The Most Boring Team in Pro Sports

[The_Admiral]

4 minutes ago, LMU said:

 Their new ballpark is more well known for the 2020 playoffs than the actual team that resides in it. 

That and being a hideous megachurch+Costco+barn that no one even needed.

[SFGiants58]

The Portland Trail Blazers just kind exist. They make some playoff splashes once in a while, but aren’t ever a big spotlight team. Their status will fall further once Lillard leaves. 

[DG_ThenNowForever]

25 minutes ago, SFGiants58 said:

The Portland Trail Blazers just kind exist. They make some playoff splashes once in a while, but aren’t ever a big spotlight team. Their status will fall further once Lillard leaves. 

 

I don't know about that. There's almost a straight line from the Drexler team to the Jail Blazers to LMA and Roy to the 2019 WCF Lillard team. Plus the 2000 team that almost knocked off the Lakers.

 

You can fairly say it's unlikely the Blazers win a title in the modern NBA, but I think they're definitely a B- or A-tier franchise.

[OnWis97]

On 10/13/2021 at 2:19 PM, Kramerica Industries said:

Gone way too far into this thread to not see a single mention of the Minnesota Wild.

I thought of them but chose not to pile on my own team.  But they fit: no superstars (or even stars) in franchise history, no Hart Trophy candidates, no big statical leaders, playoff appearances but never opened at home, historically defensive-oriented and slow.  
 

Not as relevant as the Braves but relevant enough to be part of this discussion.

[The Six]

Winnipeg Jets. After they moved to Arizona, everyone clamored for them to come back for years.  Any time there was a conversation about defunct teams you want to come back, they were near the top of everyone's lists. "Those Winnipeg chaps should return!," they'd pine. "Remember when the Jets were around? Those were the days," they'd wax.

 

Then they finally came back, and nobody cared.  We talked about their new logo, and how small their stadium is, and then went back to ignoring them, just like we did before.  If they weren't an inoffensive Canadian team that was always too terrible to have a real rivalry with anybody, nobody would have wanted them back in the first place.  They were simply a thing from our youths that we remembered having and really, really wanted back, but once we got it back, we forgot why we ever wanted it. 

 

And it's because we never wanted them back. We never cared. We never had a reason to.

 

There is no there there in Winnipeg, and there is nothing to the Jets.

[Digby]

I'd agree with the Trail Blazers if they had a Mavs/Wolves/Thunder level of modern meh-ness brand, but the Blazers' look has been almost unchanged since day one and is one of the great logos and iconic jerseys of the NBA -- that alone gives them a certain level of relevance.

[Chromatic]

1 hour ago, The Six said:

Then they finally came back, and nobody cared.  We talked about their new logo, and how small their stadium is, and then went back to ignoring them, just like we did before.  If they weren't an inoffensive Canadian team that was always too terrible to have a real rivalry with anybody, nobody would have wanted them back in the first place.  They were simply a thing from our youths that we remembered having and really, really wanted back, but once we got it back, we forgot why we ever wanted it. 

 

And it's because we never wanted them back. We never cared. We never had a reason to.

 

There is no there there in Winnipeg, and there is nothing to the Jets.

No. Plenty of people cared. Plenty of people still care. Having a team return to the country where the sport is significantly more popular makes a big impact. I don't know who "we" is, but if that's the case its because you don't really follow the NHL. Its like me saying "Nobody cares that the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series again in 2016" because I barely follow baseball. Of course I'd think that if that were the case.

[Lights Out]

1 hour ago, The Six said:

Winnipeg Jets. After they moved to Arizona, everyone clamored for them to come back for years.  Any time there was a conversation about defunct teams you want to come back, they were near the top of everyone's lists. "Those Winnipeg chaps should return!," they'd pine. "Remember when the Jets were around? Those were the days," they'd wax.

 

Then they finally came back, and nobody cared.  We talked about their new logo, and how small their stadium is, and then went back to ignoring them, just like we did before.  If they weren't an inoffensive Canadian team that was always too terrible to have a real rivalry with anybody, nobody would have wanted them back in the first place.  They were simply a thing from our youths that we remembered having and really, really wanted back, but once we got it back, we forgot why we ever wanted it. 

 

And it's because we never wanted them back. We never cared. We never had a reason to.

 

There is no there there in Winnipeg, and there is nothing to the Jets.

 

I was going to suggest the Jets as well. I already forgot that they were in the WCF a few years ago, that's how anonymous they are. It's great for Winnipeg fans that they got the NHL back, but from an outside perspective, there hasn't been much else to get excited about.

 

They were also totally irrelevant in Atlanta outside of the off-ice drama with the Atlanta Spirit ownership group (and even that was overshadowed by the Coyotes' dysfunction). The Thrashers made the playoffs once ever and immediately got swept by a 6th-seeded Rangers team.

[DG_ThenNowForever]

MLS may be its own special category here, but I think the New England Revolution might be a good candidate. Or if not boring per se, maybe underwhelming?

 

Right now they're on pace to have among the best regular seasons in MLS history, but even among hardcore fans like myself, it doesn't really seem to matter.

 

A lot of it stems from the Kraft family seemingly ignoring the team, or at least not taking active steps to improve what might be the worst stadium situation in MLS.

