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NFL Playoff Prediction Thread: 2011 Season


Mac the Knife

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Make your predictions here. We'll make a competition of it: correct predictions in each Wild Card Round game worth 1 point, Divisional Playoff Round games worth 2, Conference Championship games worth 3, and Super Bowl worth 5.

AFC Wild Card Round:

Cincinnati over Houston

Pittsburgh over Denver

NFC Wild Card Round:

New Orleans over Detroit

Atlanta over NY Giants

AFC Divisional Round:

Baltimore over Pittsburgh

New England over Cincinnati

NFC Divisional Round:

Green Bay over Atlanta

New Orleans over San Francisco

AFC Championship:

New England over Baltimore

NFC Championship:

Green Bay over New Orleans

Super Bowl XLVI:

Green Bay over New England

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Oh man... started only one minute after the thread that I made:

We should try to get the two merged together / get mine deleted, but for now, here are mine that I posted in my thread:

Wild Card Weekend

6. Bengals over 3. Texans

5. Steelers over 4. Broncos

3. Saints over 6. Lions

5. Falcons over 4. Giants

Divisional Playoffs

1. Patriots over 6. Bengals

2. Ravens over 5. Steelers

1. Packers over 5. Falcons

3. Saints over 2. 49ers

Conference Championships

2. Ravens over 1. Patriots

1. Packers over 3. Saints

Superbowl

Packers over Ravens

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AFC Wild Card Round

Cincinnati over Houston

Pittsburgh over Denver

NFC Wild Card Round

New Orleans over Detroit

Atlanta over NY Giants

AFC Divisional Round

Baltimore over Pittsburgh

New England over Cincinnati

NFC Divisional Round

Green Bay over Atlanta

New Orleans over San Francisco

AFC Championship

Baltimore over New England

NFC Championship

New Orleans over Green Bay

Super Bowl XLVI

New Orleans over Baltimore

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AFC Wild Card Round

Cincinnati over Houston

Pittsburgh over Denver

NFC Wild Card Round

New Orleans over Detroit

New York over Atlanta

AFC Divisional Round

Baltimore over Pittsburgh

New England over Cincinnati

NFC Divisional Round

New York over Green Bay

New Orleans over San Francisco

AFC Championship

Baltimore over New England

NFC Championship

New Orleans over New York

Super Bowl XLVI

New Orleans over Baltimore

concepts: washington football (2017) ... nfl (2013) ... yikes

potd 10/20/12
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I'll try:

AFC Wildcard

Houston 16 Cincy 14

Pittsburgh 17 Denver zip

NFC Wildcard

Atlanta 28 New York 31

Detroit 28 NO 45

AFC Division

NE 31 Pittsburgh 24

Baltimore 20 Houston 6

NFC Division

Green Bay 41 New York 24

NO 20 SF 24

AFC Championship

NE 31 Baltimore 24

SF 20 Green Bay 34

Super Bowl

NE 41 Green Bay 48

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BEAR DOWN ARIZONA!

2013/14 Tanks Picks Champion

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AFC WILD CARD:

at Houston 21, Cincinnati 19

Pittsburgh 17, at Denver 7

NFC WILD CARD:

at New Orleans 38, Detroit 24

at N.Y. Giants 27, Atlanta 20

AFC DIVISIONAL:

Pittsburgh 24, at New England 17

at Baltimore 27, Houston 13

NFC DIVISIONAL:

at Green Bay 33, N.Y. Giants 19

New Orleans 31, at San Francisco 17

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP:

at Baltimore 20, Pittsburgh 14

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP:

at Green Bay 34, New Orleans 28

SUPER BOWL XLVI:

Green Bay 31, Baltimore 24

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AFC Wild Card

Houston 21 Cincinnati 17

Pittsburgh 20 Denver 7

NFC Wild Card

New Orleans 31 Detroit 24

Atlanta 17 NY Giants 15

AFC Divisional

New England 24 Pittsburgh 21

Baltimore 16 Houston 13

NFC Divisional

San Francisco 20 New Orleans 17

Green Bay 24 Atlanta 14

AFC Championship

New England 28 Baltimore 24

NFC Championship

Green Bay 31 San Francisco 17

Super Bowl XLVI

Green Bay 34 New England 28

Go Pack Go!

 

JETS|PACK|JAYS|NUFC|BAMA|BOMBERS|RAPS|ORANJE|

 

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AFC Wild Card Round

Houston over Cincinnati

Pittsburgh over Denver

NFC Wild Card Round

New Orleans over Detroit

Atlanta over NY Giants

AFC Divisional Round

Houston over Baltimore

New England over Pittsburgh

NFC Divisional Round

Green Bay over Atlanta

San Francisco over New Orleans

AFC Championship

Houston over New England

NFC Championship

Green Bay over San Francisco

Super Bowl XLVI

Green Bay over Houston

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AFC Wild Card

(3) Houston over (6) Cincinnati

(5) Pittsburgh over (4) Denver

NFC Wild Card

(3) New Orleans over (6) Detroit

(5) New York over (4) Atlanta

AFC Divisional Round

(1) New England over (5) Pittsburgh

(2) Baltimore over (3) Houston

NFC Divisional Round

(5) New York over (1) Green Bay

(2) San Francisco over (3) New Orleans

AFC Championship

(2) Baltimore over (1) New England

NFC Championship

(2) San Francisco over (5) New York

Super Bowl

Baltimore over San Francisco

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Just a warning this is a massive read. I wrote this up comparing the NFL playoffs to a King of the Ring/Survivor Series type deal. Enjoy.

