Which NFL coach is the biggest jackass?

[rainmaker17]

I can't remember a season in which there were so many self-righteous a-holes coaching in this league at the same time. What gives? Is it the fifty post-game press conferences they have to give, is is the new NFL network, low fiber diet?

These observations have little to do with coaching ability, so treat them accordingly.

Main offenders (in no particular order):

BRIAN BILLICK (Ravens) - what a condescending, know-it-all. He's sitting on the mountain top somewhere, shaking his head down at us and his team. He's a genius and we just don't get him. We're all too stupid.

TOM COUGHLIN (Giants) - I'm all for discipline and I can't argue with the record, but If any one needs a dietary change, or a fling with a secretary it's this guy. I think if Coughlin laughed or smiled at anything it would shatter his face. The 'tough guy' act is overdone Tommy. It's the NFL. Everybody is tough on some level or they wouldn't be here.

JON GRUDEN (Bucs) - Mr. visor might be the biggest tool in the whole league. Watch the SB XXXVII video for proof. Gruden is like the undersized frat guy that lowers his voice on a date, starts a fight with somebody, and lets his big brothers clean up the mess.

NICK ZABAN (Dolphins) - What a bad first impression! Sure the 'Fins are playing with a little more fire, but it doesn't excuse you for being a prick. You look bored yet defiant when you are interviewed. No one forced you to do this so wipe that pained, cocky look off your face. Go work on your tan.

worth observation:

SCHOTTENHEIMER, PARCELLS, VERMEIL, GIBBS etc...Old school coaches whose 'old school' tactics either prove to be a welcome refresher to the way things used to be done, or a sad reminder that the game has changed and certain old schoolers refuse to accept it. The jury is still out.

the good news:

BILL COWHER (Steelers) - Probably the best coach in the NFL. Respects the old way and understands the new. Dan Rooney (get out the flamethrowers Pittsburgh fans) is quite possibly the worst owner in the league. Cowher drafts, coaches and develops talent. Every year he loses these same players because cheap-skate Dan won't foot the bill. Remember Greg LLoyd, Chad Brown, Brentson Buckner...? Somehow Cowher keeps the Steelers competative year in and year out. That's a coach.

ANDY REID (Eagles) - I don't know how this guy does it. Injuries left and right, the entire T.O. nonsense, and he doesn't point fingers or make excuses. Four consecutive NFC championships speaks volumes. Down but not out.

TONY DUNGY (Colts) - Maligned as a defense-only coach, who was ran out of Tampa pre-maturely. Dungy inherited a great offense and took decisive steps to improve the defense over the last three years. His hard work has evidentley paid off, and in the years it didn't, Dungy carried himself with quiet focus and class. The tree is bearing fruit now, which should be a lesson to impatient owners. Believe in who you hire and give them time to do what THEY know, stick to your board meetings and stock options...what YOU know.

MARVIN LEWIS (Bengals) - Another example of patience paying off. A defensive-minded coach, like Dungy, who re-enforced a decent D while taking methodical steps to build a fearless O. Does anyone take Cincy lightly now?

too soon to say:

CRENNELL, LOVIE SMITH, (%*$!) ZABAN, NOLAN, HOLMGREN

all above coaches have clearly improved their teams, especially in Chi-town, I'm witholding judgement until '06.

hot seat alert!

who's ass is warmest?:

MARIUCCI

CAPERS

TICE (I know they won, but no one seems to respect him)

SHERMAN

My money is on Dom.

Stuck in Carrollton for the holiday so thank you for your time.

-RM17

[Camden Crazy]

Who is Nick Zaban?

[Cyclopsis Joe]

What about Jim Mora?

[Vertigo]

Mike Sherman is definetly on the hot seat I dont think he will be back next year. Barry Alvarez now there a college coach who should be given a try.

mod edit: image deleted for taste and decency reasons.

[rainmaker17]

What about Jim Mora?

I don't mind Jim Mora Jr. of the Falcons, he seems like a decent guy from what I've seen. His dad was another story. Whiny and combatative. Who can forget "Playoffs?!?...PLAYOFFS?!"?

[quantum]

Mike Sherman is definetly on the hot seat I dont think he will be back next year. Barry Alvarez now there a college coach who should be given a try.

Alvarez is not leaving UW to coach the Packers. And if Sherman is shown the door, his record is too good to not be rehired immediately.

And Vertigo, I find your pic to be in poor taste.

[Jigga]

fluff that plop...Andy Reid IS a prick.

Billick is the biggest jackass of the bunch. Bellichick is an ass, but since he just lost his dad (R.I.P. Mr. Steve Bellichick), I'll refrain from blasting him. Parcells would have been the biggest jackass in my book (stop giving him a pass), but Billick is such a smug S.o.B. that he deserves the title.

[Brass]

Bellichick is an ass

Why? Because he actually wins?

[WSU151]

Belichick is kind of an ass, but at least he's got a sense of humor about him. Case in point - after seeing Vick go from "Probable" to "Questionable" to "Out" in a matter of three days (Wednesday to Saturday), Belichick was so pissed off the league allowed the move that the next week he had 10 of his guys go from "Probable" to "Questionable" to "Out". Gotta like a guy who doesn't mind plopping on the NFL's higher-ups.

[infrared41]

I'm going to say all of them. If there's a more self-centered, self-important, myopic group of people in sports than NFL head coaches, I have yet to run across them. I have always said it takes a special kind of idiot to be an NFL coach. What the hell do these guys do for 20 hours a day? Sorry but every NFL game looks pretty much the same to me. You'd think that with all that "work" they do they would have found a way to be different from everyone else by now. I gotta wonder just what exactly they are hoping to discover by working those ridiculous hours.

That said, if I have to pick just one it's gotta be Bill Parcells. What a sanctimonious jackass.

[EagleFan344]

fluff that plop...Andy Reid IS a prick.

Why is that?

[Cujo]

Bill Parcells. No doubt about it.

This guy is never happy and an ass to everyone. His players, the media. He's like the Bob Knight of football, without the physical abuse he takes out on players of course.

[Cyclopsis Joe]

fluff that plop...Andy Reid IS a prick.

Why is that?

That's a good question.

[Nick 1733]

Hmm, no mention of the second longest current tenured coach in the NFL? Seems odd to me.

[Cujo]

Hmm, no mention of the second longest current tenured coach in the NFL? Seems odd to me.

Jeff Fischer?

[Nick 1733]

Hmm, no mention of the second longest current tenured coach in the NFL? Seems odd to me.

Jeff Fischer?

It's Fisher btw, and for your information, both Fisher and Shanahan are in their 11th years with their respective teams. Cower is the only one that's been with his team longer.

[rainmaker17]

Hmm, no mention of the second longest current tenured coach in the NFL? Seems odd to me.

Yeah, I've got no problem with Fisher. Not a big fan of Shanahan..and I'm not sure why.

[ColeJ]

fisher rules... he's nothing but classy to all of his players. completely respectful. commands respect.

and he's a hoot to watch. he comes up with some crazy trick plays, and game plans... like the onside kick party against the colts.

i just flat out love the guy.

[NJTank]

I think Mike Tice is a joke from scalping tickets to looking like a plumber or carpenter with the pencil in his ear.

[CS85]

That's easy.

Mike Tice is easily the biggest douchebag coaching in the league by a mile and a half. He clearly can't handle his team, and gets an extension for it.

Bill Parcells is an old codger with a superiority complex. He may be a jackass, but he's a good coach.

A runner up is Gruden. I think I'd like to play for him, but I'll bet he's a real prick to hang out with.