompanying obscenely small ERAs, not to mention the epileptic fits baseball fans go into to describe the joy of seeing a 1-0 baseball game or a No-hitter/ Perfect games, all of which are characterised by their lack of scoring. You can't have your Sugar Busters cookies and eat them too.

Finally, the fans killing each other part has only a minuscule part in the game itself. It has much more to do with the agitative forces of tribalism based on locality (Everton-Liverpool), economic class (AC Milan-Inter Milan), governmental support (Real Madrid-FC Barcelona), religious belief (Celtic-Rangers), or common sense and utter stupidity (The rest of Germany-Bayern Munich) that pervade European and Latin societies. I guess it's just easier to broad brush something rather than actually give a thought about the forces at work.

I'm a sports fan so I am not going to just dismiss the "most popular sport in the world" out of hand. Soccer may be popular worldwide but the reality in America is that people enjoy watching rednecks pummel each other in the UFC, watching bad actors in tights pretend to wrestle, watching cars turn left for three hours, as well as the Big 4 in American sports, more than they like soccer. Twas ever thus...Deal with it.

Getting defencive now aren't we? What, are you scared soccer may bully its way into the sports landscape despite your nebulous objections? As I've stated already in this thread, MLS is in prime position to barge into the American sports consciousness as it is already well-entrenched in the middle class, the portion of the American population professional sports are most concerned with. The Big Three-and-One-Half already know they have the working class pretty much sealed up, but discard them as they provide little financially in comparison to middle class folks, the ones most likely to buy season tickets (Joe Sixpack may go to 1-2 game a year on average), spend hundreds of dollars on fan gear yearly (Joe Sixpack buys a jersey once every 3-4 seasons on average according to sales research), buy premium sports programming (NFL Sunday Ticket subscriber's average salary, according to a 2005 survey? $53,000), and get their company to get the all-important luxury boxes (Something Joe Sixpack's boss only wishes he could afford) teams are looking for.

In addition, whether you like it or not, more and more Americans are dragging themselves out of bed on weekend mornings to their couch or to the local British Isles-themed pub for Ale and Eggs and the Premiership match on Fox Soccer and Setanta than ever before. It's also squarely in ESPN's sights, even as far as broadcasting Euro 2008, putting out feelers for broadcasting the 2011 Copa America instead of GolTV, and the ever-present rumour of ESPN dropping a nearly 1-billion dollar bid for US broadcast rights for the English Premiership when they come up for bid in 2009 (as per rumour section in Sports Business Weekly in February 2007). Yeah, Americans don't like soccer. They're dealing with it as we can see.

Second, I edited that 99.4% line because I had put the word F*%K in the post and it wasn't censored so I thought I'd error on the side of caution and dropped the line. That and I felt there was no need to start a pissing match with a bunch of soccer fans. For the record I pulled the 99.4% number out of thin air. It's called sarcasm. So if you figure out how I came to that number you'll have put more thought into it than I did when I wrote it. Good luck with it and I am glad to see your confident in reaching the conclusion that anyone else would have reached the first time they read the post.

Gordon Bombay: Do you kids know what sarcasm is?

Dave Karp: Nooooooooo.

Gordon Bombay: Thought so.

Finally, yeah all Australians hate baseball. It must be why they play the game there and there are Australians in the major leagues.

Australian baseball players are generally pitchers because of the general similarity between bowling and pitching. However, they get into baseball after failing to be of any use in club-level cricket because of their poor bowling skills. Australian pitchers tend to be fast bowlers who could never get their placement down. Medium-pace bowlers generally do not have the speed to pitch in pro baseball, and don't have the mastery of off-speed pitches to compensate, and Spin bowlers simply lose their advantage in the fact that the ball does not strike the ground before reaching their target.

Oh and for the record, you can in fact drink yourself silly at a baseball game. You should try it sometime...just remember your not at a soccer game so don't start chucking bags of urine and trying to start a riot because your team didn't accidentally score a goal and win the game.

(1) I don't drink.

