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Graphic Design Bootcamp


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Sgt. Cummings: I am Gunnery Sergeant Cummings, and this is Gunnery

Sargeant Francis. We are your senior drill instructors. From now on

you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out

of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?

Group: SIR YES SIR!

Sgt. Cummings: I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Sound off like you got a pair!

Group: SIR YES SIR!

Sgt Cummings: If you ladies leave our island, if you survive recruit

training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of design

praying for jobs. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest

form of life on Earth. You are not even human, freaking beings. You

are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian plop. Do you

maggots understand me?

Group: SIR YES SIR!

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Sgt. Francis: Because we are hard you will not like us. But the more

you hate us the more you will learn. We are hard but we are fair.

There is no design bigotry here. We do not look down on MSPaint,

Infraview, Photobucket or Photoelements. Here you are all equally

worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not

pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand

that?

Group: SIR YES SIR!

Sgt. Francis: Now, we pray:

This is my computer. There are many like it but this one is mine. My

computer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must

master my life. Without me, my computer is useless. Without my

computer I am useless. I must design my own designs. I must not steal

artwork. I must obey the rules of design. Before God I swear this

creed: my computer and my design are defenders of my honor, we are the

masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until

there is no more gradients, and the Dallas Cowboys use the same color

of silver. Amen.

Sgt. Francis: You maggots enjoy the Super Bowl, get some rest.

You'll need it tomorrow!

Briefing monday at 1200 hours. Good Night Ladies.

Group: SIR, GOOD NIGHT, SIR!

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Ooooh, I can't wait for the obligatory friendly fire incidents!  That's the way the American military does things isn't it?

I keed I keed.

Don't worry, they only aim at fellow Americans or Canadians. You're Australian. The only Australians the average American knows are Crocodile Dundee and Nicole Kidman. (Then again, the only Canadians the average American knows are Bob and Doug McKenzie.)

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This may be my first contest. Everyone clap in my honor.

Actually second. I was in some Minnesota Wild contest, and lost in the Semi-Finals (and rightfully so, got beat by a kickass jersey, while my jersey was almost a blackish green).

I'm gonna have to use my ongoing free trials to good use. I don't know how, but I keep getting 30-day trials of photoshop.

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Sgt. Francis:  Because we are hard you will not like us. But the more

you hate us the more you will learn. We are hard but we are fair.

There is no design bigotry here. We do not look down on MSPaint,

Infraview, Photobucket or Photoelements. Here you are all equally

worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not

pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand

that?

Group: SIR YES SIR!

Sgt. Francis:  Now, we pray:

This is my computer. There are many like it but this one is mine. My

computer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must

master my life. Without me, my computer is useless. Without my

computer I am useless. I must design my own designs. I must not steal

artwork.  I must obey the rules of design. Before God I swear this

creed: my computer and my design are defenders of my honor, we are the

masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until

there is no more gradients, and the Dallas Cowboys use the same color

of silver. Amen.

Sgt. Francis:  You maggots enjoy the Super Bowl, get some rest.

You'll need it tomorrow!

Briefing monday  at 1200 hours.  Good Night Ladies.

Group:  SIR, GOOD NIGHT, SIR!

Sgt. Hulka: Lighten up, Francis. B)

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