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The World's Most Ridiculous Non-Winning/Discarded Sports Team Names


totc

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That was you?! I remember seeing that on a list when they were picking names and I recall making fun of it. There was also "Buckice" and "Mad Cows" on the list. And justice would've been a terrible name, it sounds worse than minor league, like a group of police officers who play in a rec league.

I lived in Columbus at the time the team was gearing up, and I remember the alternative paper was pushing real hard (if in a tongue-in-cheek way) for the Columbus Mad Cows name. (Self-deprecating Columbus residents call the city "Cow Town".)

But I think most people were OK with the "Blue Jackets" name - then we saw the bright green bug logo and wondered if it was some kind of insane joke.

columbusbluejackets2000jd7.gif

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The Houston Texans had these names trademarked, so they considered them:

Houston Texians

Houston Hurricanes

Houston Wildcatters

Houston Roughnecks

Houston Stallions

Houston Stormcats

Houston Wildcats

Houston Challengers

Houston Apollos

Houston Toros

Houston Wranglers

Houston Roustabouts

Houston Colt 45's

Houston Energy

Houston Bobcats

Houston Roughriders

:puke:

That said... am I the only one that's a little disappointed that Roustabouts didn't get picked?

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While it's fresh in my mind...

Who could forget the New Jersey Nets had "New Jersey Swamp Dragons" trademarked and even had a logo ready to go had the NBA allowed it.

I talked to a guy the other day who was actually involved in the creation of this identity. He couldn't remember the exact color scheme, but it had Purple, Mint, Red, Black, Yellow, etc. all in one glorious package.

Just a technicolor pool of vomit.

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My suggestion for the Texans name the team contest was the

Houston WHAPs

as in Houston, We Have A Problems.

That said I voted for Apollos. With a big green Star Trek hand on the helmet.

The Houston Texans had these names trademarked, so they considered them:

Houston Texians

Houston Hurricanes

Houston Wildcatters

Houston Roughnecks

Houston Stallions

Houston Stormcats

Houston Wildcats

Houston Challengers

Houston Apollos

Houston Toros

Houston Wranglers

Houston Roustabouts

Houston Colt 45's

Houston Energy

Houston Bobcats

Houston Roughriders

How about those...

Mets?

Packers?

Rangers?

Knicks?

Titans?

Owner of the New York Night Owls 1999 champions in the All World Football League.

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While it's fresh in my mind...

Who could forget the New Jersey Nets had "New Jersey Swamp Dragons" trademarked and even had a logo ready to go had the NBA allowed it.

I talked to a guy the other day who was actually involved in the creation of this identity. He couldn't remember the exact color scheme, but it had Purple, Mint, Red, Black, Yellow, etc. all in one glorious package.

Just a technicolor pool of vomit.

Could that have been Jon Spoelstra? He's a Portland guy who was working for the Nets, and had this idea of rebranding them the Swamp Dragons. Truth is, I think he had a major hard-on to name any team the "fill in the blank"-Dragons. He's the reason Portland's AFL team was named "Forest Dragons" -- there was no contest to name the team, no rumors on what they might be called. One day it was announced "Forest Dragons". Ugh and sigh.

BTW -- Donovan, I'm loving the Lucky Beaver avatar you're rockin' these days!

4409811293_559b1d05dd_o.jpg

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In the 90s when there were talks regarding moving the Minnesota Timberwolves to New Orleans, the firm I was working for was asked to come up with marketing concepts for the:

Louisiana Purchase

They actually already had a logo complete with $ sign and a primarily green color scheme with purple and yellow secondary colors. Always thought that would have been a great team but, alas, it never happened.

...WHOA, you're telling me the Timberwolves were actually planning to be in New Orleans? I'm amazed I never heard of it.

But what a clunky title, even though it is a bit clever.

Yeah Bob Arum's team. Came close.

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Houston Texians

Houston Hurricanes

Houston Wildcatters

Houston Roughnecks

Houston Stallions

Houston Stormcats

Houston Wildcats

Houston Challengers

Houston Apollos

Houston Toros

Houston Wranglers

Houston Roustabouts

Houston Colt 45's

Houston Energy

Houston Bobcats

Houston Roughriders

I really wish that they'd gone with either the Houston Apollos or the Houston Roughnecks.

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Also my dad tells me a story about the New England Patriots originally being the Bay State Patriots for a few days... anyone else know about this?

When the Boston Patriots made their move to Schaefer Stadium in Foxboro, the team was renamed the Bay State Patriots. However, the name only lasted a month, before someone pointed out to team owner Billy Sullivan that the name could be abbreviated to B.S. Patriots. New England was adopted as the team's place-name shortly thereafter.

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Toronto FC (MLS) was almost Inter Toronto. I think it was registered with Canada's and the States trademark departments. I believe they let the name slip into the public to see what type of response they would get. Needless to say that the football (soccer) fans in the GTA were happy...not. Being a copy of Inter Milan (Italian Serie A) was a slap in the face to those who wanted the old NASL Blizzard name back and an insult to the countless EPL, Serie A (non Inter Milan fans), and Portugese League fans who saw this as just another 'Real Salt Lake' scheme.

The MLSE suits decided to go with Toronto FC. A wise move.

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I think St. Louis had 2 as well the Stallions and the Archers. I always thought the Archers could have been one of he coolest logos ever.

Oh well...

St. Louis Archers?

A logo with that name would've been some guy shooting a bow and arrow with the Gateway Arch serving as a background.

For some reason I envisioned something like this...

centaur.jpg

pissinonbobsmall.jpg

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

P. J. O'Rourke

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The Houston Texans had these names trademarked, so they considered them:

Houston Texians

Houston Hurricanes

Houston Wildcatters

Houston Roughnecks

Houston Stallions

Houston Stormcats

Houston Wildcats

Houston Challengers

Houston Apollos

Houston Toros

Houston Wranglers

Houston Roustabouts

Houston Colt 45's

Houston Energy

Houston Bobcats

Houston Roughriders

:puke:

That said... am I the only one that's a little disappointed that Roustabouts didn't get picked?

I was fond of, and submitted, Jackadaddies.

Welcome to DrunjFlix

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TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

"This name defeated more than 400 entries in a radio-sponsored competition, held one month after Tampa was awarded the first of two expansion franchises on April 24, 1974. Buccaneers was the winner, beating out such noble competitors as Buzzards, Sea Horses and (yes) Mafia."

Contract this...."

251799582_m.jpg

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I think St. Louis had 2 as well the Stallions and the Archers. I always thought the Archers could have been one of he coolest logos ever.

Oh well...

St. Louis Archers?

A logo with that name would've been some guy shooting a bow and arrow with the Gateway Arch serving as a background.

For some reason I envisioned something like this...

centaur.jpg

The Archers could have worked since there were no NFL teams that had a nickname starting with A, except that the league would've made them nix it out of concerns of it rhyming with Chargers.

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I think why Justice was one of the names being considered for the NHL team in Columbus, is because the arena was built over top the old state penitentiary. I remember that some of the names that came up were, Convicts, Cons, Icons. Things that would go with the penitentiary theme.

columbusdestroyersrf6.png

osuzd9.png

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