AFC WILD CARD

#5 Steelers vs. #4 Broncos (no holds barred)

- Tim Tebow gets a huge pop as he enters the ring to the Hallelujah chorus. Roethlisberger draws significant heat after throwing rufie powder into Tebow's eyes. Ben swerves Tebow into the corner, forcing him down against his will. Tebow shouts "no, no!" as Roethlisberger says "YES, you want this, you want this!" After several shots to the face, Roethlisberger hooks Tebow into his finisher, The Rapelock. As Roethlisberger plays to the crowd, Von Miller shoots out from backstage to an enormous pop, hits Big Ben with a chair, and lifts Tebow's exhausted form onto Ben, getting the 3-count.

#6 Bengals vs. #3 Texans (strap match)

- With Matt Schaub looking on from the commentator booth, TJ Yates watches as the official wraps the leather strap around his and Andy Dalton's left arm. After several minutes of give-and-take and surprisingly agile acrobatic locks/holds, the crowd gives them both a modest cheer. Things escalate after Yates hits Dalton with a low blow. The booing crowd does an about face as Dalton out of nowhere hits TJ with the brutal "Gingersnap" spinebuster. Using the strap, Dalton begins to strangle Yates into unconsciousness. The moment becomes too much for Dalton, drunk on success. With the official slapping at Dalton to release him, Andy drags Yates, eyes lolling, to ringside. Schaub takes off his headset and walks to the ropes, where Dalton begins to shout in the injured QB's face. Schaub, with casted arm, clocks Dalton out cold to the surprise of the crowd. Yates slowly covers Dalton for the three count, eliciting a shower of boos from the audience. JR screams of injustice as Schaub reveals his cast was loaded with rolls of nickels.

NFC WILD CARD

#5 Falcons vs. #4 Giants (first blood)

- Eli Manning sits in the corner of the ring, looking unsure of himself as Matt Ryan makes his way out to the anguish of the crowd. Ryan checks the tape on his fists and gestures for Manning to get up. Manning refuses. Ryan begins kicking at Eli to stand and fight like a man, eliciting no response other than a small grin. The impatient crowd frothing, Matt begins arguing with the official about how to handle the situation. As this is going on, David Tyree emerges from under the ring apron and hands Eli his superbowl ring. When Ryan turns around, Manning lands a punch with the sharp ring, drawing blood. The official rings the bell as a stunned Ryan stands alone in wonderment, watching the smug Manning jog quickly to the locker room.

#6 Lions vs. #3 Saints (cage)

- The crowd begins to cheer wildly as the cage descends over the ring, Stafford staring down Brees. Brees strikes first, smashing Stafford's elbow into the cage, following it with a vicious kick to the thigh. Stafford shows some moxy, crushing Brees with a DDT and counting out 10 punches on the turnbuckle. Both competitors begin firing off blows, culminating in a double clothesline that leaves both men on the mat. Stafford rises first and begins to slowly climb the cage, Brees soon follows suit. The audience begins madly rooting for Brees to catch up as they both climb opposite sides of the steel cage. Suddenly boos begin to rain down - Ndamukong Suh sprints down the aisle! Brees, now with one leg over the cage, shouts in pain, as Suh pulls his hanging leg down, smashing his testes onto the cage wall. Brees collapses inward to the ring floor as Suh yanks Stafford over the side, earning a dirty upset victory.

AFC DIVISIONAL

#4 Broncos vs. #2 Ravens (tag-team)

- Tebow and Miller conference in the corner of the ring as the ever flamboyant Ray Lewis along with Joe Flacco play to the Baltimore crowd. Lewis calls out Miller to center-ring. They have a staredown, then begin trading punches. Miller keeps getting up and coming back for more each time. Lewis finally stomps him down. With Miller tenderized, Lewis tags in Flacco, who immediately climbs the top rope, setting up the Blue Hen flying splash. At the last second, Miller rolls out of the way and tags in Tebow. The winded Flacco can't counter the Bronco momentum, as Tebow lands clothesline after clothesline. Tebow grabs Joe's legs and locks him in the Crucifixion submission hold. With the crowd chanting new life into him after several grueling seconds, Flacco reaches far enough to tag in Lewis. Ray hits Tebow with a spear-tackle, and too to Miller. The audience cheering wildly, Lewis takes off his kneepad and mounts the top turnbuckle. He delivers a flying knee drop to the chest, or as the fans call it "the Obstruction of Justice," and pins Tebow for the 3 count as the Baltimore crowd goes nuts.

#3 Texans vs. #1 Patriots (I quit)

- Yates, still reeling from the bout with Dalton, slowly makes his way to the ring, where Brady stands waiting with a microphone and dressed in a fine suit. Despite his weariness, Yates demands Brady prepare for a fight. Brady, mic in hand, begins to shoot to Yates about just what this all means. "Do you think the Texans are going to even consider bringing you back next year, TJ? Really? They're not going to give you your starting job next year. With Schaub there, you have no future with this franchise. You'll always be number 2." Yates begins to soak in the words from Brady's mouth. Gary Kubiak emerges from the dressing room and pleads with Yates that it's not true, ensuring fair balance and competition next year. Brady points out the microscopic nature of his contract compared to Schaub's, and after several tense moments, Yates grabs the microphone and shouts "I QUIT!" angrily at a wounded Kubiak.

NFC DIVISIONAL

#4 Giants vs. #2 49ers (lumberjack)

- Alex Smith, folk hero, takes to the ring with "Don't Stop Believing" working the crowd into a frenzy. Eli Manning as usual stoicly stands quietly in the corner. The 'lumberjacks' for either man form around ringside: Patrick Willis, Vernon Davis, and Justin Smith; Peyton Manning, Archie Manning, and Disco Inferno. Smith goes after Eli who quickly scurries under the bottom rope to ringside, eliciting a torrent of boos. Archie and Peyton encourage him to get back in the ring and fight. Begrudgingly, Eli does so and is met with a flurry of suplexes from Smith. With the crowd out for blood, Eli once again runs out of the squared circle. Unfortunately for him he thinks he's on the side with his family and Disco Inferno. He smugly grins and turns around to see Willis and co. staring him down. They beat him mercilessly for several seconds before depositing Eli back into the ring. Smith plants Eli between his legs and nails him with the Bust-Breaker powerbomb, earning the pinfall as the audience goes wild.