 

Atlanta United, Columbus Crew, and even Cincinnati FC are all having worse seasons, yet they all feel like they matter more.

 

I suppose you could Philadelphia Union here too (I actually had to look up whether it was Union or United...).

[The_Admiral]

40 minutes ago, Lights Out said:

I was going to suggest the Jets as well. I already forgot that they were in the WCF a few years ago, that's how anonymous they are. It's great for Winnipeg fans that they got the NHL back, but from an outside perspective, there hasn't been much else to get excited about.

 

Bad luck. The Dethrasherization of the organization necessarily took a long time, but then when they were finally ready to win the Stanley Cup, oops, here comes the Las Vegas pet project that was basically allowed to loophole the entire game of hockey. Jets management forgot to plan for an expansion team getting a Hall of Fame goalie near his prime and being allowed to roll four second lines on short shifts. As one does.

 

I can't find the Jets boring or forgettable; they're one of the few things the league has done right in recent years.

[SFGiants58]

3 hours ago, Digby said:

I'd agree with the Trail Blazers if they had a Mavs/Wolves/Thunder level of modern meh-ness brand, but the Blazers' look has been almost unchanged since day one and is one of the great logos and iconic jerseys of the NBA -- that alone gives them a certain level of relevance.

 

 

12 hours ago, DG_ThenNowForever said:

 

I don't know about that. There's almost a straight line from the Drexler team to the Jail Blazers to LMA and Roy to the 2019 WCF Lillard team. Plus the 2000 team that almost knocked off the Lakers.

 

You can fairly say it's unlikely the Blazers win a title in the modern NBA, but I think they're definitely a B- or A-tier franchise.

The brand and history is nice, but they’re still boring. They never do too poorly, usually cough up an all-star or two, then die off quickly in the playoffs. That’s rarely exciting. That’s the basketball Atlanta Braves.
 

The Timbers became the city’s favorite franchise while I was living in PDX.

[DG_ThenNowForever]

3 minutes ago, SFGiants58 said:

 

The Timbers became the city’s favorite franchise while I was living in PDX.

 

Oh, I could totally see that.

[Digby]

4 hours ago, DG_ThenNowForever said:

MLS may be its own special category here, but I think the New England Revolution might be a good candidate. Or if not boring per se, maybe underwhelming?

 

Right now they're on pace to have among the best regular seasons in MLS history, but even among hardcore fans like myself, it doesn't really seem to matter.

 

A lot of it stems from the Kraft family seemingly ignoring the team, or at least not taking active steps to improve what might be the worst stadium situation in MLS.

 

Atlanta United, Columbus Crew, and even Cincinnati FC are all having worse seasons, yet they all feel like they matter more.

 

I suppose you could Philadelphia Union here too (I actually had to look up whether it was Union or United...).

 

Both NE and Philly have those pretty bad stadium situations and date to the Bad Old Days and the Bad Middle Days, respectively. And their pasts are hard to shake. Can't really blame the Krafts anymore as their stewardship of the Revs has massively turned around in the past five years. But, they're still not getting national TV games or attention from what passes for the MLS press. Of course the stadium still makes for bad TV and nobody but Bruce Arena saw the rises of Matt Turner and Tajon Buchanan to CONCACAF-elite levels happening.

 

It was a similar story for Philly last year, though I'm sure the Covid season didn't help. In their case the stadium situation probably hurts more locally than nationally, since that bridge does make a nice TV backdrop.

 

Chicago Fire have maybe made the most obvious attempt at exiting this list -- unfortunately their moves have failed in every way thus far, but Logo-gate wasn't boring!

[Red Comet]

It’s gotta be the Mariners for me. I remember them having Randy Johnson, Edgar Martinez, Ken Griffey Jr., A-Rod and Ichiro as a kid and who do they have now exactly? If they didn’t have the longest streak of missing the playoffs in MLB I would forget they exist. 

[The_Admiral]

I always thought the Spurs were pretty boring amidst the Shaq/Kobe Lakers, the comic-book-villain Pistons, the Mavericks, and the v1 LeBron Cavaliers. The Kings were kinda fun in the mid-2000s, too. That Spurs-Nets Finals was a low point for the NBA, I have to believe.

[4_tattoos]

1 hour ago, the admiral said:

the comic-book-villain Pistons

Besides Laker fans, who viewed those Pistons in that way?

[dont care]

1 hour ago, 4_tattoos said:

Besides Laker fans, who viewed those Pistons in that way?

Most of the East from 01-06

[The_Admiral]

I miss the days of Afro Guy, Bald Guy, Masked Guy, Headband Guy, and their leader, Moody Jewish Guy

[Lights Out]

16 hours ago, the admiral said:

I always thought the Spurs were pretty boring amidst the Shaq/Kobe Lakers, the comic-book-villain Pistons, the Mavericks, and the v1 LeBron Cavaliers. The Kings were kinda fun in the mid-2000s, too. That Spurs-Nets Finals was a low point for the NBA, I have to believe.

 

I never understood how anyone could be bored watching Duncan, D-Rob, and Manu, but to each their own, I guess. I've always felt it was a case of the media being "bored" due to their superficial market bias and talking casual fans into being "bored" as well.

[The_Admiral]

The whole league was kind of boring in 2002-2005, to be fair.