Mac the Knife

If You Ruled The World of Sports

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Congratulations!  All of the major organizations in both amateur and professional sport have come together in Zurich, and in an unprecedented move have agreed to operate under a single, universal organization.  And as a demonstration of their intent to serve as a beacon for future generations, they've turned to you to accept the ultimate title:  "Commissioner of Sport," with full power over any and every sport, amateur or professional, played worldwide.  Your power is unlimited and you have a single, 5 year term in office.

 

What do you, as Commissioner of Sport, do during your term?

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Oh boy... where do I begin...

 

American Football

-Create an 'NFL D-League', which would be a spring league that allows players that have been drafted the year before and players who left college early to get a chance at the pro level. It would have 32 teams, similar to the NFL and each team would have a D-League affiliate.

-Shrink the rule book so that the game is easier to understand

 

Hockey

-Bring. Back. Fighting!

 

Soccer

-Expand the World Cup to 48 teams. 12 four team groups. Top two teams in each group advance to the knockout stage.

-Host nations will have a minimum of five years to prepare for hosting duties. If a nation is found at the halfway mark to not be ready, then the runner up nation in voting will be named the new host of the World Cup and will be given the same amount of time to set up

 

College Sports

-Pay the players. 25% of the leftover money from the end of the season is placed in a general fund that goes for all sports.

-Reintroduce the 'NCAA' video game series. 2K will be given the rights to NCAA Basketball. EA will be given the rights to NCAA Football and NCAA Hockey and then Sony and Microsoft will share duties for NCAA Baseball with each maker putting a game on their respective systems. 25% of all game sales (disc and digital) will go to the main fund, which is then distributed to all the schools.

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Ban public funding for privately owned stadia

 

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No more long pants in baseball. Socks and stirrups for everyone.

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Life bans for all drug cheats and those that supply/manufacture the drugs would be banned from holding any position within or associated to any sport/team/organisation.

 

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2 hours ago, tigers said:

Life bans for all drug cheats and those that supply/manufacture the drugs would be banned from holding any position within or associated to any sport/team/organisation.

Don't forget "unlimited power."  "Drugs" are a generic term.  How far do you extend it?  Just to PEDs?  To cocaine, heroin, meth, etc.?

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Just a few Ideas

Hockey
Bring back Fighting
End some of the Failed Sunbelt Teams, move Arizona to Houston, move Florida to Quebec and move Carolina to Halifax (As the Whalers)
Give Seattle, the 32nd Expansion Team

NFL
NFL D-League as already mentioned, Spring Time league with 
Move the Charges back to San Diego under different Ownership
End the Silly NFL in London Experiment with a revived NFL Europa with a focus on cultivating European talent.
No more Thursday Night Football
No More One Helmet Rule

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I would sit down and tweak EVERY. SINGLE. UNIFORM. SET. The NHL, NFL, NBA, and MLB will look fantastic! (Not the biggest soccer guy, so outside hire for best jersey designs. Of course, the new uniform every year for soccer would stop.) No longer would we see yoga pants in the NFL, no longer will we see sleeves in the NBA, no longer will we see side panels and flags in the NHL. And the MLB will look pretty sharp too. And I would hand pick each match up for each game. So that way there's no black sleeved, or Navy on Royal for the Championship. I'd also make Nike, Adidas, and whoever else to fix the collars in all sports so that their the best. 

 

Maybe I'd tweak some rules and formats. And most certainly, move the Coyotes and Hurricanes.

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In general, allow for color vs. color matchups.

 

NFL:

  • Outside of blatant head-to-head and spearing (or leading with the helmet), get rid of the unnecessary roughness calls. This is especially true of QB sacks. Case in point, the Breeland Speaks play in the KC/NE game that led to Brady's four-yard TD run. I'm a NE fan, but I was miffed that Speaks let go because he was scared of a flag.
  • Make referee conversations transparent. I'd like to hear their discussions as part of the broadcast.
  • Remove the one-helmet rule
  • Create an NFL-affiliated D-league. Put those games on a streaming platform, with a "game of the week" on the NFL Network
  • Get rid of Thursday night football, except for T'giving.

NHL:

  • Simplify the record-keeping in terms of wins and losses. No need for this "overtime loss" business. You win, you win. You lose, you lose.

NBA

  • Balance the schedules so that everybody plays each team the same number of times somehow.
  • Get rid of conferences. Have the top teams make the playoffs. I'd even stand to move that number to 12, giving the top four teams a bye round.
  • No on-jersey ads.

MLB:

  • Balance the schedules, including interleague.
  • Unify the DH rule, one way or the other.
  • Make the current wild-card rounds into a best-of-three.

NCAA football and basketball:

  • Allow the players to profit from their likenesses. Just put that money into an escrow account held until the player graduates. If a player doesn't graduate, then they forfeit that money.
  • Reinstate the NCAA football/basketball video games.
  • Have a 16-team playoff for FBS. All ten conference champions and six at-larges.
  • In basketball, end conference tournaments. The regular season champ gets the auto-bid.