#6 Lions vs. #1 Packers (ladder)

- Aaron Rodgers reluctantly hands off his championship belt to the official who raises the strap up high above the ring. Stafford approaches from the locker room with manager Jim Schwartz but comes no farther than the area under the titantron. Through the microphone he explains to the official that due to his injured elbow from the Brees match, he's going to elect for his backup to replace him. Schwartz hands the official an updated depth chart where shockingly Ndamakong Suh has been delegated to be the backup quarterback. Suh takes to the ring under a chorus of boos, and wastes no time in trying to take out Rodgers legs. Cheap shots to the eye, groin, and knees draw intense heat from the Wisconsin crowd. Using the ladder, Suh grinds on Rodgers wobbly knee as #12 screams in pain. Suh then mocks the crowd with a Discount-Double-Check, and begins to climb the ladder. The ladder already quaking under Suh's girth, Rodgers slowly rises to his feet, and with a mighty heave topples the ladder, spilling Suh ringside. As Stafford and Schwartz try to revive Suh, Rodgers climbs the ladder and pulls down the title with his final reserves of strength.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

#2 Ravens vs. #1 Patriots (undertermined)

- Brady, still in his fine suit and looking well-coifed, stands in center ring with Wes Welker opposite of Joe Flacco and Ray Lewis. The stipulation for the AFC title game had yet to be announced. Brady gets on the mic and brags to the crowd how he has it on good authority (Belichick's spies) that it will be a handicap match against Flacco. Roger Goodell emerges from the back and tells Brady to hold up. To Brady's horror, Goodell announces that it WILL be a handicap match but AGAINST Brady. Not only must Welker leave the ring, but there is a further stipulation in this match - it will be a "hair vs. hair!" Brady, sputtering and stammering in Goodell's direction, is caught off guard when the bell rings. Lewis and Flacco pummel Brady into the ring floor, tearing his suit to pieces. Flacco lands a Blue Hen Flying Splash, and Lewis an Obstruction of Justice. After the three count, Brady screams as they shave his head bald.

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

#2 49ers vs. #1 Green Bay Packers (casket)

- Rodgers and Smith shake hands in center ring, both looking on in wonder as the casket makes it's way to ringside. They begin the match with neither seeming to want to acknowledge the gloomy vestibule, exchanging headlocks and reversals in a classic bout of fundamentals. The audience begins to get impatient, as neither has employed the casket. Both Smith and Rodgers continue grinding each other down using well-executed counters and impact manuevers, and after several minutes both are exhausted. Smith is first to rise, and finally lands a thunderous Bust-Breaker that leaves Rodgers motionless and the Green Bay crowd stunned. Smith confidently approaches the casket and opens the lid, when from within the casket Brett Favre appears! A Packers jersey-adorned Favre bursts out from the coffin, peppering a shocked Smith with haymakers. Once Smith is incapacitated at ringside, Rodgers staggers to his feet and thanks Favre. As Rodgers turns his attentions to Smith, Favre slowly removes his Packers jersey, revealing a 49ers jersey underneath!! Rodgers, unsure of what's going on, turns around and Favre hits him with a devastating StergerSlam. Smith with Favres aid rolls the hapless Rodgers into the coffin and slams the door shut. Backstage footage now rolls of Trent Baalke signing Favre to a 1-match contract before the bout.

SUPERBOWL

#2 49ers vs. #2 Ravens (Iron Man)

- As Flacco and Smith enter the ring, both worn down combatants size each other up. Both players and their coaches, Jim and John Harbaugh, are read the rules of this unique bout. They are fully aware of the 1-hour time limit and both men want their first championship reign. The match begins but it's clear after several minutes of woeful give-and-take that an hour of this would be unwatchable. Commissioner Goodell makes his way out of the back and tells each quarterback that this won't do. To the shock of the world, Goodell announces that instead the two head coaches will fight in their stead. Brother pitted against brother! And it will be within the now-descending Hell in a Cell structure!

Jim and John waste no time climbing the top of the steel enclosure, and begin trading violent punches atop it. John removes his Ravens shirt and begins using it to strangle Jim. Jim counters with a crushing handshake! John screams in agony as Jim's steely grip warps his hand, but the crowd suddenly rains down boos as Jim Schwartz comes sprinting down the aisle and mounts the cage wall. With John prone on the roof clutching his hand, Jim and Schwartz exchanging heated punches as the crowd goes wild. Jim grabs Schwartz in the dreaded Handshake and hurls him from the roof of the cell! As Jim watches Schwartz writhing in pain below, John Harbaugh lands a low blow on his brother and puts him in a sleeperhold. With Jim fading, the lights suddenly drop - the power's gone out!

When the lights flicker back on, Rex Ryan is standing on top of the cell with his meaty hand around John Harbaugh's neck! After shouting angrily at John about their Ravens tenure togther, Ryan lifts John up and delivers a mighty Mother :censored: ing Bull :censored: Slam! With their combined weight and the momentum of the move, the entire roof collapses sending all 3 men to a thudding impact to the ring below. The crowd suddenly goes insane as Tim Tebow emerges from the locker room wearing a referee uniform!!! Tebow drags the arm of Jim Harbaugh over his brother John and counts out three!

