2005 MLB All-Cool-Name Team

[officeglenn]

All right, so it's post No. 400 for me, and I wanted to do something special. I also have something ready for No. 500, but I didn't want to jump the gun on that. So here's what I've come up with...

The 2005 Major League Baseball All-Cool-Name Team!

You see, mama didn't name me so well, with monosyllabic first and last names, essentially John Doe-ing me. So I've compiled a list of Major League players whose names I think are incredibly cool and would like to have. Extra points were given for: names over eight letters; use of the consonants Q, Z, Y, V or X; use of accents, tildes or umlauts; alliteration; and good performance so far this season.

Without further adieu, the position players:

C - Yorvit Torrealba, San Francisco Giants

? I had never heard of Torrealba before compiling this list, but once I saw the name 'Yorvit,' I knew he had to be on it.

1B - Mark Teixeira, Texas Rangers

? Probably the guy on the list with the name most appropriate to where he's playing.

2B - Orlando Hudson, Toronto Blue Jays

? Anyone named 'Orlando' could have made this list, but the nickname 'O-Dawg' sealed it for Hudson.

3B - Placido Polanco, Philadelphia Phillies

? Like I said, alliteration earns extra points.

SS - Cesar Izturis, Los Angeles Dodgers

? Basically named after the most famous Roman emperor. How could he not be famous with this name?

OF - Rocco Baldelli, Tampa Bay Devil Rays

? How I could not include someone named 'Rocco'?

OF - Milton Bradley, Los Angeles Dodgers

? Same name as a game company.

OF - Wily Mo Peña, Cincinnati Reds

? Two first names and a tilde in the surname ? cool.

DH - Vladimir Guerrero, Los Angeles Angels

? Any other first name but 'Vladimir' and he probably wouldn't have made the list. Plus he's a great player.

And then there's the pitchers:

SP - Bronson Arroyo, Boston Red Sox

? Named after actor Charles Bronson; 'Arroyo' seals the deal.

SP - Tanyon Sturtze, New York Yankees

? Just different enough to be really cool.

SP - Johan Santana, Minnesota Twins

? If he was just 'Juan' or 'John,' he wouldn't be so remarkable. But as it is, the coolest-named pitcher to ever win the Cy Young Award.

SP - Carlos Zambrano, Chicago Cubs

? I'd trade my name for his any day.

SP - Josh Towers, Toronto Blue Jays

? Sounds like 'Max Power' ... the man with name you'd like to touch ... but you mustn't touch it.

RP - Huston Street, Oakland Athletics

? This was the name that inspired me to compile this list.

RP - Ambiorix Burgos, Kansas City Royals

? 'Ambiorix' sounds like a lost character from those Asterix comics.

RP - Octavio Dotel, Oakland Athletics

? Little does he know that a freak accident will turn him into the evil Dr. Octopus.

RP - Jason Isringhausen, St. Louis Cardinals

? Gotta love the names where the equipment managers have to sew extra fabric onto the jersey to make the nameplate fit.

RP - Kelvim Escobar, Los Angeles Angels

? If only his pitching was as good as his name...

RP - Shigetoshi Hasegawa, Seattle Mariners

? Japanese names = cool.

RP - Tim Harikkala, Oakland Athletics

? 'Harikkala'? Isn't that the chant that New Zealand rugby players do before a game? .

Other receiving consideration:

Todd Hollandsworth, Shea Hillenbrand, Juan Encarnacion, Erubiel Durazo, Aramis Ramirez, Omar Infante, Nomar Garciaparra, Ricky Bottalico, Shingo Takatsu, Antonio Alfonseca, Glendon Rusch, Scott Schoeneweis.

Any other nominations? Post 'em here!

[CC97]

Any other nominations? Post 'em here!

Valerio de los Santos

[Gary]

Bartolo Colon

[officeglenn]

Bartolo Colon

Bartolo ? cool

Colon ? not so cool; kind of brings up the wrong sort of imagery

[rmackman]

Coco Crisp on the Indians. Who names someone after a cereal? They should have Coco Crisp day and give out Cocoa Krispies to all the fans at the ballpark.

