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2013-14 NHL Season: "We Are North American Scum"


Funky Bunky

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Timmy is going to be disappointed when he gets to Broward County and finds that everyone is a Democrat, and that it's much less fun to go on survivalist romps when it involves surviving alligators.

He can live in Boca Raton where rich Republicans live.

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I know nhl.com has to do this "Say Something Nice About Everybody" feature to start the year, but man, look at that roster. That's a lot of bad. I didn't even think Upshall and Bergenheim were still in the league!

Also,

It's a feeling the Florida Panthers would much rather do without. But they'll hold on to it, at least for a little while longer.

"I think if you don't remember how it feels, then that's probably not a good thing, because it didn't feel very good at any time or it wasn't acceptable," defenseman Brian Campbell said of last season's lost season.

"… So I think you think about it, but you think about, hopefully, guys have been on winning teams too, so you think about that."

This whole block reads like when you're on the phone with somebody and that person is clearly in the middle of something very important, but he doesn't have the heart to hang up on you, but clearly his mind is in another place, so he just says a bunch of words that meet the most basic of syntactical minimums without actually conveying any information. Also, the thing that's more important is just Candy Crush.

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I know I've said this a bunch of times before, but I bet Thomas is happy that Florida won't be winning the Cup anytime soon.

On a side note, I will always remember Bergenheim for his out of nowhere 2011 playoffs(9 goals those playoffs). I know the Tampa fans here probably have good memories of him.

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It sounds like I'm knocking Campbell, by the way, but I'm really knocking the writer for thinking that was in any way a compelling beginning to a story. I guess he figured it was better than when he asked Jamie Benn for thoughts on Dallas's disappointment last year, to which Benn replied "bwuhhhh" and drooled on his own crotch.

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/Playoffs or bust for the Jackets this year. Period.

I say this as someone who pulled for the Jackets during their run last year. Be prepared for "bust." Not only did that Jackets team play out of their minds, but they're now in a new division with Washington, Pittsburgh, the Rangers, and (lol) Philadelphia. It's going to be a harder season for them, even if they do manage to keep up last year's level of play.

Oh, I'm well prepared for bust, it'd just be such a huge step backwards for the team and the market if they didn't make the playoffs. They finally got the city behind the team and another season of missed playoffs wouldn't be a good thing.

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I know this isn't the Bad Thought Aggregator, but

It really didn't, it was a pretty clean hit. Torres left his feet before and hit Hossa in the chin, Nolan launched after the hit and initiated contact in the chest. It just had an unfortunate result and we're all frustrated by that.

Nope. Same thing happened in the Torres hit, he had skates on the ice at point of contact. In both hits the person performing the check comes off the ice as the hit is made. I remember we analyzed it pretty hard and had some nice frames showing Torres feet on the ice during initial contact.

I'll admit the rules say that the player is allowed to leave the ice after contact and I'm fine with it. Was a clean hit.

I'm allowed to be upset that Raffi got 25 games for the same thing.

Sweet frames bro. And way to be upset about a guy who isn't on your team anymore and got another major suspension for being an idiot from his new team. Coyotes fans are the dumbest. Just a bunch of siege-mentality simpletons.

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