The audience cheers madly as Harbaugh, Smith and Tebow parade around the cell's exterior, Jim Ross screaming out "Good God Almighty!" to which Tebow replies, "Yes, yes he :censored: ing is!"

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AFC Wild Card Round

Houston over Cincinnati 24-20

Pittsburgh over Denver 20-3

NFC Wild Card Round

New Orleans over Detroit 44-32

New York over Atlanta 28-23

AFC Divisional Round

Baltimore over Houston 27-13

New England over Pittsburgh 32-10

NFC Divisional Round

Green Bay over New York 42-31

San Francisco over New Orleans 24-19

AFC Championship

Baltimore over New England 34-31 (OT)

NFC Championship

Green Bay over San Francisco 20-14 (OT)

Super Bowl XLVI

Baltimore over Green Bay 25-24

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AFC Wild Card Round

Cincinnati def. Houston 23-20

Denver def. Pittsburgh 16-13

NFC Wild Card Round

New Orleans def. Detroit 45-35

New York def. Atlanta 24-14

AFC Divisional Round

Baltimore def. Denver 23-9

New England def. Cincinnati 38-20

NFC Divisional Round

Green Bay def. New York 35-24

New Orleans def. San Francisco 31-15

AFC Championship

Baltimore def. New England 20-13

NFC Championship

New Orleans def. Green Bay 38-31

Super Bowl XLVI

New Orleans def. Baltimore 24-14

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NFL Wild Card Round

(3) New Orleans over (6) Detroit [45-31]

(4) New York over (5) Atlanta [31-17]

(6) Cincinnati over (3) Houston [24-10]

(5) Pittsburgh over (4) Denver [21-3]

NFL Divisional Round

(3) New Orleans over (2) San Francisco [24-13]

(1) Green Bay over (4) New York [41-31]

(5) Pittsburgh over (2) Baltimore [14-10]

(1) New England over (6) Cincinnati [38-10]

NFL Conference Championship Round

(1) Green Bay over (3) New Orleans [45-42] --> (My pre-season pick was New Orleans over Green Bay, but I expected that game in New Orleans, not Green Bay)

(5) Pittsburgh over (1) New England [21-17]

Super Bowl XLVI

(1) Green Bay over (5) Pittsburgh [31-17]

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AFC Wild Card Round

Houston over Cincinnati

Pittsburgh over Denver

NFC Wild Card Round

New Orleans over Detroit

Atlanta over NY Giants

AFC Divisional Round

Baltimore over Pittsburgh

Houston over New England

NFC Divisional Round

Green Bay over Atlanta

New Orleans over San Francisco

AFC Championship

Baltimore over Houston

NFC Championship

New Orleans over Green Bay

Super Bowl XLVI

Baltimore over New Orleans

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POTD: 2/4/12 3/4/12

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Wild Card

Cincinnati @ Houston

Pittsburgh @ Denver

Detroit @ New Orleans

Atlanta @ NY Giants

Divisional Round

Houston @ Baltimore

Pittsburgh @ New England

NY Giants @ Green Bay

New Orleans @ San Francisco

Conference Championship

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore

New Orleans @ Green Bay

Super Bowl XLVI

Baltimore.....28

Green Bay.....20

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AFC Wild Card

Houston 21 Cincinnati 17

Pittsburgh 20 Denver 7

NFC Wild Card

New Orleans 31 Detroit 24

Atlanta 17 NY Giants 15

AFC Divisional

New England 24 Pittsburgh 21

Baltimore 16 Houston 13

NFC Divisional

San Francisco 20 New Orleans 17

Green Bay 24 Atlanta 14

AFC Championship

New England 28 Baltimore 24

NFC Championship

Green Bay 31 San Francisco 17

Super Bowl XLVI

Green Bay 34 New England 28

This, pretty much. The Patriots are clearly the best team in the AFC (only because the Steelers have a gimpy quarterback, the Texans have no quarterback, the Bengals are inexperienced and Joe Flacco and Tim Tebow suck), but their defense will be utterly destroyed against either Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees (which is why I hope the Falcons or Niners go on a miracle run to the Super Bowl).

Of course, the Patriots could get knocked out in the very first playoff game they play in, like has happened in the past two seasons.

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Just a warning this is a massive read. I wrote this up comparing the NFL playoffs to a King of the Ring/Survivor Series type deal. Enjoy.

AFC WILD CARD

#5 Steelers vs. #4 Broncos (no holds barred)

- Tim Tebow gets a huge pop as he enters the ring to the Hallelujah chorus. Roethlisberger draws significant heat after throwing rufie powder into Tebow's eyes. Ben swerves Tebow into the corner, forcing him down against his will. Tebow shouts "no, no!" as Roethlisberger says "YES, you want this, you want this!" After several shots to the face, Roethlisberger hooks Tebow into his finisher, The Rapelock. As Roethlisberger plays to the crowd, Von Miller shoots out from backstage to an enormous pop, hits Big Ben with a chair, and lifts Tebow's exhausted form onto Ben, getting the 3-count.

#6 Bengals vs. #3 Texans (strap match)

- With Matt Schaub looking on from the commentator booth, TJ Yates watches as the official wraps the leather strap around his and Andy Dalton's left arm. After several minutes of give-and-take and surprisingly agile acrobatic locks/holds, the crowd gives them both a modest cheer. Things escalate after Yates hits Dalton with a low blow. The booing crowd does an about face as Dalton out of nowhere hits TJ with the brutal "Gingersnap" spinebuster. Using the strap, Dalton begins to strangle Yates into unconsciousness. The moment becomes too much for Dalton, drunk on success. With the official slapping at Dalton to release him, Andy drags Yates, eyes lolling, to ringside. Schaub takes off his headset and walks to the ropes, where Dalton begins to shout in the injured QB's face. Schaub, with casted arm, clocks Dalton out cold to the surprise of the crowd. Yates slowly covers Dalton for the three count, eliciting a shower of boos from the audience. JR screams of injustice as Schaub reveals his cast was loaded with rolls of nickels.