Scott Podsednik on the White Sox. By the time you finish saying his name he's already stolen second base.

[OMMF]

Coco Crisp on the Indians. Who names someone after a cereal? They should have Coco Crisp day and give out Cocoa Krispies to all the fans at the ballpark.

Scott Podsednik on the White Sox. By the time you finish saying his name he's already stolen second base.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't ever remember there being a mainline Coco Crisp cereal. By mainline I mean from one of the 5 major cereal producers (Kelloggs, Gen Mills, Post, Quaker or Malt-O-Meal).

You can find Cocoa Crisps in the natural section but was there ever a Coco Crisp cereal?

[rmackman]

Cocoa Krispies made by the people who make Rice Krispies. That's what his name sounds like.

[BaltimoreFan]

There was a player a long time ago for the Orioles named Drungo Hazewood.

[Discrim]

and of course you can't forget that former Braves farmhand...Wonderful Terrific Monds III

[thejroll]

What about Ryan Langerhans, the Braves reserve outfielder.

[Ez Street]

RP - Huston Street, Oakland Athletics

? This was the name that inspired me to compile this list.

If only he had learned to throw in the "ER" on the end of his last name....

[Phil]

Coco Crisp has to be on the list.

[Sabrejeff]

You guys forgot ex-Expo and current National Terrmel Sledge.

BTW, "Coco" was a nickname from grandmother. His first name is Covelli and everyone used to call him "Co". His grandmother just started calling him that instead.

[slapshot]

Isn't Izzy Alcantara in the majors? Or at least upper minors.

Doug Mietkiewicz

AJ Pierczynski

Vladimir Guerrero (how many Hispanics are named after Russians?)

Corey Koskie (more alliteration)

Khalil Greene (just to be different)

Erubiel Durazo

Mike Myers (go with either Austin Powers or a Halloween reference)

[OB33]

Coco Crisp has to be on the list.

Agreed. When I went to a game at Jacobs Field my best memory is at least someone every minutes shouting out COCO! And Sledge at least deserves honorable mention.

I would so buy these jerseys if I had money.

[Suigi]

Nice to see so many T-Jays on the list!

We do have an eclectic bunch up here in the Rogers Centre.

EDIT: Here's one for the list - Mark Grudzielanek.

[rockchalk]

I thought it was Yorvit, not Yarvit. Anyway, this topic is right in my wheelhouse I've always liked Royals CF David DeJesus. Erubiel Durazo of course. Hmmm, better just list:

CC Sabathia

Kiko Calero

Gustavo Chacin

Yadier Molina (or any of the Catching Molinas)

So Taguchi

Runelvys Hernandez

Kevin Gryboski

Andruw Jones

Victor Zambrano (Cooler than Carlos)

Deivi Cruz

Adam Hyzdu

Xavier Nady

Yhency Brazoban

Giovanni Carrara

Hideo Nomo (The original cool Japanese name)

Pitching Coach: Orel Hershiser

[IronChefShark]

C - Yorvit Torrealba, San Francisco Giants

? I had never heard of Torrealba before compiling this list, but once I saw the name 'Yarvit,' I knew he had to be on it.

that's my boy right there! He is good enough to play as an everyday catcher on a lot of teams out there. matheny's okay, but I was hoping they would give Yorvit the chance to play on a regular basis.

and on that note....why hasn't Kurt Bevacqua made this list yet?

[CZzyzx41]

If we made an all-time list he'd be on it along with William VanLandingham and Don Money, Tito Fuentes, Ed Montefusco, John D'Aquisto, Juan Eichelberger and Sixto Lezcano. God Baseball's been so good for weird names.

[Stampman]

If we made an all-time list he'd be on it along with William VanLandingham and Don Money, Tito Fuentes, Ed Montefusco, John D'Aquisto, Juan Eichelberger and Sixto Lezcano. God Baseball's been so good for weird names.

All time team would have to include Rollie Fingers, Boog Powell, and Vida Blue...