(2) Why would I spend hard-earned money to a sporting event, and then engage in a drinking binge in which the memory of attending said sporting event is fuzzy at best? If I was only so wealthy as to have money to do such things...

"Baseball is dull only to dull minds." -- Red Barber

Franklin [D. Roosevelt], I am still at a loss as to why you Americans are enthralled with this game named baseball. After all, it is only a several-hour long game of pitch and catch in which batsmen repeatedly fail to interrupt with their bats, much to the bemusement of the throngs of humanity packed in to witness the proceedings.-- Winston Churchill, 1940.

You win Fred. Soccer is great. I can't wait to watch the next match. Thank God there are people like you to save me from myself. And to think I was ready to walk away believing that Soccer fans were a nothing but long winded self-important blow hards who will waste untold hours trying to convince a non fan how great the game is by droning on and on about how soccer is right on the verge of becoming huge in the U.S. Good thing you cleared it up for me. At least you didn't go into some spiel about how Australians only play baseball because of their poor bowling skills. That might have been overkill. So when is the next Real Madrid game?

PS: You really should try a drink. It might fix whatever made your so tight. Take some Midol and relax.

Anyone else see Julia Stiles in Ten Things I Hate About You with that last comment?

Did I just reveal WAY too much about my personal life?..............

[See Red]

"Baseball is dull only to dull minds." -- Red Barber

Franklin [D. Roosevelt], I am still at a loss as to why you Americans are enthralled with this game named baseball. After all, it is only a several-hour long game of pitch and catch in which batsmen repeatedly fail to interrupt with their bats, much to the bemusement of the throngs of humanity packed in to witness the proceedings.-- Winston Churchill, 1940.

For the record, Fred, my comment was in jest. I'm hardly the type to call somebody ignorant for not liking something that I like. While I can see how someone can find baseball boring, I certainly don't. There's so many games within the game, and the play that changes the complexion of the game can happen on any single pitch. In the playoffs, and can be amazing to watch, but so nerve racking. As a Red Sox fan, I've never felt the same way watching another sport or game as I did in the 2003 and 2004 postseasons. So tense. It was... amazing.

I want so badly to love soccer -- but the MLS just doesn't seem at all attractive. I've tried watching -- and I just can't get into it. I want Beckham to help turn this game into something people care about -- I just don't see it happening. People didn't go to the game to watch the Galaxy, they went to the game to watch Beckham. Not because they wanted to see a good soccer game, but because they wanted to be there when Beckham made his debut. I doubt 95% of people there had ever seen him play before. If it was easier to follow the EPL and watch every game of a particular team, I'd be a soccer fan. A big one. Maybe I'd like it as much as I like football and baseball, and more than I like basketball -- in fact, that's the likely case. But watching second rate players and realizing that it's the best this country will see doesn't appeal to me.

[infrared41]

Not even gonna happen.

Dunno, the game *is* in Gainesville, after all. Under the Urbal Renewal Plan (tee hee!), the Gators haven't lost at home.

You win Fred. Soccer is great. I can't wait to watch the next match. Thank God there are people like you to save me from myself. And to think I was ready to walk away believing that Soccer fans were a nothing but long winded self-important blow hards who will waste untold hours trying to convince a non fan how great the game is by droning on and on about how soccer is right on the verge of becoming huge in the U.S. Good thing you cleared it up for me. At least you didn't go into some spiel about how Australians only play baseball because of their poor bowling skills. That might have been overkill. So when is the next Real Madrid game?

Oh dear, I've been slayed by your Shinai-like wit and clever use of ceaseless stereotypes. What to do? Oh, and Real open their title defence on 26 August vs. Atlético Madrid, for the record.

PS: You really should try a drink. It might fix whatever made your so tight.

Nah, I don't need a crutch.

Take some Midol and relax.

Sorry, not my time of the month. Besides, it doesn't help with cut down the bloating, obviously...

Shinai-like wit? Ouch. I know when I'm in over my head. I think I'll move along now. Soccer rules! See you on August 26th!

[-kj]

It's not a matter of you needing to love soccer.