NFC WILD CARD

#5 Falcons vs. #4 Giants (first blood)

- Eli Manning sits in the corner of the ring, looking unsure of himself as Matt Ryan makes his way out to the anguish of the crowd. Ryan checks the tape on his fists and gestures for Manning to get up. Manning refuses. Ryan begins kicking at Eli to stand and fight like a man, eliciting no response other than a small grin. The impatient crowd frothing, Matt begins arguing with the official about how to handle the situation. As this is going on, David Tyree emerges from under the ring apron and hands Eli his superbowl ring. When Ryan turns around, Manning lands a punch with the sharp ring, drawing blood. The official rings the bell as a stunned Ryan stands alone in wonderment, watching the smug Manning jog quickly to the locker room.

#6 Lions vs. #3 Saints (cage)

- The crowd begins to cheer wildly as the cage descends over the ring, Stafford staring down Brees. Brees strikes first, smashing Stafford's elbow into the cage, following it with a vicious kick to the thigh. Stafford shows some moxy, crushing Brees with a DDT and counting out 10 punches on the turnbuckle. Both competitors begin firing off blows, culminating in a double clothesline that leaves both men on the mat. Stafford rises first and begins to slowly climb the cage, Brees soon follows suit. The audience begins madly rooting for Brees to catch up as they both climb opposite sides of the steel cage. Suddenly boos begin to rain down - Ndamukong Suh sprints down the aisle! Brees, now with one leg over the cage, shouts in pain, as Suh pulls his hanging leg down, smashing his testes onto the cage wall. Brees collapses inward to the ring floor as Suh yanks Stafford over the side, earning a dirty upset victory.

AFC DIVISIONAL

#4 Broncos vs. #2 Ravens (tag-team)

- Tebow and Miller conference in the corner of the ring as the ever flamboyant Ray Lewis along with Joe Flacco play to the Baltimore crowd. Lewis calls out Miller to center-ring. They have a staredown, then begin trading punches. Miller keeps getting up and coming back for more each time. Lewis finally stomps him down. With Miller tenderized, Lewis tags in Flacco, who immediately climbs the top rope, setting up the Blue Hen flying splash. At the last second, Miller rolls out of the way and tags in Tebow. The winded Flacco can't counter the Bronco momentum, as Tebow lands clothesline after clothesline. Tebow grabs Joe's legs and locks him in the Crucifixion submission hold. With the crowd chanting new life into him after several grueling seconds, Flacco reaches far enough to tag in Lewis. Ray hits Tebow with a spear-tackle, and too to Miller. The audience cheering wildly, Lewis takes off his kneepad and mounts the top turnbuckle. He delivers a flying knee drop to the chest, or as the fans call it "the Obstruction of Justice," and pins Tebow for the 3 count as the Baltimore crowd goes nuts.

#3 Texans vs. #1 Patriots (I quit)

- Yates, still reeling from the bout with Dalton, slowly makes his way to the ring, where Brady stands waiting with a microphone and dressed in a fine suit. Despite his weariness, Yates demands Brady prepare for a fight. Brady, mic in hand, begins to shoot to Yates about just what this all means. "Do you think the Texans are going to even consider bringing you back next year, TJ? Really? They're not going to give you your starting job next year. With Schaub there, you have no future with this franchise. You'll always be number 2." Yates begins to soak in the words from Brady's mouth. Gary Kubiak emerges from the dressing room and pleads with Yates that it's not true, ensuring fair balance and competition next year. Brady points out the microscopic nature of his contract compared to Schaub's, and after several tense moments, Yates grabs the microphone and shouts "I QUIT!" angrily at a wounded Kubiak.

NFC DIVISIONAL

#4 Giants vs. #2 49ers (lumberjack)

- Alex Smith, folk hero, takes to the ring with "Don't Stop Believing" working the crowd into a frenzy. Eli Manning as usual stoicly stands quietly in the corner. The 'lumberjacks' for either man form around ringside: Patrick Willis, Vernon Davis, and Justin Smith; Peyton Manning, Archie Manning, and Disco Inferno. Smith goes after Eli who quickly scurries under the bottom rope to ringside, eliciting a torrent of boos. Archie and Peyton encourage him to get back in the ring and fight. Begrudgingly, Eli does so and is met with a flurry of suplexes from Smith. With the crowd out for blood, Eli once again runs out of the squared circle. Unfortunately for him he thinks he's on the side with his family and Disco Inferno. He smugly grins and turns around to see Willis and co. staring him down. They beat him mercilessly for several seconds before depositing Eli back into the ring. Smith plants Eli between his legs and nails him with the Bust-Breaker powerbomb, earning the pinfall as the audience goes wild.