NASCAR:

  • Get rid of the playoffs. A simple points system would work. 40-1 points for finishing in positions 1-40. Add a point for pole position.
  • More variety in tracks. More road courses, more short tracks, less 1.5-milers. No track should get two dates, unless they use a different layout (a roval).

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NFL:

  • Every announcer would be obligated to use the phrase "matriculate the ball" at least once per game.  
    • "The Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles are matriculating the ball at will on the LOL Giants."
    • "Adrian Peterson is terrible at being a parent and a human, but he's great at matriculating that ball down the field"
  • The Vince Lombardi trophy would be renamed the Doug Pederson trophy, because Vince Lombardi couldn't hold Pederson's jock strap, as proven by his inability to win the Super Bowl LII championship, which is something that Doug Pederson did.
  • THE MUTHAFUGGING GORILLA RULE!

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I really only care about hockey, so here's how I'd fix the NHL.

 

- More fighting!

- Take away those damn ads beneath the goal lines they added to the ice this year.

- Allow for teams to choose their own jersey manufacturers.

- Move Arizona to Seattle. Collapse the Hurricanes. Move Florida to Quebec. Keep the league at 30 teams.

- More international games. Expand the game.

- KEEP THE ISLANDERS AT THE COLISEUM UNTIL THEIR NEW STADIUM IS BUILT. F*** THE BARCLAYS CENTER.

- Keep the league at large apolitical. Support the "Hockey is for Everyone" campaign but don't force teams to wear the rainbow tape and whatnot if they're really that opposed to it. They can be homophobic of they so please.

- Take away hybrid icing. Half the time the refs f*** up the calls anyways. Just use regular icing again.

- Quit making video review so prominent.

- Expand marketing. Hockey has the potential to grow into a bigger sport, so embrace that possibility.

 

Bam. That's about it.

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My only proposal would deal with only college sports. As in refocus the NCAA to represent only the schools that are Division I. Divisions II and III would then join the NAIA. Division II would be the new NAIA Division I. The current NAIA would become the new Division II. Division III would be the same, only under NAIA oversight. The new NAIA Division III members would have the option of awarding athletic scholarships.

 

Oh and I would re-introduce fighting in all sports, not just the NHL.

Edited by buzzcut

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SHOWBOATING WON'T BE FROWNED UPON!

Football players can dance as much as they want without being penalized. Baseball players can throw their bats to the moon.

You don't like it? Well too bad. You should've played better than them. 

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NFL

- Get rid of the one helmet rule.

- Everybody wears Vicis Zero1.

- Bring back WLAF/NFLE and this time, more than six teams please.

- Let other companies besides EA make NFL video games.

- Chargers and Raiders colors, history etc stays behind in their old cities while each team gets settled in with new identities in their new cities.

 

MLB

- Salary cap and salary floor.

- AL and NL with even number of teams.

 

NBA

- Bring back the Sonics.

 

NHL

- Move the Coyotes, Panthers and Hurricanes to Kansas City, Seattle, Portland, Salt Lake, Quebec City, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, anywhere that'll better appreciate hockey.

- Islanders return to Uniondale ASAP.

 

MLS

- Crew stays in Columbus no matter the cost.

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19 minutes ago, neo_prankster said:

MLB

- AL and NL with even number of teams.

Well, I've got good news for you

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36 minutes ago, Kaz said:

Well, I've got good news for you

I'm assuming that, by even, he means both leagues have a number of teams that is even, not that they are equal.

 

AL/NL both have an odd number of teams (15), even though both are equal in number

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Just to expand on a few:

 

All championship games (college and professional) are on CBS, NBC, FOX, and/or ABC. And I mean every single game. For example, I don’t wanna hear “Game 2 and 3 of the Stanley Cup Final are on NBCSN”. It must be on the main NBC channel. 

 

ABC Sports brand returns. They can continue using ESPN personals. As stated above, they get to air big games. So MLB Wild Card games, the CFB National Championship and the 3 Tennis Grand Slames ESPN has the rights to, are on ABC.

 

MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL and College Championship Finals start no later than 8pm EST. 

 

MLB:

Have even number of teams in each league. Limit Interleague to 4 weekends (2 in May and 2 in July). 

A more balanced schedule. Spread Divison games evenly all throughout the season. 

Playoff games start anytime but no later than 8:10pm EST. Tired of waiting till 9. 

TBS doesn’t get to air Baseball ever again. Give it to NBC or ABC. 

 

NBA:

Divisions matter again. Division winners gets top seeds.

First round is a best-of-5 again.

Better travel schedule.  

 

NFL:

No more 1 helmet rule.

Thursday Night Football is canceled forever (except Season Opening Kickoff and Lions and Cowboys games on Thanksgiving). 

The Pro Bowl is after the Super Bowl again.

 

Division 1 College Football:

Playoffs are now expanded to 8 teams.

Undefeated teams are guaranteed a spot in the playoffs, no matter the difficulty of the schedule. 

Teams that played in the Conference title games aren’t guaranteed but have better shots than teams that didn’t. 

EA Sports gets to make NCAA Football games again!

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