It's a matter of you needing to shut yer yap about it if you don't like it. Why do so many non-fans of soccer feel the need to take so much time to bash the sport? If it's not worth your time to be into it, why is it worth your time to go on and on about why you don't like it? Does it bother you that much that other people might enjoy it?

Dude, I hate golf, for a myriad of reasons. But I don't go jumping into golf threads on here bashing golf, now do I? So what brings you into the soccer thread?

[Jigga]

It's not a matter of you needing to love soccer.

It's a matter of you needing to shut yer yap about it if you don't like it. Why do so many non-fans of soccer feel the need to take so much time to bash the sport? If it's not worth your time to be into it, why is it worth your time to go on and on about why you don't like it? Does it bother you that much that other people might enjoy it?

Dude, I hate golf, for a myriad of reasons. But I don't go jumping into golf threads on here bashing golf, now do I? So what brings you into the soccer thread?

Okay then, now I expect you to spew this same tripe out of your mouth when people start bashing the NBA. For some reason, I don't see that happening. That goodness I'm not holding my breath or anything.

[Sodboy13]

It's not a matter of you needing to love soccer.

It's a matter of you needing to shut yer yap about it if you don't like it. Why do so many non-fans of soccer feel the need to take so much time to bash the sport? If it's not worth your time to be into it, why is it worth your time to go on and on about why you don't like it? Does it bother you that much that other people might enjoy it?

Dude, I hate golf, for a myriad of reasons. But I don't go jumping into golf threads on here bashing golf, now do I? So what brings you into the soccer thread?

Okay then, now I expect you to spew this same tripe out of your mouth when people start bashing the NBA. For some reason, I don't see that happening. That goodness I'm not holding my breath or anything.

Well, there's a difference between not liking the NBA, and not liking basketball in general and presenting yourself as a completely uninformed twit on the subject.

[Jigga]

It's not a matter of you needing to love soccer.

It's a matter of you needing to shut yer yap about it if you don't like it. Why do so many non-fans of soccer feel the need to take so much time to bash the sport? If it's not worth your time to be into it, why is it worth your time to go on and on about why you don't like it? Does it bother you that much that other people might enjoy it?

Dude, I hate golf, for a myriad of reasons. But I don't go jumping into golf threads on here bashing golf, now do I? So what brings you into the soccer thread?

Okay then, now I expect you to spew this same tripe out of your mouth when people start bashing the NBA. For some reason, I don't see that happening. That goodness I'm not holding my breath or anything.

Well, there's a difference between not liking the NBA, and not liking basketball in general and presenting yourself as a completely uninformed twit on the subject.

Not here there isn't

[Fred T. Jane]

For the record, Fred, my comment was in jest. I'm hardly the type to call somebody ignorant for not liking something that I like. While I can see how someone can find baseball boring, I certainly don't. There's so many games within the game, and the play that changes the complexion of the game can happen on any single pitch. In the playoffs, and can be amazing to watch, but so nerve racking. As a Red Sox fan, I've never felt the same way watching another sport or game as I did in the 2003 and 2004 postseasons. So tense. It was... amazing.

Same here. I was just providing a counter quote that I had read in a Churchill biography once. It seems not all of the American genes made its way to him from his mom.

[rams80]

Fred can have his MLS, Infrared can have his MLB, and I'll take college football. Deal?

The NFL, NBA, NHL, college basketball, college baseball, Junior hockey, etc. are still available...

I'll take the NFL, although I'm kind of partial to college football as well.

----------------------------------------------------------

Mockba...I think we need to see a golf thread get started before people can jump in saying that they detest the sport.

----------------------------------------------------

To be honest, soccer isn't my favorite sport, but I do respect both its players and fans.

-------------------------------------------------------

Fred...first off, Winston's mom would have actually needed to spend time with him to activate the American genes.

[MrAsterisk]

I don't care who has MLS, as long as I have the rest of soccer. I would settle for Ligue 1, I suppose.

[-Helix-]

For the record, I don't like basketball.

I just felt I needed to get that off my chest. Phew.

Maybe we should just make this the official bitch thread so people don't go off topic with "omg i h8 (sport)" posts.