#6 Lions vs. #1 Packers (ladder)

- Aaron Rodgers reluctantly hands off his championship belt to the official who raises the strap up high above the ring. Stafford approaches from the locker room with manager Jim Schwartz but comes no farther than the area under the titantron. Through the microphone he explains to the official that due to his injured elbow from the Brees match, he's going to elect for his backup to replace him. Schwartz hands the official an updated depth chart where shockingly Ndamakong Suh has been delegated to be the backup quarterback. Suh takes to the ring under a chorus of boos, and wastes no time in trying to take out Rodgers legs. Cheap shots to the eye, groin, and knees draw intense heat from the Wisconsin crowd. Using the ladder, Suh grinds on Rodgers wobbly knee as #12 screams in pain. Suh then mocks the crowd with a Discount-Double-Check, and begins to climb the ladder. The ladder already quaking under Suh's girth, Rodgers slowly rises to his feet, and with a mighty heave topples the ladder, spilling Suh ringside. As Stafford and Schwartz try to revive Suh, Rodgers climbs the ladder and pulls down the title with his final reserves of strength.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

#2 Ravens vs. #1 Patriots (undertermined)

- Brady, still in his fine suit and looking well-coifed, stands in center ring with Wes Welker opposite of Joe Flacco and Ray Lewis. The stipulation for the AFC title game had yet to be announced. Brady gets on the mic and brags to the crowd how he has it on good authority (Belichick's spies) that it will be a handicap match against Flacco. Roger Goodell emerges from the back and tells Brady to hold up. To Brady's horror, Goodell announces that it WILL be a handicap match but AGAINST Brady. Not only must Welker leave the ring, but there is a further stipulation in this match - it will be a "hair vs. hair!" Brady, sputtering and stammering in Goodell's direction, is caught off guard when the bell rings. Lewis and Flacco pummel Brady into the ring floor, tearing his suit to pieces. Flacco lands a Blue Hen Flying Splash, and Lewis an Obstruction of Justice. After the three count, Brady screams as they shave his head bald.

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

#2 49ers vs. #1 Green Bay Packers (casket)

- Rodgers and Smith shake hands in center ring, both looking on in wonder as the casket makes it's way to ringside. They begin the match with neither seeming to want to acknowledge the gloomy vestibule, exchanging headlocks and reversals in a classic bout of fundamentals. The audience begins to get impatient, as neither has employed the casket. Both Smith and Rodgers continue grinding each other down using well-executed counters and impact manuevers, and after several minutes both are exhausted. Smith is first to rise, and finally lands a thunderous Bust-Breaker that leaves Rodgers motionless and the Green Bay crowd stunned. Smith confidently approaches the casket and opens the lid, when from within the casket Brett Favre appears! A Packers jersey-adorned Favre bursts out from the coffin, peppering a shocked Smith with haymakers. Once Smith is incapacitated at ringside, Rodgers staggers to his feet and thanks Favre. As Rodgers turns his attentions to Smith, Favre slowly removes his Packers jersey, revealing a 49ers jersey underneath!! Rodgers, unsure of what's going on, turns around and Favre hits him with a devastating StergerSlam. Smith with Favres aid rolls the hapless Rodgers into the coffin and slams the door shut. Backstage footage now rolls of Trent Baalke signing Favre to a 1-match contract before the bout.

SUPERBOWL

#2 49ers vs. #2 Ravens (Iron Man)

- As Flacco and Smith enter the ring, both worn down combatants size each other up. Both players and their coaches, Jim and John Harbaugh, are read the rules of this unique bout. They are fully aware of the 1-hour time limit and both men want their first championship reign. The match begins but it's clear after several minutes of woeful give-and-take that an hour of this would be unwatchable. Commissioner Goodell makes his way out of the back and tells each quarterback that this won't do. To the shock of the world, Goodell announces that instead the two head coaches will fight in their stead. Brother pitted against brother! And it will be within the now-descending Hell in a Cell structure!

Jim and John waste no time climbing the top of the steel enclosure, and begin trading violent punches atop it. John removes his Ravens shirt and begins using it to strangle Jim. Jim counters with a crushing handshake! John screams in agony as Jim's steely grip warps his hand, but the crowd suddenly rains down boos as Jim Schwartz comes sprinting down the aisle and mounts the cage wall. With John prone on the roof clutching his hand, Jim and Schwartz exchanging heated punches as the crowd goes wild. Jim grabs Schwartz in the dreaded Handshake and hurls him from the roof of the cell! As Jim watches Schwartz writhing in pain below, John Harbaugh lands a low blow on his brother and puts him in a sleeperhold. With Jim fading, the lights suddenly drop - the power's gone out!

When the lights flicker back on, Rex Ryan is standing on top of the cell with his meaty hand around John Harbaugh's neck! After shouting angrily at John about their Ravens tenure togther, Ryan lifts John up and delivers a mighty Mother :censored: ing Bull :censored: Slam! With their combined weight and the momentum of the move, the entire roof collapses sending all 3 men to a thudding impact to the ring below. The crowd suddenly goes insane as Tim Tebow emerges from the locker room wearing a referee uniform!!! Tebow drags the arm of Jim Harbaugh over his brother John and counts out three!

The audience cheers madly as Harbaugh, Smith and Tebow parade around the cell's exterior, Jim Ross screaming out "Good God Almighty!" to which Tebow replies, "Yes, yes he :censored: ing is!"

Thank you so much for this!

 

JETS|PACK|JAYS|NUFC|BAMA|BOMBERS|RAPS|ORANJE|

 

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#6 Bengals over #3 Texans

#5 Steelers over #4 Broncos

#3 Saints over #6 Lions

#5 Falcons over #4 Giants

#1 Patriots over # Bengals

#5 Steelers over #2 Ravens

#5 Falcons over #1 Packers

#2 49ers over #3 Saints

#1 Patriots over #5 Steelers

#5 Falcons over #2 49ers

Falcons over Patriots

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Just a warning this is a massive read. I wrote this up comparing the NFL playoffs to a King of the Ring/Survivor Series type deal. Enjoy.

AFC WILD CARD

#5 Steelers vs. #4 Broncos (no holds barred)

- Tim Tebow gets a huge pop as he enters the ring to the Hallelujah chorus. Roethlisberger draws significant heat after throwing rufie powder into Tebow's eyes. Ben swerves Tebow into the corner, forcing him down against his will. Tebow shouts "no, no!" as Roethlisberger says "YES, you want this, you want this!" After several shots to the face, Roethlisberger hooks Tebow into his finisher, The Rapelock. As Roethlisberger plays to the crowd, Von Miller shoots out from backstage to an enormous pop, hits Big Ben with a chair, and lifts Tebow's exhausted form onto Ben, getting the 3-count.

#6 Bengals vs. #3 Texans (strap match)

- With Matt Schaub looking on from the commentator booth, TJ Yates watches as the official wraps the leather strap around his and Andy Dalton's left arm. After several minutes of give-and-take and surprisingly agile acrobatic locks/holds, the crowd gives them both a modest cheer. Things escalate after Yates hits Dalton with a low blow. The booing crowd does an about face as Dalton out of nowhere hits TJ with the brutal "Gingersnap" spinebuster. Using the strap, Dalton begins to strangle Yates into unconsciousness. The moment becomes too much for Dalton, drunk on success. With the official slapping at Dalton to release him, Andy drags Yates, eyes lolling, to ringside. Schaub takes off his headset and walks to the ropes, where Dalton begins to shout in the injured QB's face. Schaub, with casted arm, clocks Dalton out cold to the surprise of the crowd. Yates slowly covers Dalton for the three count, eliciting a shower of boos from the audience. JR screams of injustice as Schaub reveals his cast was loaded with rolls of nickels.

NFC WILD CARD

#5 Falcons vs. #4 Giants (first blood)

- Eli Manning sits in the corner of the ring, looking unsure of himself as Matt Ryan makes his way out to the anguish of the crowd. Ryan checks the tape on his fists and gestures for Manning to get up. Manning refuses. Ryan begins kicking at Eli to stand and fight like a man, eliciting no response other than a small grin. The impatient crowd frothing, Matt begins arguing with the official about how to handle the situation. As this is going on, David Tyree emerges from under the ring apron and hands Eli his superbowl ring. When Ryan turns around, Manning lands a punch with the sharp ring, drawing blood. The official rings the bell as a stunned Ryan stands alone in wonderment, watching the smug Manning jog quickly to the locker room.

#6 Lions vs. #3 Saints (cage)

- The crowd begins to cheer wildly as the cage descends over the ring, Stafford staring down Brees. Brees strikes first, smashing Stafford's elbow into the cage, following it with a vicious kick to the thigh. Stafford shows some moxy, crushing Brees with a DDT and counting out 10 punches on the turnbuckle. Both competitors begin firing off blows, culminating in a double clothesline that leaves both men on the mat. Stafford rises first and begins to slowly climb the cage, Brees soon follows suit. The audience begins madly rooting for Brees to catch up as they both climb opposite sides of the steel cage. Suddenly boos begin to rain down - Ndamukong Suh sprints down the aisle! Brees, now with one leg over the cage, shouts in pain, as Suh pulls his hanging leg down, smashing his testes onto the cage wall. Brees collapses inward to the ring floor as Suh yanks Stafford over the side, earning a dirty upset victory.

AFC DIVISIONAL

#4 Broncos vs. #2 Ravens (tag-team)

- Tebow and Miller conference in the corner of the ring as the ever flamboyant Ray Lewis along with Joe Flacco play to the Baltimore crowd. Lewis calls out Miller to center-ring. They have a staredown, then begin trading punches. Miller keeps getting up and coming back for more each time. Lewis finally stomps him down. With Miller tenderized, Lewis tags in Flacco, who immediately climbs the top rope, setting up the Blue Hen flying splash. At the last second, Miller rolls out of the way and tags in Tebow. The winded Flacco can't counter the Bronco momentum, as Tebow lands clothesline after clothesline. Tebow grabs Joe's legs and locks him in the Crucifixion submission hold. With the crowd chanting new life into him after several grueling seconds, Flacco reaches far enough to tag in Lewis. Ray hits Tebow with a spear-tackle, and too to Miller. The audience cheering wildly, Lewis takes off his kneepad and mounts the top turnbuckle. He delivers a flying knee drop to the chest, or as the fans call it "the Obstruction of Justice," and pins Tebow for the 3 count as the Baltimore crowd goes nuts.

#3 Texans vs. #1 Patriots (I quit)

- Yates, still reeling from the bout with Dalton, slowly makes his way to the ring, where Brady stands waiting with a microphone and dressed in a fine suit. Despite his weariness, Yates demands Brady prepare for a fight. Brady, mic in hand, begins to shoot to Yates about just what this all means. "Do you think the Texans are going to even consider bringing you back next year, TJ? Really? They're not going to give you your starting job next year. With Schaub there, you have no future with this franchise. You'll always be number 2." Yates begins to soak in the words from Brady's mouth. Gary Kubiak emerges from the dressing room and pleads with Yates that it's not true, ensuring fair balance and competition next year. Brady points out the microscopic nature of his contract compared to Schaub's, and after several tense moments, Yates grabs the microphone and shouts "I QUIT!" angrily at a wounded Kubiak.

NFC DIVISIONAL

#4 Giants vs. #2 49ers (lumberjack)

- Alex Smith, folk hero, takes to the ring with "Don't Stop Believing" working the crowd into a frenzy. Eli Manning as usual stoicly stands quietly in the corner. The 'lumberjacks' for either man form around ringside: Patrick Willis, Vernon Davis, and Justin Smith; Peyton Manning, Archie Manning, and Disco Inferno. Smith goes after Eli who quickly scurries under the bottom rope to ringside, eliciting a torrent of boos. Archie and Peyton encourage him to get back in the ring and fight. Begrudgingly, Eli does so and is met with a flurry of suplexes from Smith. With the crowd out for blood, Eli once again runs out of the squared circle. Unfortunately for him he thinks he's on the side with his family and Disco Inferno. He smugly grins and turns around to see Willis and co. staring him down. They beat him mercilessly for several seconds before depositing Eli back into the ring. Smith plants Eli between his legs and nails him with the Bust-Breaker powerbomb, earning the pinfall as the audience goes wild.

#6 Lions vs. #1 Packers (ladder)

- Aaron Rodgers reluctantly hands off his championship belt to the official who raises the strap up high above the ring. Stafford approaches from the locker room with manager Jim Schwartz but comes no farther than the area under the titantron. Through the microphone he explains to the official that due to his injured elbow from the Brees match, he's going to elect for his backup to replace him. Schwartz hands the official an updated depth chart where shockingly Ndamakong Suh has been delegated to be the backup quarterback. Suh takes to the ring under a chorus of boos, and wastes no time in trying to take out Rodgers legs. Cheap shots to the eye, groin, and knees draw intense heat from the Wisconsin crowd. Using the ladder, Suh grinds on Rodgers wobbly knee as #12 screams in pain. Suh then mocks the crowd with a Discount-Double-Check, and begins to climb the ladder. The ladder already quaking under Suh's girth, Rodgers slowly rises to his feet, and with a mighty heave topples the ladder, spilling Suh ringside. As Stafford and Schwartz try to revive Suh, Rodgers climbs the ladder and pulls down the title with his final reserves of strength.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

#2 Ravens vs. #1 Patriots (undertermined)

- Brady, still in his fine suit and looking well-coifed, stands in center ring with Wes Welker opposite of Joe Flacco and Ray Lewis. The stipulation for the AFC title game had yet to be announced. Brady gets on the mic and brags to the crowd how he has it on good authority (Belichick's spies) that it will be a handicap match against Flacco. Roger Goodell emerges from the back and tells Brady to hold up. To Brady's horror, Goodell announces that it WILL be a handicap match but AGAINST Brady. Not only must Welker leave the ring, but there is a further stipulation in this match - it will be a "hair vs. hair!" Brady, sputtering and stammering in Goodell's direction, is caught off guard when the bell rings. Lewis and Flacco pummel Brady into the ring floor, tearing his suit to pieces. Flacco lands a Blue Hen Flying Splash, and Lewis an Obstruction of Justice. After the three count, Brady screams as they shave his head bald.

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

#2 49ers vs. #1 Green Bay Packers (casket)

- Rodgers and Smith shake hands in center ring, both looking on in wonder as the casket makes it's way to ringside. They begin the match with neither seeming to want to acknowledge the gloomy vestibule, exchanging headlocks and reversals in a classic bout of fundamentals. The audience begins to get impatient, as neither has employed the casket. Both Smith and Rodgers continue grinding each other down using well-executed counters and impact manuevers, and after several minutes both are exhausted. Smith is first to rise, and finally lands a thunderous Bust-Breaker that leaves Rodgers motionless and the Green Bay crowd stunned. Smith confidently approaches the casket and opens the lid, when from within the casket Brett Favre appears! A Packers jersey-adorned Favre bursts out from the coffin, peppering a shocked Smith with haymakers. Once Smith is incapacitated at ringside, Rodgers staggers to his feet and thanks Favre. As Rodgers turns his attentions to Smith, Favre slowly removes his Packers jersey, revealing a 49ers jersey underneath!! Rodgers, unsure of what's going on, turns around and Favre hits him with a devastating StergerSlam. Smith with Favres aid rolls the hapless Rodgers into the coffin and slams the door shut. Backstage footage now rolls of Trent Baalke signing Favre to a 1-match contract before the bout.

SUPERBOWL

#2 49ers vs. #2 Ravens (Iron Man)

- As Flacco and Smith enter the ring, both worn down combatants size each other up. Both players and their coaches, Jim and John Harbaugh, are read the rules of this unique bout. They are fully aware of the 1-hour time limit and both men want their first championship reign. The match begins but it's clear after several minutes of woeful give-and-take that an hour of this would be unwatchable. Commissioner Goodell makes his way out of the back and tells each quarterback that this won't do. To the shock of the world, Goodell announces that instead the two head coaches will fight in their stead. Brother pitted against brother! And it will be within the now-descending Hell in a Cell structure!

Jim and John waste no time climbing the top of the steel enclosure, and begin trading violent punches atop it. John removes his Ravens shirt and begins using it to strangle Jim. Jim counters with a crushing handshake! John screams in agony as Jim's steely grip warps his hand, but the crowd suddenly rains down boos as Jim Schwartz comes sprinting down the aisle and mounts the cage wall. With John prone on the roof clutching his hand, Jim and Schwartz exchanging heated punches as the crowd goes wild. Jim grabs Schwartz in the dreaded Handshake and hurls him from the roof of the cell! As Jim watches Schwartz writhing in pain below, John Harbaugh lands a low blow on his brother and puts him in a sleeperhold. With Jim fading, the lights suddenly drop - the power's gone out!

When the lights flicker back on, Rex Ryan is standing on top of the cell with his meaty hand around John Harbaugh's neck! After shouting angrily at John about their Ravens tenure togther, Ryan lifts John up and delivers a mighty Mother :censored: ing Bull :censored: Slam! With their combined weight and the momentum of the move, the entire roof collapses sending all 3 men to a thudding impact to the ring below. The crowd suddenly goes insane as Tim Tebow emerges from the locker room wearing a referee uniform!!! Tebow drags the arm of Jim Harbaugh over his brother John and counts out three!

The audience cheers madly as Harbaugh, Smith and Tebow parade around the cell's exterior, Jim Ross screaming out "Good God Almighty!" to which Tebow replies, "Yes, yes he :censored: ing is!"

:censored: ing brilliant.

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